What if Luke had gone on the cruise with Lorelai instead of Nicole?

Pretty much AU after the end of season 3. Sookie and Lorelai are buying the Inn, Luke and Nicole are dating, Jess is gone, Rory has just graduated and Emily and Richard are paying for Yale.

Also, I own nothing. Not even the computer I typed this on. That was borrowed. Borrowing things is fun. Hence the birth of fanfiction. Fanfiction is good. Monkey monkey underpants.

~G.G~

Um... Did We Get Married?

Part 1: That's Some Souvenir

"Rory! Rory, where are you?" Lorelai yelled as she came into the front door, panic in her voice as she dropped her bags in the foyer, moving towards her daughter's bedroom, where she knew the teenager would be, "Mommy needs to talk to you!"

"What did you do now?" Rory asked, half joking, meeting her in the kitchen, open book in hand.

Lorelai stopped short, whatever chaos she was about to unleash temporarily forgotten. "What?"

"You only refer to yourself as 'Mommy' when you want something or you've done something you don't want me to give you grief about."

The taller woman's hands fell by her side, a look of pride covering the fear her face previously wore. "You know me too well."

Rory nodded. "Since the day I was born."

The frown returned and the initial train of thought successfully derailed. "I knew I should have switched you at birth. There were so many other babies there I could have chosen from. I could have gotten a doctor, or a construction worker, or a circus clown!"

"Or a therapist."

"Probably'd need two to figure out my problems kid," she admitted, remembering what had started the conversation in the first place. "There's something I have to tell you."

"Mom," Rory urged, sitting down with her mother at the table, at the place where they often talked about the things that shook their individual worlds. Here, the teen feared, her own anxiety growing, would be just another example to add to the already long list, "What's going on? Did something happen on your trip? Is Luke okay?"

"He's fine." Lorelai inhaled deeply, hoping the calming effects would be passed down to her offspring. She knew her daughter well enough to know that she was going to need it. "Promise you'll stay calm?"

This only worried Rory more. "Calmer than you seem to be."

"That's not saying much."

"Mom!"

"Okay, so going on cruises, not my thing. The water does something to me. It makes me sick."

"Seasickness is pretty common."

She choked back a laugh. "Oh, I only wish it had been seasickness. But no, I got the special kind of sick. The Kirk kind of sick. The 'in the head' sick with padded walls and straight jackets."

"Oh, this is so not politically correct," Rory mumbled as Lorelai delved into her panic-induced rant.

"It made me drunk. High. I couldn't think through the fresh air. I was not me. Out on the water, I was not Lorelai Gilmore. I was someone else. I was my evil twin. And since I wasn't me, there is no way I am responsible for my actions..."

"Oh my god! Did you sleep with Luke?"

"If only! That I could handle, salvage in some way." Shaking her head, always one for the dramatic, Lorelai took her daughter's hand in hers, "No Kid, I would have been lucky if that was the only thing I did."

Rory took her hand back. "Only? So you did sleep with Luke?" Lorelai nodded. It was Rory's turn for panic-rant. "Mom! It's Luke! You shouldn't have done that to him. What's going to happen to your friendship? Can we still talk to him? Can I still talk to him? I like Luke! Will I be able to have coffee at the diner?" She paused, her face twisting as though in mental pain, "Will I be able to look at him without thinking about how he slept with my mother?"

Lorelai felt bad for her daughter, for what she was putting her through. Knowing that she wasn't done, she did the only thing she could do: she patted Rory's hand, and resorted to jokes. "Way to stay calm there, hon. I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet."

"Worst part? Can I handle the worst part? Are you making me an accessory by telling me this? Will I need a lawyer to hear what the worst part is?"

Lorelai flinched. Rory had gotten closer to the mark than even her mother thought she would at this point. "No, you won't. But I will."

"What?"

"I got married!"

'W-what? Married? You! To Luke! Mom!"

"Your step-father can cook! Good news there. We're sure not to starve now. And I think we now qualify for the family discount."

"Not helping."

"Sorry. Are you okay there, kid?"

"You and Luke? I need to sit down."

"You are sitting down," Lorelai pointed out, her panic fading in the face of her daughter's. Her motherly instincts took over and in that moment the only thing that mattered was that Rory was taking everything in stride.

"And you! You need to tell me everything that happened."

She rose an eyebrow. "Everything?"

Rory frowned, catching the innuendo in her mother's tone. Nothing grounded the teenager quite like dealing with her mother's quirks. "PG-13 no higher. And this? This is so going in my book."

"See, Mommy is providing you with the material to be on the top-seller's list. Don't be mad at me."

"I'm too in shock to be mad yet. So spill it sister!"

~TBC~

More to come. Please R&R so I can update quickly!