Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I just play with her toys.

A/N #1: I neither advocate nor condone underage drinking or unsafe sex – particularly with minors. That would be the fiction part of this fanfiction.

A/N #2: A long overdue public thank you to little furry cannibals for the laughs, the trust, the friendship, the love, and for believing enough to egg me on. 3

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Another Saturday night at Sam's in La Push. The girls had decided to head into Port Angeles to have a girls only day and wouldn't be back until late. That gave the pack plenty of time to eat pizza, drink beer and talk about sex. As usual, Paul dominated the conversation and Seth was quiet, happy to eat in peace and try to drink enough beer to tolerate Paul's ego. It was when Paul assured Seth he'd get laid some day that Seth laughed softly. "You're so full of shit, Paul."

"Excuse me?"

Seth leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out in front of him. "I haven't been a virgin for about three years."

Quil almost choked on his pizza. "Three years? You're fifteen!"

"Almost sixteen. And I said 'about' three years."

Embry poked Quil in the ribs. "Shut up. I want to hear this."

Sam pulled his chair closer. "We all want to hear this."

Jared shook his head. "I want to know why this is the first any of us are hearing about it. Not a lot of secrets from the pack mind. We all know far too much about each other. How come none of us knew this?"

Seth shrugged. "Some things are private – or should be. My ladies deserve respect."

Jake's eyes widened. "Ladies? As in more than one?"

"More than one and more than once, yes."

Quil got up and grabbed two beers. Handing one to Seth, he sat back down and took a drink. "Details, please. Regale us with tales of your ladies."

"Remember a few summers ago a group of girls from some ritzy private school out East came to the rez to do some kind of educational service?"

Jared shuddered. "The Plaid Skirt Brigade? Yeah, I remember them. I avoided them like the plague."

"You all headed for the hills. Dumbest move ever. Thank you."

Embry's face lit up. "Is this going to explain the weird flashes I see in your mind sometimes? Like the one of you standing in a rock arch with your hands above your head, gripping the rock wall?"

Seth closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Mary Alice."

Paul raised an eyebrow. "I'm assuming you didn't name the rock."

"No. Mary Alice was eighteen, engaged, and pure as snow. She was looking to learn a little something about the male anatomy before her wedding night and decided I'd make a good learning tool."

That made Paul laugh outright. "Blind leading the blind? How did that work?"

"Quite well, actually. Mary Alice was determined to remain untouched until her wedding night so we never fucked and she didn't want me to touch her. But she touched me while I held on to the rock."

Sam was becoming more intrigued. "Just touched?"

"At first. Her hands were so soft and she was gentle – and creative. The first time she wrapped her hand around my cock I came in, like, maybe two seconds. She didn't give up and I started lasting longer and she tried new things. Not a bad way to waste a few hours. Then she asked me if I wanted her to suck me."

Embry was incredulous. "An eighteen year old girl asked to suck your little twelve year old weenie?"

"Thirteen. Said please and everything. How could I refuse a polite request? Things really started getting good then. Mary Alice would try different flavors and colors of lip gloss, different flavored lubes… It was nice. Very nice. She even kept notes on how the taste of my cum would change depending on how many times she blew me in one day. By the end of the summer, she had learned to relax her throat enough to take all of me. Feeling her swallow while I blew my shit was incredible. The girl was gifted."

"Wait a minute." Paul wasn't buying it. "Why in the Hell would a girl that old, with a ring on her finger, waste her time on a skinny rez rat?"

"I'm cute, friendly, willing and available. She was pretty sure, and rightly so, that I wasn't going to say anything that would end our fun. But if you don't believe me, I'll quit talking."

Jared protested. "No, I believe you. You gotta admit, Paul, Seth is cuter than a basket of puppies and girls trust him. I can see it. Besides, I want to know about the plaid blanket images. The one with the girl who has short hair sometimes and really long hair other times."

"That would be the twins, Lily and Violet. Vi had short hair."

Brady got Seth another beer and offered him the last piece of pizza. "So did the twins let you touch them?"

"Oh, yeah. The twins were into passive-aggressive rebellion and fun with food – and threesomes. They did everything together, including me, and always while wearing a part of the school uniform and something they'd stolen from their stepmother. Apparently, it was the stepmother's decision to send Lil and Vi to a private, all girl boarding school. The twins hated it and any chance they got to politely piss on the uniform and get laid, they jumped on it."

"Well, I guess that explains the hair and the blanket." Jared put his plate in the sink and sat back down at the table. "Where does food fit in?"

"It started with the usual stuff. Whipped cream, chocolate syrup, honey, you know. Then it got a little wilder. I learned the hard way never to let a girl who's been eating chips and Jalapeno salsa go down on me. And there are a number of interesting things you can do with a cucumber. When she was finished, Vi would take it back to the kitchen, wash it off and put it in the salad."

Paul lost it. In between fits of laughter he pointed at Jake and managed to gasp, "You are so in trouble, Black."

Jacob scowled. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Sam thought for a second. "The girls are talking about building a greenhouse."

"Yeah, Bella told me." Jacob looked irritated and bewildered. "She wants to try growing strawberries and mushrooms. So what?"

Paul got control of himself. "And cucumbers. You might be getting a little competition from a vegetable, Jake."

Seth nodded. "Now you know why I never eat salad. I want to know where my food has been before it ends up on my plate."

Jacob groaned. "I think I was happier not knowing about your ladies, Seth."

Quil growled. "Well, I'm not. I'm still waiting to hear about the fat chick. The one with red hair and freckles who smelled like vanilla."

"Regina was not fat, Quil. She was soft. She liked to bake and she was –"

"What?" Quil prompted. "She was what?"

"My favorite. She was the only one who didn't use me. She was a virgin until we hooked up, but it was as much about being friends as it was about sex with Reg."

"Yeah, but" Quil argued, "it couldn't have been too much fun doing Regina after the hot, little twins. I mean…"

"You are such a fucking dumbass, Quil. The circumference of a girl's waist has nothing to do with the size of her vagina. Regina was the youngest – and tightest – one of the bunch. She was gentle and sweet and shy. She'd tell me what she wanted by the kind of cookies she baked for me."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Paul agreed. "Break down the cookie code for us."

"Well, chocolate chip was the cookie she brought the first time we had sex, so that meant good, old missionary position. Reg liked it slow and sweet the first time, but then she wanted it hard and fast. No complaints from me."

"Oh, please tell me she baked brownies and it meant what I think it would mean," Jared begged.

"Yes and yes and only once. It was good and we had fun, but I like to be able to really let go. Now more than ever I'd be afraid of hurting the girl." Seth got up and grabbed another beer from the fridge. "Sugar cookies meant oral sex and 7 Layer Bars meant wolfy-style. But my favorite was oatmeal."

Sam snorted. "I hate oatmeal cookies. Raisins and weird spices. Gross."

"Reg's oatmeal cookies had butterscotch chips and pecans and they meant Seth's choice. One time, we spent a rainy afternoon in the cave down by the beach. I built a fire and we lay around naked and talked. I massaged her back and convinced her to ride me. She was scared to put herself on display that way, but, damn. She was so beautiful. All fire-lit curves and flaming hair and when she came, it was magic. It nearly killed me when they all went home."

Collin spoke for the first time. "I guess that explains the Beyoncé and Christina Hendricks posters in your room."

"I guess. I mean, I get the appeal of tiny, delicate girls. They're fun to look at. But I want more in a mate. I want a girl with wide, round hips so my pups will have room to grow big and strong before they're born. And I want full, firm breasts I can sleep on when she's not nursing our baby. I want a partner with a brain and opinions, and a kind and generous heart. Not some fluffy, eye-candy."

Paul nodded. "Well, there's only one thing left for me to say."

"I'm afraid to ask."

Paul stood and raised his beer. "I am sorry for doubting you, Seth. Here's to you and soft girls with round hips and full breasts who will love us in spite of ourselves. Your secrets are safe with me."

"Does that mean you'll take my patrol at midnight?"

"Not on your life, Clearwater. But I'll think about you while I'm in bed with my mate."

"You're so full of shit, Paul."