Disclaimer: The Rangers belong to Saban. The bizarre scene below is mine.

Author's Note: Consider this... a weak attempt at some humor. I love the Rangers, but I decided to toy with a certain scene in MMPR: The Movie. It's stupid, it's strange... it's inexcusable. So with that... enjoy!

Just why did the six Ninjetti receive their so-called "spirit" animals? Do these animals really reflect qualities of the Ranger? Let's find out...

The Spirit Within

The lovely woman mixed an ancient powder atop a blessed podium. "Buried deep in each of us is an animal spirit waiting to be released. Close your eyes, and look deep inside. Examine yourself... your strengths, your weaknesses... everything that makes you an individual. Only if you are true to yourself can your inner strength be released."

Dulcea exhaled, releasing a dazzling display of gold energy that fed the campfire, causing it to burst with power. The floating energies... the spirit of the ruined Temple itself... wrapped around the six brave humans. The warmth and light wove into new uniforms, loose cloth rather than heavy armor, allowing full range of motion.

Speechless, the Rangers pulled down their masks, staring in awe at the images of the animals on their gold breastplates.

The Master Warrior smiled at Zordon's chosen, and walked around the campfire to greet the newest Ninjetti Warriors. "Aisha, you are fat, grouchy, and like to steal picnic baskets. You are the Bear."

The Yellow Ninjetti's eyebrows rose. "Excuse me?"

With a nod, Dulcea continued to the next Ranger. "Rocky, your ignorance, addiction to Pancinko machines, and low-brow humor are subhuman. You are an Ape."

The Red Ninjetti frowned with bare comprehension. "But... I'm in recovery," he murmured, "I haven't touched a Pancinko in months."

Dulcea reproved him with her gimlet stare. "Don't lie to the Great Power, young man."

Dulcea continued. "Billy, you like to deceive young women with your false shyness, only to date them once, and forget them completely. You prowl through Angel Grove like a wolf in sheep's clothing. So you are a Wolf."

A blush painted Billy's cheeks. "But Dulcea, I just don't know what to say to girls..."

Dulcea sighed. "Don't try that Tengu-fodder on me. Your charm doesn't work on the Master Warrior of Phaedos."

The genius pouted.

Kimberly let out a faint squeak as the penetrating gaze of the ancient warrior fell on her. "Agile Kimberly. You stand around like an idiot, flipping your way into corners and screaming at the top of your lungs for Tommy to save you. Then when something bad happens, you start crying. Loud and annoying, you are the Whooping Crane."

Kim sniffled. Dulcea shook her head and moved away before the waterworks began.

"Adam, what's wrong?" Dulcea wondered, noticing the Black Ranger's morose frown.

"I'm... a frog," he murmured.

She laughed. "Yes, a frog! Frogs are somber and warty, and they jump really high."

"I don't have warts!" Adam protested.

"Just give it a few years," Dulcea assured him, tapping his chin and nose. "I can see them coming in. Right... here, and here."

Adam's jaw dropped.

Dulcea moved on, and looked into the White Ranger's imperious gaze.

"There's nothing you can say to crush me," he stated haughtily. "I've already faced my dark side."

Dulcea smiled sweetly. "You misunderstand me, White Ranger. I did not choose your spirit guides for you. They were already within you."

She then approached him, tracing her finger along the ridges of the gold badge. "Noble, invincible Tommy. Immediately after becoming the White Ranger, you boldly declared you would face numerous monsters by yourself. Your arrogance and self-assurance is mind-boggling, especially since you haven't accomplished anything to back it up.

"Tommy Oliver, you think you soar above everyone else alive. So you are the Falcon, winged lord of the skies. In your own mind, at least."

Tommy stammered, but found no response.

Dulcea walked away from Zordon's charges, a self-satisfied grin on her face.

The End