A/N: Heyyyyyy guyssss ehehe yeah...your probablywanting to kill me rght now, and then you find out this isn't part of the story (cough) o-o well, this is the bloopers I was talking about and I know- (dodges chair) WHAT THE HELL MAN?! Gosh I know most of you guys are angry! and i'm sorry that it's been like what three months haha (^.^') well anyway, I took some questions that I was given by fellow reviewers! Here are your answers guys! Anyway for those of you who are mostly likely glaring at the scream, mumbling curse words, and/or are planning my death right now, let me tell you I am posting the next chapter in three hours! For those of you who answered to the question last chapter for a prize, I will tell you who the winners are when I post the chapter! IMPORTANT: I also have up a one-shot requested by Dark Blue Princess as her prize posted so go check it out! IT HAS HOT SASUNARU SMEX! lol no joke but I think it sucks, I tried really hard to perfect there damn bathroom prom scene -.- anyways, enjoy so Ja ne!
Me: Whoo! guys! we are seriously on a roll here!
Naruto: No kidding, even though your story is complete shit. I'm surprised their still reading this!
Me: ...watch your back, I got you down later. Ok so welcome to the behind the scenes bloopers! this is a new segment will be starting today where you lucky fans get to ask the characters all the questions! and you get to see some of their most funniest mistakes on set!
Sasuke: Technically, their reading...
Me: Shut up, I don't need your criticism! Anyway let's get started! question time! so everyone GET YOUR BEHINDS IN A CHAIR NOW!
*Question one, asked by Zakudeath: Gaara and Lee, You know, Naruto is right. That isn't very thought out. How did you two come up with this plan and what would you do if the other is picked?*
Lee: D: not you too! why must the youth today be so curious?!
Gaara: (crosses legs) The answer to your question is simple. We have no money, this was an opportunity.
Lee: Hey! Gar Gar be nice! (waves hands) you see Zakudeath, our original plan was to call off the reunion, as yes we didn't have enough money to go, but then I called our dear friend **** and ****** for-wait! why are their names bleeped out?!
Me: -.- because ****** and **** haven't came into the script yet, we don't want to give away spoilers...YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO FINISH!
Lee: Gah!
Gaara: To make a long story short, we we're- excuse me, LEE was threatened, he got upset, got online to find a cheap travel agency, he found the ad for this horrific show, and he filled out the paperwork. Basically, Lee took the easy way out instead doing a garage sale or something...so-
Lee: Now we ended up here! :D
Gaara: sadly. (walks out of room.)
Lee: Anyway and for your second question, If Gaara was picked I would...I would support him all the way! I will plan his wedding and TAKE CARE OF HIS BUTT BABIES!
Gaara: :| what the hell did you just say?
Me: GAH! when did you come back?!
Gaara: I forgot to answer the other question.
Me: ...
Gaara: ...
Me: ...well?
Gaara: I answered it. Bye.
Me: um...I guess that was a no comment.
*Next question is also by Zakudeath: Sakura, Ino, and Karin, Why exactly are you here and is it for the money or his assets?*
Me: (slumps in seat, hides behind clipboard.) damn it, why these three? Sakura: (giggles) Oh well aren't you brave asking me such a question! :D
Ino: Well, I don't want to say exactly...He is hot, and rich. But I think I could careless about the money. As long as he is still rich, I will still love him!
Me: Ino, wanting to use all his money for your self technically counts as you are after his money.
Ino: really? I think I would call it pampering!
Sakura: As for me I don't know what assets means but I'm pretty sure none of us here is after that. I want him to be mine, because I think I deserve the best man in the world! (snorts) I mean come on! I'm pretty! How many of you guys out there think i'm beautiful? I've had lots of boyfriends before, but when a chance like this comes around, who wouldn't want a piece of him!
Me: ...m'kay, obviously you are after his assets, anyway, Karin, anything to say?
Karin: To be honest he's cute, but I also hate him! But I love him to! ugh! (smacks head with hands) ok! ok! I have one goal, and one goal only! that's why I was se- I mean came here! (gets up) I'm done with questions! I'm to confused!
*our last question from Zakudeath!: Naruto, Why not give yourself to temptation?*
Me: um...(pulls out walkie talkie) Get a group, a large one. Oh! and bring a camera! yeah I know there's already one in here! bring a camera for youtube! This is golden~!
Naruto: Hey...what were you saying just now? (sits down in chair, Sasuke, and Itachi, do the same.)
Sasuke: Dobe your not very good at listening.
Naruto: shut up!
Itachi: No one has questions for me? :(
Me: Itachi! Don't get upset! Your question is up next! Naruto! hurry up and answer!
Naruto: (stops glaring at Sasuke) Huh? Oh right! Ok well the reason I won't give in to temptation is because last time I did, I nearly passed out from puking!
Me: s-say what?
Naruto: I mean ramen is good and all, but I wanted more even though I was full so I ate several more bowls...
Sasuke: (leans in) by several he means 20.
Naruto: ...and then I puked! a lot! Man have you seen puked up ramen?! That stuff is nasty! It taste weird when it comes back up and it's all different colors but mostly yellow and brown, it's kinda chunky too-
Me: um ew...dude, by temptation, i'm pretty sure Zakudeath didn't mean...that.
Naruto: ...what other kind of temptation is there?
camera man: ...
Itachi: Oh god...
Sasuke: ...really?
Me: (slaps face)...your kidding me!...I guess i'll answer that question then. He's to naïve to actually do something like that. If he did give in, I guarantee you that it wouldn't be pretty, afterall I do contro the script! sigh, -.- Naruto you are a waste of time...
Naruto: WHAT?!
Me: anywho, looks like I lied. so far they have no questions for you Itachi :| meh, you weren't that important anyways.
Itachi: But... D:
Me: All right! that's it for this question segement!
Cameraman: Wait! Noni-doni sama! We have a late question!
Itachi: :D
Me: oh, we'll look at that...alright Itachi, we have a question for you.
*This question is from SalemRose!: Itachi, Why do you always go after naruto in every fanfiction? Is there a new obsession with itanaru I missed the memo about?*
Itachi: (closes eyes and sighs) I was expecting something more but I guess this question will do. Well you see...I wouldn't say I'm interested in Naruto relationship wise...but that doesn't mean I never lusted for him.
Sasuke: you...bitch...
Itachi: What? (Eyes Sasuke) Er...back to the question, I think the fanfiction obsession of this so called Itanaru is because I may or May have not molested him once or twice on the battlefield...(looks away)
Sasuke: :-| (glares at Itachi with the sharingan) that's alright, I was going to kill you anyways.
Naruto: ...c-can we continue?
Me: um...(rubs head) haha, yeah...let's do that...NEXT QUESTION!
*This is also from SalemRose!: Naruto, what are your true thoughts about possibly having the famous Sasuke Uchiha falling for you already? Will you humor his advances?*
Sasuke: tch! Like that'll happen!
Naruto: Shut up Teme! This is my time to shine! Alright Ms. Rose! Uh...if Sasuke-Teme-bastard really was falling for me then I guess my thoughts and feelings would be...er...I-I don't really know actually...
Me: (growls) you damn DEMON FOX CHILD!
Naruto: W-what?! (Sweat drops)
Me: Can't you answer a damn question right for once?! You know nothing! What's the point of you being here if you can't answer your questions?!
Naruto: um...because it's my story? (Twiddled fingers)
Sasuke: (stands up) I got this. (Grabs Naruto by the waist and pulls him up from his seat) Dobe...
Naruto: ...!
Sasuke: (presses a soft kiss to Naruto' cheek) I think I'm falling for you...
Naruto: What?!
Sasuke: ( lowers his voice, stroking Naruto's waist) You make me happy, and my heart beats fast when I see you. I want to make love to you slowly every night, hold you close, kiss your soft lips and protect you with my life. Your important to me, your my sunshine, your my angel, and no matter where you are, I'll find you. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a bastard and that I should have been nicer to you. I know what you've been through and damn it, if it'll get you to marry and live with me, i'll treat you like a fucking princess every second of your life!
Sakura: D: but, your supposed to treat me like your princess...
Me: Get out of here Sakura!
Naruto: E-eh!? Teme!...(blushes, presses hands to Sasuke's chest)
Me: (wipes away tear) Naruto...how do you feel? Any thoughts on such a, lovely confession?
Naruto: ...I...happy, I feel happy and...(wipes eyes)
Sasuke: (looks back with concern) Naruto?
Naruto: and I feel...PISSED! You dumbass! You think that will work on me?! I ain't no damn girl! (Throws punches at Sasuke) You wanna know my thoughts?! Disturbed! Furious! Outraged! Sick with anger!
Me: okay, no skyward sword references please...
Naruto: It's going to take a lot more than silly words to make me fall for you! And I better get some ramen out of it! (Grabs camera) SalemRose?! Are you watching?! Here is my answer! If he is already falling for me, he's in a load of trouble! I will laugh in his face until he grovels at my feet!
Me: Those aren't your tru thoughts!
Naruto: I...well...
Me: Truth. NOW.
Naruto: I-if he was (looks at Sasuke) I would be a little excited...he um...is pretty handsome you know and he can be nice when he wants to...Forget you! I'm done! (Blushes madly and leaves)
Sasuke: :D Dobe? Hey! Come back here! (Runs out of room)
Me: Ah well, I hope Sasuke hadn't been confessing for real a moment ago... Oh well, we'll just have to wait and see! ;)
Co-director: Ah Director, Uzumaki-San is raiding the doughnut bar...
Me: He's WHAT?!
Itachi: (gets up with the rest of the group) Come on guys, we got to get ready for scene five anyways.
Cameraman: Actually you all are replay scene four as someone can't scene do it right.
Sasuke: (walks back into room, grabs jacket) Hey! Don't you blame me! It's Naruto's fault!
Itachi: Nuh-uh, it's your fault. During the hide and seek scene, of all places to hide in the script, you chose under the bed. It was supposed to be some place where sexual action can happen, like a closet. There was supposed to be a lime in that scene, you screwed the whole thing up. And because of that, now Noni-Doni changed the script so the readers won't be getting any lemons for a while!
Sasuke: ...Hn. I think your sex-deprived. (walks down hallway with rest of group)
Me: er yeah, anyway...to the set then, besides if Naruto eats all the doughnuts, I'm going to-GAH?! SAI WHY'D THE HELL DID YOU PEPPER SPRAY HIM?! (Runs toward screaming Naruto)
Sai: (shrugs) He ate my cream filled doughnut. MY doughnut.
*Offset bloopers Scene 4: The great Ghost Chase!*
Sasuke closed the door, and tossing himself under the bed. He didn't care if his clothes got dusty, he didn't care if it was un-Uchiha like, In fact, he was trying to shake off the smile that stuck to his face. It felt...wrong, in a way, yet right. His heart thumped with excitement, and he could say that he actually almost felt young again. He closed his eyes, thinking of a day that he had felt like this once before. The only moment he could find was that of the day his brother had played hide and seek with him. When their family had been so right, and not hidden behind a curtain of bloodshed. He wanted to keep it. The smile that he has long since lost. He felt calm and soothed. But you know that doesn't last long when the person your hiding from is all of a sudden under the bed next you.
"Aaaaaand...cut!" Shouted the Co-director as he adjusted his sunglasses. "Alright! That's the end of scene four guys! Good job and i'll see you back here in ten minutes!"
"Lunch break!" Screamed Kiba as he jumped up from his chair. They lady in charge of makeup fell backwards from the sudden surprise, spilling powder all over the place.
"Sasuke!" Naruto whispered, both men we're still lodged under the bed and Sasuke found himself turning to look deep into those ocean blue eyes.
"What is it Naruto?"
"Wanna go get lunch? I'm reeeeeaaally hungry! I heard there bringing out the ramen cart today!" The blond wiggled, trying to pull himself out from underneath the bed. Sasuke slid out with ease, looking down once he was out, only to see Naruto's butt half way inbetween the bedframe and the floor. Sasuke paled, his pants becoming suddenly very tight.
"Dobe..."
"What is it Sasuke? ugh...why can't I get out?"
"Dobe...your ass is stuck." Sasuke breathed, looking around to find anything that wasn't, well, Naruto's ass.
"Wha?" Naruto wiggled again. Indeed his butt was stuck, which meant he was stuck, which meant no lunch, and he would starve to death. Underneath a bed. "NOOOOO! I DONT WANNA DIE LIKE THIS! TEME HELP ME!"
Sasuke squinted his eyes. "What the hell am I supposed to grab?!" He thought to himself. He looked down once more, mentally smacking himself at his sudden burst of stupidity. "Right. His legs..."
"Sasuke-kun! Where are-" Sakura froze in her skip, watching the ravens weird jerking motions, the blond's legs wrapped around the raven's waist.
"Sasuke! Harder!"
"I-I'm trying! Your not the one on this end you know!"
"Well I can't take it any more! If I'm down here any longer, I'll-AHHHH!"
"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled out. The blond continued to thrash, screaming at the top of his lungs. Finally, the raven pulled Naruto free, dropping the blond's legs to the ground and collapsing onto the bed panting. "You. Freakin. Idiot! Why the hell were you screaming?!"
"I saw a hand! It was white and icky and-MMPH!" The blond was cut off as Sasuke shook his head in annoyance. "No more Ramen, because apparently it's all going straight to your fat ass!"
"You dumb bastard! My ass is naturally plump!"
"..." Sakura lay on the ground, foaming from her mouth. From her angle, she had seen Sasuke with his eyes closed tight, and his face slightly red as he panted, holding tightly onto the blond's spreaded legs. And Sasuke had been in between them. She didn't see, however, that Naruto had been stuck under the bed.
"I'm still hungry! let's go get lunch-"
"Oh God! Naruto did you hear?!" Kiba screamed, making the blond jump. Naruto looked at the brunette and shook his head rapidly with wide eyes. Kiba grabbed Naruto by the shoulders, shaking him roughly. "There's a ghost on the set! A GHOST!" The blond paled instantly.
"A-a Ghost?"
"Yeah! The director is saying there's no such thing as ghost but then Gaara said that there is a such thing as ghost! He said this one eats the flesh from boys! And we all know, GAARA NEVER LIES!"
"Sasuke! Sasuke! SASUKE!" Naruto screamed loudly. "We have to go! NOW!"
"There's no damn ghost you moron!"
"Gaara says there is! He doesn't lie!" Said red head stopped near the set, Lee hugging his arm. The two looked over at the group screaming at one another when,
"NAAAAARRRRRUUUUUTTTTO!"
"OH MY RAMEN IT'S HERE FOR ME! SASUKE PROTECT ME!" The blond jumped up in down, screaming hysterically as the lights switched off and the moaning grew louder.
"NAAAAARRRRUTTTTO!"
Sasuke gritted his teeth. Now he wasn't one to believe in ghosts, but this was just plain creepy. The lights came back on and everyone jumped. Naruto was lying on the ground, shivering in fear, bleeding from the mouth. Sasuke paled and looked at Kiba who had fainted at the sight. Gaara remained calm the whole time, holding on tightly to Lee.
"Um guys, a storm just came by and blew out the fuse. We fixed it so...what in the hell..." Ino dropped her hand and looked around the studio.
"Naaaaarrruttto..."
"Oh spirit!" Choji yelled, dropping to his knees. "Why do you want the dumb blond boy of six whiskers and one ramen infested soul?!"
"Heeeey..." Sakura whispered, finally waking up from passing out earlier. "Why is Orochimaru under the bed."
"...what." Everyone blanked. Sasuke got down on his knees and looked under the bed. Indeed Orochimaru was under the bed, waving his hands with a smile. "Hello Sasuke! Care to help me? I tried to get Naruto out when he was stuck but he screamed and slapped me hand away..."
"Naaarrruuttto!" The voice sounded again. Everyone turned towards Konohamaru who was repeating the name into one of the stage vents. "See Inari! When you shout the Boss's name into this, it sounds like some epic fight scream!"
"Konohamaru that's dumb...huh? Why are all you guys looking at us?"
Sasuke looked down at the still passed out Naruto, blood trickling from his mouth. "Dumbass Dobe."
"I bet you ten bucks that it's not even blood." Sakura sighed, slapping her hand against her forehead. Sounds of agreement resonated throughout the room as Sasuke bent down and patted the blond softly on his cheek.
"Get up moron, we know your faking it." No answer. "Dobe. Get the fuck up, your wasting our break time!"
Hinata stepped forward, cautiously bringing a hand to Naruto's mouth and wiping off some of the red liquid. She sniffed it. "U-uh...this I-is actual b-blood S-Sasuke..."
"...?!"
"Break time over in three! Start heading back to the set!" A person shouted over the microphone. Almost instantly, Naruto shot up off the ground, Pushing Sasuke out of the way.
"My ramen! I need to eat!" Naruto shouted, clutching his head dramatically.
"Naruto." The raven hissed. Naruto froze and turned around slowly.
"Eh?"
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ALIVE?! YOU WERE BLEEDING TO DEATH!"
Naruto tapped his chin. "Blood? Oh! Yeah I bit my lip when the lights went off and then something hit me in the head."
"Guilty as charged." Gaara said with a raised hand. "He just wouldn't shut up."
"Can we still get something to eat?"
"No."
"Why not Teme?!"
"Because," Sasuke growled. "We have to get ready for scene five!"
Naruto pouted, crossing his arms. "I ain't going to do it." All that was heard was the sound of Naruto screaming as Sasuke dragged the poor blond into a near by bathroom. Not only was everyone scared at such a sight, but the sounds that came from the restroom were probably the most disturbing. THE END
Gaara: -.-
Naruto: um okay...not as scary, nor funny, nor exciting
Itachi: I could write a better story than you!
Me: Oh yeah! Prove it!
Itachi: Alright I will!...Ahem...and then there's was nothing. The only sounds that could be heard was soft panting and slight creak of the bed. Naruto gasped, his blunt fingernails scratching lightly against the pale bare back of his lover, Sasuke. He couldn't believe this was happening, that after so long, he was finally with the person that had invaded his dreams, his very souls. All he could think about as how amazing it felt to have the raven deep inside, moving, ravishing, trying to gain release and claim his mark. Naruto bit his lip in an attempt to keep his screams from spilling out as a Sasuke grabbed the kitsune's co-
Me: NOOO! SHUT UP! (cries) YOU RUIN MY STORY!
Sasuke: O.O
Naruto: ~(/)~ WHAAA! Finish it! Finish it!
Itachi: He pumped relentlessly, never stopping until the tan boy beneath him was screaming his name in pure ecstasy, streams of-
Gaara: Your done. Your giving a lot of people here MAJOR problems they don't need to deal with now.
Itachi: wait, wait, i'm not done! Okay...and then Sai breaks into the room, ties up Sasuke and hides him in a closet full of tomatoes. Naruto shouts bloody mary, kills Sai with a lamp and saves Sasuke, who is making out with a tomatoe covered Naruto. Two years later they have sixty-four butt babies and name them all Nasuke and Saruto.
Sai: pfft, Sixty-four kids. Unrealistic. Knowing Sasuke, there would be five-hundred and twenty-six.
Naruto: ...OMFG. (holds self) My poor butt :(
Sasuke: ._. Best story ever, just rebuilt my clan guys.
Me: (grabs phone) I'm calling Deidara.
Itachi: Jealous that i'm a better writer? HA! Suck on that bitch!
Me: . Tell that to your boyfriend. (dials number) Hi Deidara, yeah, Itachi says, suck on that bitch. Yep! That sentence was just for you!
Itachi: Wait what?!
A/N: Um guys...is Itachi a better writer! Be honest! Thanks for reading! R and R please! Oh and just for the heck of it, here's another question. *What Character was Naruto referencing from Skyward Sword?* Don't forget to check out the one-shot I posted up! Credit to Dark Blue Princess as it was her idea! I just typed it out! ^^ Ja ne once more!