Title: The Break-Up
Pairing: Ron/Hermione, Rose/Scorpius
Summary: Their daughter's love life inspires Ron and Hermione to relive the outcome of their break-up.
Rating: R
Length: 1752
Warnings: N/A
Author's notes: Written for Livejournal smutty_claus fic exchange. This was inspired and borrows a few lines from Justin Helpern's, I Suck at Girls & The Sh*t My Dad Says. Big thanks to my Beta, Bitchet, who worked under a very unreasonable deadline. I hope it met both the humor and kink prompts requested by shy_of_reality.

"Scorpius owled me."

Ron looked up at his daughter, who was sitting across from him gnawing on her lip as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. It made her look a lot like Hermione.

"You aren't perfect."

She blinked and frowned at him. "What are you talking about? I never said I was perfect."

"Good thing, because you aren't."

"Why are you telling me this now? Didn't you hear what I said about Scorpius?"

"Yes, I heard."

Rose's frown deepened. "He wants to meet for lunch so we can talk. I don't know what to do. We haven't spoken since the break-up and I've just started to feel normal again. What do you think?"

"You're not perfect; that's what I think."

"Bugger it all, Dad. I know I'm not perfect, but what about Scorpius?"

"He's not perfect either. In fact, he's way less perfect than you."

Rose gave a tiny grin and shook her head.

"Honey, people do stupid things. You do stupid things. Scorpius does stupid things. Every now and then we meet someone who we don't think is as stupid as everyone else and we build them up in our minds as the witch or wizard of our dreams. But you know what? They are just as stupid as everyone else, only it took us longer to figure it out."

"So I shouldn't see him because he's an idiot like every other man I'll ever meet?"

"If you want to see him, go see him. If you don't want to, tell him so. But if you don't go see him only because you are punishing him for doing something stupid, then you need to be reminded that you aren't perfect, either. Also, go get me that bag of crisps your mum hid in the kitchen."

Rose's smile broadened like she'd just been given the key to some difficult Runes translation. "Thanks, Dad."

Ron watched her walk over to the foot of the stairs and yell up to the second floor, "Mum, I'm going out!" She turned, gave him a quick wave, and then with a loud pop, Disapparated from the room.

Two minutes later, Hermione looked in. "Where did Rose go?"

Ron shrugged. "To see Scorpius, I think. Could you summon me the crisps?"

Hermione frowned and stepped into the room. "Scorpius? I thought that was over."

"I think they were just upset to discover how flawed they both are. So, those crisps?"

"No, we are eating in an hour. Rose isn't flawed."

"Hermione, I adore that girl. But she has way too much of both of us in her to be easy to get along with. I simply reminded her of that fact."

Hermione looked like she was going to argue, but gave it up as a bad job. "Scorpius isn't such a great prize, either."

"No shit," Ron replied. "And his dad is a much bigger wanker than her dad."

Hermione laughed. "Astoria is a dear though."

"Maybe, but I suspect some deeply rooted mental disturbance. After all, no one in their right mind would voluntarily procreate with Draco Malfoy."

"You think I should check her for the Imperius Curse before the engagement is announced?"

"Engagement? Rose and Scorpius are just getting together to talk. It might lead to nothing. Don't go making wedding plans."

"If you don't want them getting back together, why didn't you stop her from going to see him?

"Because she's an adult and can make her own decisions. Besides she's been miserable for the last eight weeks and it negatively affects my appetite to have her moping around all the time. Also, if she's found someone who's willing to put up with all the shit that comes from dating her, she should probably be really nice to him."

Hermione crossed to Ron and gave him kiss. "You're a good dad."

He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. "Do you remember when we broke up the year after you finished Hogwarts?"

Hermione grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "How could I forget it? It was the worst fourteen hours of my life. I thought you'd never talk to me again after all the stuff I'd spewed. But there you were sitting on my doorstep when I got home from work, making me hash it out. Why did you forgive me so easily? You could have forced me to come crawling."

"Didn't want to wait that long. Besides I was really looking forward to the make-up sex."

Hermione laughed and a wicked gleam entered her eyes. She slid off Ron's lap to kneel on the carpet between his legs. Her hands reached for his belt buckle. "Do you remember how I made it up to you?"

He nodded, grinned broadly, and lifted his hips so she could unbutton his slacks and tug them down along with his pants. Ron's cock was hard by the time Hermione had tossed them over her shoulder.

"I had no idea what I was doing back then," she admitted.

Ron scooted to the edge of the sofa. "I didn't either, but that didn't stop it from being sexy as hell."

"Sexier than now?" Hermione asked, rubbing the pad of her thumb across the tip of his cock, spreading the pre-come.

"No way," he moaned, leaning forward to kiss her hard on the lips.

Before sitting back, he pulled her top over her head and dropped it on the sofa beside him. Her bra quickly joined it. As Ron eyed her breasts, Hermione grasped the base of his cock with her right hand and sucked the tip into her mouth.

He groaned with pleasure, concentrating on how she was using her hands, lips, and tongue to drive him crazy. Hermione reached between his legs and gently fondled his balls, squeezing them lightly as Ron began to thrust shallowly into her mouth. She sucked harder, her hand pumping in rhythm to his movements.

"Oh yeah, just like that. There it is."

He pulled out of her mouth a few minutes later and came on Hermione's breasts, as she finished him with her hand. Falling back against the cushions, Ron shuddered as she licked the tip of his cock.

Hermione ran her hands down his thighs. "You ready for lunch?"

"No," he said, removing his t-shirt and cleaning off her chest. "Take off the rest of your clothes. I'm going to Cast a Cushioning charm on the coffee table, lay you out on it and then bury my tongue deep inside you."

Her breath quickened and before Ron had finished his wand work, she was completely naked.

He arranged her on the table, her head almost hanging off one end, a throw pillow under her ass, her feet propped up on the table's corners. Ron placed his hands on Hermione's knees and slowly pushed them open. He kissed the inside of each of her thighs, the top of her pubic bone, and then rubbed his lips over the cleft of her sex until she began to tremble.

The smell of her arousal increased Ron's determination to make her mad with desire. He lowered his mouth and licked her slit. She gave a soft moan and he licked her again. And again. He pushed his tongue inside her, then pulled it out and used the tip to trace her every fold. When he reached her clit, he lapped at it greedily, before beginning the process all over.

Hermione whimpered and tried to raise her pelvis, but Ron placed his hand on her stomach, pushing her back down. As his mouth latched onto her clit, the fingers of his left hand stroked and plucked at her nipples and two fingers from his right hand plunged in and out of her cunt.

As his fingers continued to move inside her, Ron alternated long stokes of his tongue across her clit with rhythmic sucking. Hermione threaded her fingers into his hair, grinding herself against his face. It didn't take long before she exploded, arching and thrashing against him.

When she was spent, Ron sat back and gently lifted Hermione's shaky legs down from the table. "Let's take this upstairs so I can fuck you properly."

"And skip lunch?"

"Postpone. I'm hungry for something else right now."

He'd stood and reached down to help her up, when two loud pops came from the foyer. He looked up and saw his daughter and Scorpius holding hands and staring at him in horror. "Dad!" Rose gasped, before quickly turning her back to him.

"What? It's my house. I'll be naked when I want to be naked."

"It's the middle of the day!" she almost screeched.

"Is there a perfect time of the day to make love to one's wife?"

"Ugh! Just stop!"

Scorpius hadn't turned his back, although his gaze was focused on the ceiling. "Ah… Mr. Weasley, sorry to intrude, I just wanted to thank you for convincing Rose to meet with me. I, ah… I really love her and…."

"That's great, but this really isn't a good time. Why don't you come have dinner with us some night this week?"

Scorpius smiled, briefly made eye-contact, then flushed and looked back up at the ceiling. "I'd like that."

"Hermione, what night should he come over?"

Hermione, who been staying very still and silent hoping to be overlooked, didn't answer immediately.

"Hermione?"

She cleared her throat. "Sunday evening would be good."

Rose moaned as if in pain.

"Sunday work for you, Malfoy?"

Scorpius nodded.

"Great. You two take off now so we can have some privacy."

Scorpius started to stammer out a goodbye but Rose grabbed his arm and the pair Disapparated before he could finish.

Ron looked down at Hermione, who had thrown an arm across her eyes.

"You all right?"

"No. I'm mortally embarrassed."

He snorted, pulled Hermione to her feet, and enclosed her in his arms. "You're the smartest member of the Golden Trio, head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and a member of the International Confederation of Wizards. What do you care what a couple of snot-nosed kids think?"

"They are hardly snot-nosed kids; one of them is my daughter and the other is her boyfriend."

"That's even better since they both have a huge incentive to never mention this incident again."

Hermione didn't move for several seconds, but then slowly nodded her head. "Brilliant observation," she smiled. "Now take me upstairs and remind me how we made up after our second break-up."

The End