I Only Want To Know What True Happiness Is

By NukaCola101

Disclaimer: All characters are copy righted by Disney/Marvel. I own nothing.

Author's Note: I am fairly new to this Avengers pairing, so here's my attempt at writing a Bruce/Natasha story. The title comes from the song "The Real Folk Blues" by The Seatbelts, as I had the song on endless repeat while I was writing and editing this. Read and Review!


So…this is what it's like.

Natasha was free falling. Oh, she had plenty of other times where she free fell from various tall structures, given her position as S.H.I.E.L.D. But this time was different…

The Avengers where battling the usual gang of thugs that Loki had sent to slow them down. Natasha, aka the Black Widow, was one of the best. "I'm the best at what I do." As Wolverine would often say when he compared himself to his current (and former) team mates. That boastful statement was most true for Natasha: she was the best spy/assassin Nick Fury had ever recruited. She and her partner Clint (aka Hawkeye) where quick, clean and thorough on their missions.

If her reputation was to be the best, then why was she free falling from this tall apartment building? Well, for starters, that goon she was fighting had pulled a cheap shot. Call it being cocky (which was normally Clint and Tony's department), but Natasha had let her guard down. She was too over confident against her opponent. Just when she had a clear aim with her pistol, that creep managed to tackle her down and punch her in the ribs. Then he did something to her shoulder and a sharp pain erupted throughout, causing her to drop her gun. Weather it was a break or a dislocation was hard to muster, but DAMN it hurt like hell!

In the sea of increasing pain, Natasha soon was being lifted into the air and thrown over the edge of the roof like a bag of trash. Now in free fall, there was nothing she could do to stop herself: her shoulder was too excruciating to move to reach for her grappling hook on her belt. Suddenly, the usually calm and collected Russian was nervous and in a panicked state.

I'm going to die.

And with that affirmation, time seemed to slow down. Her body tightened, her breathe slowed and labored. Natasha closed her eyes, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable. Suddenly, a loud crash came and the air filled with bricks and wood being broken and torn off. A grunt followed and Natasha landed on something hard and warm. A large mass wrapped around her limp, doll-like body and pulled her close. A heartbeat and lungs were working feverishly as she pressed her ear again the body. Natasha's eyes quickly opened to see who or what had caught her.

Oh my!

She was in the Hulk's grasp. With a heave-ho, the Hulk leapt from where he had caught her and crashed through a window in the neighboring building. He landed on point with a rough THUD, still cradling Natasha and shielding her from the debris. Luckily for the two of them, the floor Hulk crashed into was abandoned, so no civilians were going to get a rude welcoming from a gigantic green monster.

Natasha was shaking nervously. Her first encounter with Bruce Banner's other self had not gone smoothly. The memory of the Hulk chasing after her on the Hellicarrier was still fresh in her mind. While he was blinded by the rage that had taken over him, the Hulk this time seemed calmer. OK, he was still angry but over the last several months the creature had begun to warm up to his team mates. First Tony, then Thor, followed by Steve and Clint. Guess it was Natasha's turn.

He put her gently down on the floor. Natasha grimaced in pain from her injured shoulder. She looked up at the Hulk, his dark green eyes watching her with the intensity of a predator. Still skittish with fear, Natasha didn't dare show him just how intimidated he was making her feel.

"Thank you." She told the massive green man.

"Tasha hurt bad." Hulk said. All she could do was nod; the pain was starting to get becoming unbearable.

"Bad men hurt Tasha. Hulk CRUSH bad men!" he growled.

Shit. The angrier Hulk got the more powerful and unstoppable he became.

"Please…help me." Natasha pleaded. Normally, an injured shoulder wasn't enough to stop her, but the pain was crippling her ability to movie, let alone stand. The Hulk stared at her once more, seeing her clearly uncomfortable from her injury. The creature then bent down and lightly scooped up Natasha. He pulled her close to him one more, taking care to not agitate her shoulder.

"Hulk help Tasha. Tasha safe with Hulk." All she could do was wince. Then Natasha blacked out just as the Hulk took to the air.

When she came to, Natasha was in the sick bay of the Hellicarrier. The bright lights hurt her eyes and she blinked them shut. Once her vision adjusted, she saw that her arm was in a sling and her various cuts had been cleaned and dressed in bandages. Natasha's ribs were still sore from the punch she received earlier, but otherwise she was glad they were not broken. She struggled to sit up, but the duel pain from her injuries made it hard to do so. One of the nurses quickly rushed over and helped her.

"Careful now! You don't want to upset your injuries any further."

"Where's the Hulk?" Natasha asked the nurse.

"The Hulk? Oh! You mean Banner! Yes, he's in the De-Hulking Cage; still there I suppose."

"I want to see him…" Natasha stated and proceeded to make her way out of the sick bay.

"Miss Romanoff, I cannot let you go! You must rest!"

"When did you last give me pain medication?" The nurse just gave Natasha a blank expression. Natasha scowled at the nurse, whom promptly answered.

"Just over an hour ago. But-but you need to…"

"I'm fine!" Natasha snapped back. "Now, if you excuse me, I need to speak with Dr. Banner."

Despite what the nurse had told her, Natasha figured the dosage of pain medication given to her wasn't enough: sudden bursts of sharp pain would come and go as she walked to the De-Hulking Cage. She had been in worse scrapes (and had far worse injuries); it was nothing she couldn't handle. The De-Hulking Cage was something both Tony and Bruce had come up with. Its main purpose was to act as a holding cell for when Bruce became the Hulk, to calm him down enough for Bruce to return to normal. Natasha entered the room that contained the cage and saw that the Hulk was still present. He was pacing back and forth, bearing his teeth and letting out muffled grunts of frustration.

Good, maybe I can coax him to bring Bruce back.

Natasha tried to get closer to the glass when the brute caught a glimpse of her. With an intense glare, the Hulk sized up the situation, wondering what Natasha's purpose was for being here. He eyed her bandaged arm and sling.

"I'm fine. You did a good job." She complimented. The Hulk moved closer to the glass. Natasha followed suit. "You promised to keep me safe and you did."

The massive creature's posture became less tense. He relaxed his stance and his eyes became more like Bruce's gentle eyes. Natasha gave the Hulk a small, simple smile to let him know her gratitude. "Please…let Bruce come back." she asked quietly. She placed a hand cautiously on the glass's cool surface. At first hesitant, the Hulk mistook her gesture as some sort of threat. He noticed her demeanor was non-threatening. He placed his now shrinking hand over the same spot as hers. "Tasha…" he said, his speech more coherent. Bruce was coming through.

"Bruce…" was all Natasha could say as she watched Bruce's normal form become more prominent. Finally, instead of a large, green Hulk was Bruce Banner. His wobbly legs gave and he sat down on the ground, his torn and dirty shorts now too big for his skinny frame. His body was riddled with sweat, dirt and dried blood from his injuries that he gained while as the Hulk.

With whatever strength he had left, Bruce tried to make himself more decent and cover his naked body with the tattered shorts. Natasha grabbed the conveniently placed blanket and Bruce's extra pair of glasses from the chair in the room with her good arm. After entering the code for the door, she entered the cage and handed over the thin cotton blanket. "Thanks." Bruce muttered and he draped the blanket over this bare body. Without saying anything, Natasha sat down next to the scientist as he was adjusting his glasses. The two team mates where quiet for some time, not knowing what to say next. Finally it was Natasha who broke the silence that was between them.

"How'd you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"How'd you get the other guy to finally trust me?"

"Oh…" Bruce paused. "Well…I let him know how much you mean to me."

Bruce and the Hulk, while two very different dominant personalities, had their own separate memories and thoughts they created. While not being able to recall every detail, both personalities had limited memories of one another. In other words, Bruce had selective memories of the Hulk, as did the Hulk of Bruce.

"Really?" Natasha was slightly taken aback by this. She wondered what memories Bruce let the Hulk see.

"I let Hulk see just how much you care about not only me, but your team mates as well. He's stubborn, but I believe we made some progress." Bruce then eyed Natasha's arm in its sling. He averted his gaze, feeling ashamed. Natasha quickly reassured him.

"No, you didn't do this." She told him, but Bruce still wasn't convinced.

"I…I can't control him…" he said in a low voice full of despair.

"Your right, but let me just say this." Natasha lifted Bruce's head gently with her hand and let it rest on his cheek. They were now facing each other eye to eye. "You may not have full control of the Hulk, but what he did for me out in the field today…was the least selfish thing he has done since this team has formed."

Bruce just stared at Natasha, her face stern and serious. But unlike her normal default mood of being somewhat cold and severe, this was different. This sternness was one of almost begging Bruce to believe her. Even her eyes admitted this. Please, believe me. Bruce then started digging through the fuzzy memories that the Hulk had left behind; trying to find the answers he was desperately looking for. Once he found them, he now understood what she had meant.

"So he does care about others." He said, letting out a satisfied chuckle and accompanying smile. "Now I feel better. I'm glad I wasn't the one who hurt you. But still…" Bruce couldn't help but feel uneasy about it. "I just wish it was I, not the Hulk, who kept you safe."

Natasha blushed a little. Bruce was a kind man who on more than one occasion assisted the team as Bruce and not the green brute.

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that Bruce. You know better that you are just as valuable to the team as the Hulk."

"You can say that all you want, but I'm still going to feel the same way."

"You just need to believe it yourself. Bruce, that memory you mentioned earlier. The one about how much you care about me…care to share it?"

"Huh? I already told you, it was about how—"

"I don't believe it. You are a terrible liar." Natasha pointed out, to which Bruce reluctantly agreed. He was timid by nature.

"Natasha…I'm not so sure you want hear about it…but here goes." He cleared his throat. "Do you remember that mission we had where I had to go back to Calcutta?" Natasha nodded.

The mission was over a year ago. Just when it seemed that the Avengers where going to have a nice break from all the madness, S.H.I.E.L.D. had gotten wind of abnormal activities in the jungles where Bruce was conducting his former medical practice. The team was sent in pairs to investigate the situation. While she normally would have gone with Clint, Natasha opted to be paired with Bruce. Bruce knew the area much better than both her and Clint, since the reports stated that it was coming from his old village.

"You and I where partnered up and I was able to go back to my practice for a while. You poised as my research assistant while you could go gather some more concrete evidence."

"It took forever too! Most of the time we were sitting ideal, attending to the sick and wounded in the village…I must admit, it was a nice change of pace for once." Natasha said.

"Anyway, that's where that memory came from. It came from those boring, uneventful periods of the mission. I watched as you helped a number of people become healthy once more…it showed a side that I, and frankly, many people don't get to see too often. The kind, gentle nurturing side of you"

The way Bruce's face lit up as he was telling Natasha this made her feel wonderful. Bruce continued. "But then one night, some bandits broke into the shack we were living in. You did your best to fend them off, but you ended up with a rather nasty gash on your arm. I'll be the first to admit I can't throw a punch to save my life, but when I saw you injured…"

"Let me guess, you got angry and Hulk appeared."

"No, I didn't become the Hulk. That's what so different about this given situation. I wasn't angry or in any other pain that might have triggered the transformation. I was brave, I was confident and that lead me into distracting the bandits just long enough for them to leave the shack."

Natasha recalled the situation Bruce was describing. He was right; he didn't become the Hulk that night. Bruce had jetting outside of the shack and made some noise outside in the woods, alarming the bandits into believing that some wild animal was lurking outside. And he did it all without getting angry.

"Afterwards you came back in and tended to my arm." She said, looking down at her free arm. The sleeve had been rolled up and the bare skin exposed. A faint scar ran across it. Bruce noticed it and touched it gingerly with his two fingers. "Given what supplies we had at the time, I'd say I did a great job suturing it." Bruce commented.

"So that's the memory you were afraid of me finding out? It's nothing to be embarrassed over Bruce."

"You're wrong…it was then I started to develop feelings for you…" he looked away sheepishly. Natasha realized now why Bruce was hesitant to share this memory with her. It also made her think about how she really felt about him. During that mission, she had gotten to know Bruce better. She learned about his likes and dislikes, his fears, his hopes, his dreams. Natasha also made herself more open to Bruce as well. While she and Clint were trusting to each other had shared many personal things (being it good or bad), it wasn't the same with Bruce. Bruce made her feel comfortable in her own skin and not to be afraid to express herself. She even recalled one night where she woke up from a nightmare from her tainted past…and Bruce was there to comfort her, hold her and tell her everything was OK. Not even Clint was able to do that.

Natasha grabbed Bruce's hand into her and wrapped her fingers around his. He felt her hand in his and looked at her with shock and confusion. Natasha was trying to find the right words to tell him, but she was unable to. After Bruce's revelation, she couldn't help but be smitten with him.

"OK." She said finally.

"OK? OK to what?"

"OK to this." Natasha nodded to their clasping hands. Bruce eyed her quizzically, but then realized what she meant. When it came to being in love, Bruce hadn't had the best of luck. It was hard to find someone who could not only deal with his insecurities, but finding someone who could also put up with the Other Guy was few and far between. But if Natasha was willing to give this relationship a try and fully accept all of his faults, that was more than enough proof for Bruce to try as well.

"OK." He replied. Natasha gave him a soft smile and leaned her head against his body and closed her eyes. Bruce followed. Despite both of them were exhausted and disheveled from their long day, Natasha and Bruce both found solace and drifted off to sleep, all while still hold each others hands in a gentle grasp.