Part forty-two of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose"

"So in conclusion, THAT'S why trickle-down economics is b-lah blah blah," Professor Port drones on as he waddles about like a fat penguin. If Ruby keeps eating cookies, she might end up the same way.

...Nah, she's a teenage girl. It's a well known fact that we can eat as much as we want, as long as we're sexy.

Besides, Weiss won't let her have an unhealthy lifestyle. They're going to have their own room back at the Schnee Estate, so I can only deduce that the number of hours spent on kinky, hot, lesbian sex is going to skyrocket. They'll have to eat healthy just to keep up with the exercise.

Huh, she's my sis. Why am I so okay with thinking these things?

"Blah, blah, and Steve Unemployment made millions on the market with his new-" Professor Penguin stops his waddling. "Miss Long, are you paying attention?"

I nod. "Yes, sir. In fact," I quickly jot down "Romanes eunt domum" in my notebook. "I was just about to mark-it down!" I add with a grin.

Everyone groans.

"Thank you again, Miss Long." He strides back to his desk and begins to collect his papers. "It's comments like those that make me want to move back to the ranch."

Ugh, him and that ranch again. He kept going ON and ON about his favorite cow.

RIIIIING

Hark! My salvation! Faster than a speeding bullet, I collect my notebook, pencil bag, graphing calculator which I don't even use in this class, and bolt for the door!

Huh, I never noticed how isolating and solitary an academy hallway can feel when the girl of my dreams isn't in my arms.

Whelp, when I gotta do make up classes, I gotta do make up classes.

I'd rather do make OUT classes with kitty cat, bow chicka bow wow.

Hello fresh air! Hello fresh sunshine! You're looking half as yellow as my hair! Have you lost weight? Nah, you're still the fat ball of gas you've always been. Look at all these young couples, and friends, and friends who want to be couples, and couples who want to go back to being friends.

Wow, my thoughts really jump around when I don't have Blake to concentrate on.

Hello dormitory door entrance! You're looking bigger than I remember. Oh, I guess that's because I don't have to carry Blake through you.

Jogging up the spiraling staircase, I reach the third floor and skip down the hall. But as I get to the door, I can see that it's wide open. No pink sock tied around the knob, so I guess I have permission to enter!

"Honey, I'm hooome!" I declare as I enter my really small, doesn't even have a stove home.

Uh oh.

Ruby, Weiss, and Blake are all sitting in their metal foldout chairs and have my chair facing them.

"Sis, sit down." Ruby motions toward my chair.

I drop my book bag and close the door behind me. "So, sis should seriously SIS down? What if I wanted to see the sis-tine chapel?" I grin. Oh, I am in so much trouble, I don't even care how bad that was.

Of course, Weiss and Blake have to groan at me. Mrrgh, these chairs need better cushioning, or I'm going to flatten my perfectly rounded buttocks.

"Fine, what's wrong?" I ask, clasping my hands together and getting down to business. "Is this about the porn?"

"We don't care about your porn collection." Weiss deadpans, frustration growing in her eyes.

Ruby adds, "Although, you do have really good taste." That's my sis.

"Thanks!" I smile at her. "But Blake picks out most of what we watch."

"I DO NOT!" She quickly shouts, ears flattening. Her pout is so adorable.

"ANYWAYS!" Weiss interrupts our little conversation. "Yang, we need to discuss something that you've been doing."

"Okay?" I have no idea, really. But if Blake's in on it, it must be bad.

"It's about what you do when you're alone." She continues.

"Woah!" Okay, I think I got this. "It's not a big deal! I wash it before and after I use it!" I quickly explain to them. "I even replace the batteries when the buzz starts slowing down!"

"NOT THAT!" Weiss exclaims as her face slightly reddens.

"But we do appreciate your consideration." Ruby adds. Aw, shucks, sis. You always see the bright side.

"Not helping, Ruby." Blake mutters. She looks me dead in the eye. "Yang, this is about your fanfiction." Oh no.

How did they find it? I had it under lock and key! I kept them all on websites! I memorized twenty digits of pi just to keep the password full proof!

"Your username was 'faunusluvur69', Yang." Weiss sighs, "It was pretty obvious."

Maybe not all hope is lost. "How much have you read?" They probably just read one or tw-

"All of it." The three simultaneously answer.

Weiss holds out both hands. Ruby and Blake high five her.

Unbelievable.

"Anyways." Weiss awkwardly coughs. "We decided to do the honorable thing and have a proper intervention."

Blake withdraws a folded paper and unravels it. Standing up, she begins to read aloud, "Yang Xiao Long, you are a loving, compassionate, genuine girlfriend; and I am truly privileged to have you as my lover, but..." She pauses, looking for a way to say the next words with ease. "But... after reading over eighty-thousand words of your fanfiction, I feel like what you're doing is unjustifiable."

Ouch.

"You have written forty-two works. Each depicts the characters from Achieve Men doing things that just shouldn't happen." She flat out LIES!

Ruby stands up with her own paper. "You've written them having sexual relationships, swapping bodies, being blown up in kitchens, and you even wrote flat out smut that ended in a marriage proposal."

"Hey!" I stand up and point towards the heavens. "I had a REALLY bad Saturday!"

"Regardless!" Weiss stands up and places her hands on her hips. "The fact of the matter remains: Achieve Men has only had sixteen episodes, and NONE of what you've written is even relatable to the show."

"So?" I demand, crossing my arms.

"It feels like you just sat down and wrote whatever you felt like writing." Weiss stupidly admits. "But you just threw in famous characters-"

"To tap into such a small market where demand outmatched supply so badly that people were willing to read your horrible work." Ruby adds. Stupidly. "Like, you just slapped on the Achieve Men title, and people flocked to it."

This is all stupid.

"They all like my work!" I exclaim, "I get flooded with emails every day! People review! People favorite! People follow me!" I stomp my foot for emphasis. "I have enough fans to form two cohorts of legionaries!"

"And those fans are all teenage girls." Weiss deadpans. "And they love reading about gay guys making out. Which you write. Which they eat up, because they're so involved in the fandom."

"And what's wrong with that?!" I demand. Not stupidly.

"You're forty seconds away from a nice park." Blake points out. So stupidly. "You could get out of the dorm. You could walk around, get exercise."

"You could do your homework on time." Weiss grunts.

Shots fired. Return fire. "You could make my sister scream from orgasm, but THAT'S not happening anytime soon." I fire back with the force of a thousand campers.

"At least I don't write fanfiction of characters who have only had sixteen episodes of mediocre writing." She fires back.

"Said characters aren't even romantically involved with anyone." Blake adds.

"Didn't the creator of the show say that Mavin wasn't going to be cannon?" Ruby asks. Stupidly.

"I WILL GO DOWN WITH MY SHIP!" I shout back. "But I won't need to, 'cause the USS Mavin will NEVER sink!"

"See?" Weiss scoffs. "You're too involved with this show, Yang."

"But we can save you." Blake says with a soft smile on her face. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she assures me, "Let us help you, and you won't regret it."

Maybe they're right.

If I wrote with my own characters, nobody would notice my writing. I just leached onto something that was popular and capitalized on the fandom. Does it matter if I'm even good at it? It sounds wrong, regardless of the quality of my work.

Wait a minute.

"How did YOU come across my work?" I demand, stepping back and accusing all three.

They all blush.

"You were all looking for Mavin smut!" I realize! It all makes sense now! This isn't about me! This is an elaborate attempt to shift the blame spawned by their shame!

"No! That's not true!" Weiss reels in horror, but the red on her cheeks says otherwise.

"That's impossible!" Ruby explains, "I ship Xray and Vav!" She slaps her hands over her mouth, eyes widening with horror.

Checkmate.

"I think I've heard enough." I declare as I turn my back to them, even my beloved kitty cat, and head towards the door. I think I'll take a nice stroll around the campus. Good thing I have my sunglasses with me.

"It looks like you readers," I begin as I put on my sunglasses. Glancing back to the three embarrassed girls, I grin. "Have been read like a book."

Yeah! I'm awesome! Their collective groan is music to my ears as I stroll down the hallway.

What a peculiar encounter. It's almost as if some higher intelligence engineered it all, dictated my actions, the equal and opposite reactions, even my own thoughts.

...Nah.