Chapter Seven: We All Feel Still

I come to an empty home. I don't turn on any of the lights, heading straight to my room. Its times like these that I miss my best friends. Simon and Isabelle are both not talking to me each mad for a different reason. If they were going to be mad at me all the time maybe they should have just gotten back together and done it. At least then they'd have someone. Now we are all alone, Izzy in her thoughts that I always side with Jace, Simon in his opinion that I always side with Izzy, and I'm left with nothing. No one to be mad at.

Jace and Jonathan. I'm mad at Jace and Jon. I have to remind myself this, like mantra. I finish my homework with this thought, I grab my sketch book and draw Jace from memory and the mantra falters.

The next morning I find that Jon has already left for school, or maybe he didn't even come home last night. I walk towards the subway, short on cash for a cab fare and too late and lazy to walk the whole distance to school. The morning rush pushes me from one side to another as people try to make room in the crowded cart. I squeeze out, taking a deep breath as more people leave the cart I am once more push forward, and people wonder why I avoid the subway? As I'm trotted by the throngs of people from one side to another a hand grabs my arm, pulling me out where I can breathe. I look up to see the back of a gold mane. Figures I'd run in to him when I really don't want to see him.

"I'd say good morning but seeing as you're here there is nothing good about it," I spit out, wrestling my arm from his grasp.

Jace gives me a backward glance before continuing walking, ignoring my greeting or you know, non-greeting.

"How was your date? Was he everything you dreamed he'd be?" He asks when we stop at a red traffic light a block away from the school.

"More than I could dream of," I reply, smirking as my answer takes immediate effect. Jace splutters, giving me a bewildered look. "I'm sure you wouldn't understand but Seb was quite the gentlemen."

Jace glares forward, then at me, then forward again. He moves closer to me, his hand grazing my the palm of my hand. "Stop calling that asshole Seb, and I don't want you seeing him again."

"You don't want me seeing him?" I screech, as people begin walking. Jace smirks, walking away from my fuming self. "Who do you think you are? Telling me what I should call people and regulating who I see and don't see?" I demand, following him. Jace has a knack for getting under my skin and he is already succeeding in giving me a headache. I set out to torment him and Jon today. Instead I'm the one who is angry and with a growing headache.

"I'll let Jonathan know that his little sister is seeing the douche of the school and he will take care of this or if you prefer I can take care of Verlac so he knows not to step out of his boundaries," he speaks calmly. I, on the other hand, am slowly losing all patience.

"You and Jon are using girls and I'm not allowed to see Sebastian? Tell Jon? Go ahead do you think I care what he think? I'm sure you two enjoy your little sick games but some people actually care about other's feelings. I cannot believe you two are doing what you are doing!" I am angry emotional mess, Jace has the ability to do that to me in any given argument. I can never win with him.

His eyes soften as he watches me fume. "Clary you live in your own head too much you know that?"

I know, but I don't give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him. I glare at him.

"Whatever you think Jon and I are doing is probably bothering no one but you," he rubs the back of his neck, eyeing me. "I'm not supposed to tell this to anyone and I've taken the oath of secrecy but since you're so worked up I'll let you know."

He walks into the Starbucks near the school, and I have an internal debate if I should go after him and let him break his oath of secrecy to Jonathan and chance a tardy or do I head to class and keep my stellar attendance record. Through the window I see him laughing with a pretty blonde barista.

I head into the Starbucks. He rewards me with a smile when I stand next to him, giving the pretty barista an order of two coffees. After I've added five bags of sugar and enough creamer I head to a small vacant table in the corner followed by Jace who takes his coffee black.

"I'm chancing tardiness so hurry up," I urge impatiently as he sips his coffee.

"Isn't funny that you're having coffee with me today?" Is his answer.

I sigh, no wonder he wanted to have coffee. He's getting back at me and Sebastian, "Actually we had lattes."

"I could care less," he counters, his golden eyes blazing.

"What about your oath of secrecy and you breaking it for me?" I urge, not interested in getting into an argument over Sebastian.

He sighs, "I'm not sure what I'll do with you Frays. Okay, you know how your brother is a hopeless romantic?" I nod, Jon won't admit to it, but he is a romantic through and through. He even rivals Izzy which is saying something.

"Well, he's come to the conclusion that he's yet to date a girl that he truly loves and he wants to go to prom with someone that makes him feel, his words not mine. So in the summer as he moped around about his feelings and having no spark he came up with the idea of dating different types of girls until he's found the one. Again his words not mine." I take all this in, even though it sounds completely ridiculous it is so completely Jonathan.

"So naturally he wanted me to do this with him and I tried to get out of it. He was relentless so I decided that if I had a girlfriend he'd back off and I was right. Like I usually am of course." He smiles, proud of himself.

"So my brother is dating different girls to find a girl he really likes to go to prom with?" Yes it sounds ridiculous to say.

"Yes and don't let him know that you know, I'm not supposed to let people know he's such a romantic."

"I already know he's a hopeless romantic," I counter.

"To this extent?" Jace raises his eyebrows, daring me to disagree. I shake my head.

"So are you dating Aline just to get Jon off your back?" I ask, unsure why my throat suddenly feels constricted as I remember him and Aline tangled together at the party.

"More or less," he answers, looking away.

"That doesn't seem fair to her," my voice is small.

"She knows why I dating her. She doesn't really care about me." It's a simple statement. It opens up so many doors, so many paths that I can take yet I sit across from him, staring at him as he gazes out the window.

"Why not?" I ask. How can she not? How can anyone not care about you? I wonder as I stare at him his golden hair obscuring a side of his face from my view.

He smiles, deserting the people walking of his intense gaze by bestowing it upon me.

"That my dear Clary is another oath of secrecy that you will have to work harder to get me to break."

"I not interested in Aline's secrets," I say. Should it bother me that he has secrets with Aline? Of course not, she's his girlfriend. Okay a girlfriend that doesn't really care about him, but still a girlfriend. I get up to leave, suddenly irked that I'm so bothered by Aline and Jace.

"Where are you going?"

"Class obviously," I answer.

"We are already late, lets just skip." He sips his coffee not making a move to leave.

"Are you trying to corrupt me Herondale?" I ask, as I debate sitting back down.

He smirks, his eyes warm as he meets my gaze. "Wouldn't dream of it."

I don't sit. I shouldn't sit because suddenly I don't want to leave, I want to sit and let Jace break oaths he's made, I want to hear his secrets and I want to let him know that I care. And I shouldn't care, not this much. But I do and it keeps me from sitting.

"Don't you still have to draw me?" he asks, trying to sway me to stay.

"I drew you from memory," I blush as soon as I say it. His smirk grows bigger.

"That's cheating."

I shrug as I sit. I can deny sitting back because of my confusing feelings, but my artistic soul has itched to draw him for a few days now and memory does not capture everything. I take my sketch book out. Jace stares intently at me as I try to look anywhere but his eyes that pierce through me, rising in me feelings I did not know existed. Feelings I am not ready to feel. We sit there, I draw him while avoiding his gaze and he continues to stare at me as if I held an answer to an unsolvable question.

"Don't go out with Verlac anymore," he says quietly as I am hunched over my sketch pad. I look up, confused not by his word but the tone. The vulnerability they hold.

"Why do care if I do?" I ask.

"I don't know."

Hello lovely readers! I think Jace and Clary are starting to feel the feels. To those reviewing, THANK YOU! Let me know what you think, I enjoy hearing from you :) Until next time I hope you all feel the feels!