Down Time 5

(There is still no Down Time 3)

XxXxXxXx

Ok, this time I'm back with Ocarina of Time stuff, because I recently got the game (And completed it!) along with Majora's Mask. So expect Down Time 6 within a few months as well.

Oh, and there's actually a little bit of a PLOT within this madness! *Le gasp* So it's not just insane things happening!

Also Epona's song…when it's sung by that girl in Lon Lon Ranch in the middle of the night it's kinda creepy. It always made me shiver.

And now, a trippy story.

XxXxXxXx

Chapter 1: Link's Most Dreaded and Feared Foe.

"Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey!"

Link ignored the little blue puffball of a fairy that was clinging to his unfortunately large nose and continued chucking rocks at the wall.

"Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen!"

"What?!" Link was tempted to throw a rock at the fairy, but he would probably end up hitting himself in the face.

"Link…try to keep moving!" Navi offered unhelpfully.

With a rage filled scream, Link aggressively somersaulted, which did absolutely nothing, except carry him all the way from Hyrule Castle's walls to Lon Lon Ranch. Feeling incredibly dizzy, and confused at the rapid passing of time, he stood and wondered like a drunk into the now dark ranch, more than once tripping over a chicken thing.

Haunting music filled the area. Link pulled out his sword and ran face first into the horse pen. The music stopped to be replaced by a giggle. "Do you like my mother's song? She used to sing this to me all the time!"

Link clumsily pulled out his Ocarina and sloppily played the song, which earned him a horse hoof to the crotch as Epona came galloping over in a frenzy from the familiar song that was usually played before she got carrots.

"Hee hee! I think she likes you!" the ranch girl giggled as Epona snuffed at Link as he curled into a pained ball on the ground. The horse put a hoof on his side and casually walked over him, disappointed there were no carrots to be found. Luckily, Link had a fairy in a bottle, which revived him in a cry of, "I'M FREEEEE…!" before disintegrating into the air and dying.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, listen!" Navi squeaked. "Link…try to keep moving!"

Link reached up, grabbed the fairy, and jammed her into the bottle.

XxXxXxXx

Morning came rather quickly. Or it could just be due to the fact that days and nights in Hyrule last approximately thirty seconds. Seriously, the moon is like shooting across the sky. I thought I was playing Majora's Mask for a while, but no DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY showed up.

Anyway, Link had successfully bonded with Epona and the two were frolicking in the horse pen. They were playing a game called, 'Smash the Bottle'.

"HEEEEY!" Navi shrieked, but no one paid her any attention.

Lon Lon Ranch Girl clapped and giggled gleefully.

Meanwhile, when no one was looking, the evil ranch owner locked them in because he was a shady dude who wanted to give the beautiful mare to Ganondorf instead of the pure-hearted Link. Seriously. No one liked this dude.

Eventually, after figuring out little glass bottles were somehow indestructible, Link turned to go with his new horse. He reluctantly picked up the bottled fairy and he and Epona trotted over to the gates, only to find them closed.

"Wa-ha-ha-ha!" the evil, shady dude snorted. "I'm not letting you leave this ranch alive!"

Link pulled a superb 'getting reeeaaal tired of your shit' face and backed the horse up, looking for an alternate route out of the ranch.

As he did so, the back of Epona's left hoof grazed a nearby chicken's feathers. It stopped its pecking at the ground as its head shot up, its eyes turning a deep, merciless crimson. It squawked loudly, summoning its demonic brethren to the sacrifice of the heroic hero of Hyrule.

In a flurry of feathers, the chickens all leapt at his face and pecked at his unfortunately large nose.

"AAAAAGH!" Link screamed, falling off Epona, who seemed indifferent nor affected by the sudden turn of events. He rolled around for a bit, trying to minimize the pain.

Inside the bottle, Navi cackled evilly. She was safe from the evil poultry.

Meanwhile, the shady dude was busy writing a letter to the Evil King Ganondorf.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! Ganondorf! I have killed the Hero of Time! Come down to the ranch quickly so you may see proof! You shall reign forever king!" he spoke as he wrote, for some unnecessary reason. The letter was picked up by a crow, which flew off in the general direction of said Evil King.

Link eventually rolled into a group of bushes and gave a dying sound. The chickens pecked at him a bit longer before waddling stupidly out of his grave of leaves, their beaks and feathers stained red. They continued examining the ground for any sort of nourishment like nothing happened.

Joke's on them, because Link wasn't actually dead yet.

"Hey, hey, listen! Let me out!" Navi screeched.

Link reached over with the last of his dying strength and uncapped the bottle, setting the dumb fairy free. Navi swirled around him like the other fairies did, somehow restoring him to full health.

"That was horrifying…" Link squeaked. "I…I hate chickens…!"

"Hey! Hey! Hurry! We have to leave! Ganondorf is on the way!" Navi insisted, bouncing on his forehead. "If he finds out you really aren't dead, he'll kill you himself!"

Already, it was getting dark outside. Link used the cover of darkness to pick up a bush and sort of crawl along the ground, like a mini mobile forest. The chickens didn't pay him any attention.

Unfortunately, he was too late.

In a very overdramatic explosion of dark energy or something, Ganondorf appeared next to the shady ranch dude, who cowered in fear.

"You have killed the Hero of Time, then?" the Evil King growled.

"Yes, sir! In those bushes!" The shady dude pointed to the bloodstained greenery. No one cast a second glance at the bush moving like a caterpillar toward Epona.

"We need a distraction." Link muttered. "I can't fight him yet…and if I do, he'll kill me!"

"Where is he?!" Ganondorf bellowed. "The Hero is not here! You have lied!"

"I'm sorry, sir! I just saw him here!" The shady dude squeaked.

"Distraction…distraction…" Link thought out loud.

Luck was on his side. As he watched, Ganondorf's cape brushed against a chicken's head as it grazed. Its head shot up and its eyes turned crimson as it gave a shout for its hellish brethren to attack…

A wave of white feathers barreled into Ganondorf, clucking and screeching. He gave a girlish scream and ran, the shady ranch guy on his heels. The two of them ran from the ranch, the chickens from hell hot on their trail.

Link clutched his bush and slithered onto Epona's back, securing the plant on his shoulders. Perhaps he thought he looked like a bush with legs…he just looked stupid to Navi.

The two of them and Epona hurriedly galloped away, the sun already rising in the distance.

XxXxXxXx

Yeah...I don't know what to think.

Remember to review, and tell me how you like this so far! Requests may be written.

Hasta la Vista, Readers!

Lordoftheghostking28