He stands with his arms crossed as he attempts to hold onto his decreasing body heat. Wind pushes him from the side, weaving between his ankles like a motivation to step forward. He looks down at the freezing murky water that is slamming against grey rocks sixty feet below. Less than an inch away from where he stands is the edge.
It's free here. Liberating. It can all vanish with one more step. He can forget about the pain and guilt that plagues him. He may not know happiness again, but even oblivion sounds merciful in comparison to the hell he lives in now. He focuses on the sharp stones, made shiny and inviting by the licks of the sea.
'How long would it take to fall?' he wonders absently. He moves forward one inch, guessing. 'Long enough for regret to set in?'
He imagines hitting the water. How quick would it be? Instant...
He slowly uncrosses his arms and falls back onto the ground, then moves forward to sit on the absolute edge. He looks forward at the clouded silver horizon.
"Shadow."
He blinks once at the waves, then slightly turns his head to listen to the world behind him.
"Why are you so close to the edge?"
He faces the wind and looks back. Shadow's heart dropped. There he was. That blue hedgehog. This can't be real.
'Did I finally lose my mind?'
The black hedgehog watches in pure disbelief as the blue hedgehog smiles.
"You look like you've seen a ghost!" Sonic laughs, somehow bringing Shadow the first real smile he has had in months.
"Sonic..?" Shadow asked, mostly believing this was too unreal to be true.
"Of course! You see me, don't you?" Sonic pats down his stomach and shoulders before putting his arms out in front of him, verifying his existence. He smiles again, this time creating the opposite effect for Shadow.
His vision blurs as the wind makes his sudden tears feel like ice. Shadow starts to stand up, telling the lighter hedgehog, "I'm sorry," profusely. Guilt burns in him, revitalizing his dead senses. "I can't even explain to you how guilty I feel," Shadow tells him.
The blue hedgehog's emerald eyes are full of nothing but understanding. His arms are out and he hugs Shadow. The black hedgehog had never held onto someone that closely before, and his speech has become incomprehensible by his crying. "Sorry, sorry-"
"Shh, Shadow, it's alright." Sonic smiles. "I'm okay. I'm right here! I'll always be here."
"I-I thought you were.."
Sonic laughs and lets go of Shadow enough to look into the other's eyes. Ruby meets emerald and more is said between them in that single glance than any book could say with a thousand pages.
"I missed you."
Shadow wakes up and is again weighed down by the dark wave of disbelief. His face is covered in tears and the sheets on his bed are twisted around his body like his growing sense of solitude and desolation. Suddenly he was cold again, colder than he felt on that ledge.
He feels a sick sharp knife in his chest and immediately felt his self hatred fill his veins as the bleak reality set in. His hell had never left.
Sonic is still dead.
Ths black hedgehog sits up and pulls chaotic sheets over his head as he leans forward, turning into a black ball of misery. His tears continue and he fought the urge to scream in anger. Shadow feels the painful constriction of his lungs, but doesn't care about his short breath.
He can't do this anymore.
He turns onto his side and crosses his arms over his physically broken heart. His breathing is shaky, painful, and entirely undesired. He has long passed the line of trying to hold back ths pain and pretend he was okay.
He never could do this.
He's dead, he's dead, he's still dead, Shadow. He's dead.
The sole word 'dead' burns into his mind. He covers his ears, his eyes, his temples, struggling to erase the thought.
Just think of what you lost.
Shadow finally broke and stopped struggling. His tears flow and his breath comes in staggered intervals. "This is hell!" he yells, weakly crossing his arms again. He would do anything to erase this pain. His crying becomes so difficult to control, his body has to stop him every few seconds so he remembers to breathe.
He hates himself. He hates the fact he could have changed this, he could have done something, he could have saved Sonic and everything could have been okay.
He hates himself for ever caring. For missing Sonic. For making up this fucking dream just for a chance to see the blue hedgehog again. That's all it ever will be.
A dream.