Ummm Are you dead now? because its October 2019 already!

It's better than I thought, with the incompleteness, and I'm super curious as to how/if Minamimoto and the taboo noise will show up, please update!

I just logged onto my account in ages and seeing this update made my day~ Thanks for continuing.

Really innovative and creative. One of the few word that crossed my mind while reading this :)
It's enjoyable, and the effort put into this is very easy to see. The system of Deck was a bit hard for me to understand though, but I think it was meant to be like this? If not, I'm sorry xD it's more like that I don't get how positions are given, or what role some "cards" have. What's the difference between being a King and Queen? Or an Ace, or Jack and so on.
Also, most of the characters' names flew over my head, and I really didn't pay much attention to them XD
I'm sure I'll read this again and much more carefully next time, because I feel like I missed important stuff.
How the characters are portrayed is interesting, I especially like Neku's (I'm probably biased) because he's sort of a loner but at the same time not emo about wanting to be alone XD
Shiki and Eri (RIP) though T-T I really should've expected it, of course Eri is going to be dead. What I wasn't expecting though was Joshua's relationship with them, an interestingly mix indeed. (Also, wow siblings)
And Rhyme! It gave me the chills when Beat said he wanted a sister. I'm sure there's an explanation for that, and I've got a few theories as to why that is.
I'm really invested in this story crap XD
I wonder about Neku's sigil too...
And the reason why I live this story is... NEKU! Haha jk, it's probably the mistery in all this, I feel like a detective trying to dig up the truth XD
Again, really amazing so far, and we're still at the beginning!

Misty has risen! The TWEWY fandom has been saved! -is what I'd like to say but truth to be told I've also dropped off the face of the earth. But seriously am I glad I came back at this time and decided to sniff around my old fandoms because this AU rocks. It's been so long, I barely remember any of the characters besides the mains (Will the real Rhyme please come forth; it's killing me) but you are seriously making me consider writing another TWEWY fic. I've forgotten just how much I liked this cast of characters and am all for meeting them again.

Okay, but on to the real stuff: story reviewsss yeee~ So far, I'm pretty taken with the world you've built, so much so that even I'm considering asking if I can do a spinoff. The divisions are all incredibly tight, and all the nuances you've put in your writing just make it shine even more than it does already. Honestly, Joshua's point of view killed me. On that note, all the characters are seriously on point. I will say that Josh does feel a little different, but I get that since his background is changed pretty significantly from canon, his characterization seems natural without completely sacrificing his core. Additionally, God your post-AN omakes always wow me. Seriously, adds so much more depth to the story, especially when characters refer to it.

That's all for now. You're on alert miss, my story alert that is. Lol ok I'm a little far gone but please keep writing. I'm back now (viva uni AHHH), and I'll be reviewing :)

Wow! Your writing is amazing! I really like how you did the battle scene. You are excellent with descriptions.

We got to learn about the Spades!...I had to look up the shopkeepers 'cause I couldn't remember who was who.

Haha! My predictions are on the right track! The Noise are using Eri's user for Thread!...Oh...

So, did Shiki choose Neku's room 'cause she knew he had another home and just figured he wouldn't use his Deck one? Or did she choose a random room and it just turned out to be his?

I thought it was hilarious when Sota ruffled Neku's hair since he was kinda his hair stylist in Another Day. Also from Another Day, I like how the cover art uses their Tin Pin Crayon Spirit(?) colors...I feel self conscious writing "color" instead of "colour".

Anyway, Good job! I look forward to the next chapter!

Glad to see that neither you nor this story is death (which is pretty much what the TWEWY fandom is now).

You know... I could make you slog through a long, long review, but I think this time I'll keep it short.

First, of course, we missed you kid. You do good work, and it's fun to see your perspective on things. For the most part, everyone in this chapter was on fleek (I'm told that's the cool kids way of saying "on point" these days) and the action flowed nicely. I will note that Beat has an unusually cultured line at the end of his conversation with Neku, and Sota has a similarly stiff line at some point in the living room, but those minor hiccups did not and could not stop the amazing force-of-nature signature momentum you have. Officially meeting the Spades was a load of fun and, not to slight the other suits, but I think this one might be my favorite dynamic, partly because of the casual use of powers outside of combat (Anna is adorable, by the way).

I like how Shooter and Yammer are Wind and Fire (I didn't guess Yammer would be wind, but I /did/ guess it was because of Tin Pin Wind before he said it). I'm looking forward to a time in the future when they can use this to their advantage and fan the flames into a bonfire! Those Noise will never know what hit 'em!

K1 is such a dork... but so well done. You caught his "always rapping" speech pattern perfectly, and I like the selection of Ice as his element.
...Because he's a cool dude. ;p

Believe it or not, I did guess both Anna and Sota's powers before hand from Aoi's connection to Sheep Heavenly (I can't wait until she learns Splish Splash Barrier!) and Sota's connection to the Hero Pin. Not sure where Yoji's power came from, or what the heck Narumi even does, but I'm sure you'll explain that later. Just know that so far everyone is a ton of fun to see in action.

Which, of course, leads me to Neku! I love how you pulled out all the lightning based psyches and made them work so well in this situation. He's nice and resourceful (I guess that's what you expect from a kid who can calculate the square root of 5 on the fly?) and believably powerful without being over powered. On top of that, he really is a great front-lines leader who knows how to use each of his suit members to the fullest (except maybe shooter. Poor shooter...). In a way, he's kind of the surprisingly well adjusted segment of Deck, which is a nice contrast to the other suits right now. We can only take so much chaos, you know?

Oh, and I have so many questions about Shigemi. Maybe it's a translation difference, but in the US version I'm pretty sure her surname is "Konno". I wonder why they changed it... (unless CG is just remembering it wrong, which is entirely possible). I also wonder about her abilities and how she got to be Queen (I had her pegged as Six at the highest judging by forum posts...). By her association with burgers, I would love for her to have some sort of "sizzle" based abilities, but I'm not sure how you would pull that off without overlapping Shooter's powers.
Oh, wait, yes I do know how you could do it: you're Dina, you can do anything.

Also, I'm only slightly disappointed at the solid confirmation here that the J0KERverse is indeed inherently at odds with the Deckverse. Dang... well, that's what I get for adding lore. On the upside, I'm super intrigued by this version and am already theorizing something involving broad band communications when it comes to inter-dimensional Noise interference. Seriously. I love it when a fic is well written enough that I can theorize about it!

Oh, and that end part. So good. Things are gonna get interesante para Neku...

Soooo... yeah, that's about what my scattered brain can come up with at the moment. Although it may not be as much as usual, just know that I am super pleasantly surprised this came out when it did and am very happy to see you again. Happy late birthday, kid.

Yours,
-CG

Omg an update! Yay!

I liked reading more about what might have caused the Noise infestation and what the organization's goals are.

Shooter fan-boying over Neku is so cute.

I love reading their chat logs at the end.

Ya know my mother always warned me about black magic and blood rituals. HA, shows what she knows because you are the fourth author in the past year to suddenly rise from the grave and update a story.

The chapter is good, I din't notice any spelling and grammar errors outside of when Okada froze the Noise in place; he said I don't 'place' nice, I'm guessing it was supposed to be play nice.

It's interesting that there are Noise that can speak, I had previously assumed that the message from before was sent by a reaper character like Sho or Yodai. Even more curious is their knowledge of the on goings of the suits, I wonder if Tatsuya is on the something and the Noise are in fact in the process of hacking them.

And Shiki some how managed to get in to Neku's room, I'm guessing he's going to have his parents to thank for that one.

Ah one more thing: it's good to see you're back.

To think I gave up on this fic ever being updated. Well then, good thing I never actually removed it from my watch list!

As always your writing is awesome and I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds!

And don't worry too much about the time it took. I mean, you're doing better than me: I haven't updated a story in about as long, and while I was a bit busy with my job, I'm still pretty sure if I really put in the effort I already could have updated several times...

...I guess I should get on that...

Still, great work!

Gah! I totally forgot which account I was logged into! Please take down the Sauce Project Collective one and leave this (the same exact review) in it's place!

Please allow me the loudest of creams because Dina has returned from the dead.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

...You may now return to your regularly scheduled review.

But no, seriously, Dina, it's great to see you posting again! Just in time for SOSS, too! Speaking of which, you should totally stop by the forum. We've missed you loads.

Oh, wait, we're here for the new DECK chapter. Should focus on that.

Wow, a new DECK chapter...

Well, uh, sorry, Clubs, but you might be in for some bad news...

Oooh, some interesting insights into DECK life. Provate tutors and technical reports, huh? Definitely not a place for the weak-willed...Stay strong, Neku!

Whoopsie, it's been three days and still no Shiki. And of course Beat thinks Neku knows where she is. I sense some of Dina's usual NeShiki antics in progress!

But, uh, if the CARDS can automatically call any other CARD, doesn't that mean they could just call Shiki's card. I'm assuming she doesn't have it on her, but it still seems like a point to note.

Also if they have all DECK correspondances, that just means they have the J0ker contacts hanging around somewhere...just hidden.

Gah, look at all that foreshadowing with Neku's scar there. Out of curiosity, were you planning on involving Kazemaru in this fic at all? Or is that a secret?

Hmm... Hm... HMMMMMM... Neku, whatchu hiding there bro...

Have I mentioned that I love the way you've fleshed out the shopkeepers? Because I really do. You manage to build on what they have, toss in a bit of TWEWY flair, and weave them into the scene to boot!

And there's Omura. This can only get more interesting from here...

But Omura. If something's wrong with Neku's CARD, how could he possibly message you with it?!

Oh, nice exposition placement. Dialogue is the way to go, though it does feel a tiny bit contrived for "pop quiz!" suddenly. It gets the job done, so I'll say you're fine, though.

The department of each prefecture, huh? So may different possible DECK departments! .

Neku's psychic foreshadowing scar is afoot! What crazy type of Noise are we facing off with today?

Aw, poor Shooter. Don't worry, little buddy. I'm sure you'll get your time in the spotlight soon enough!

"That was in indication that it did depend some[what] on visibility."

Oh, it's a deer! That's really cool, though bad for the Spades. Hm, I wonder if it's just a high tier like the fox noise or if something else is involved underneath it...

Well, okay, the deer can talk. That answers that question!

"Storm Warning!"
There it is! There's the chapter title! OOoooooh!

Neku doesn't like hospitals, huh? Bad experience, buddy?

Hmmmmm, you keep teasing in all these different threads I wanna see where they all go, Dina! You're so good at this...

Aw, Shooter's a two. That's cute. I'm sure he's just excited to be a member. Though J0ker got me used to Pokoni being in slot seven... A nice contrast of dynamics!

And look at Neku, bein a leader! You're well suited for this, Neku, even if you probably don't think you are!

Hey, Omura agrees with me!

Oh, there's Shiki's CARD. Thank you for completing my thought, Dina! I shoulda had faith in you.

Well, if Omura's stopping by the Hearts next, I'm sure he (and we, the readers) are in for an interesting time...

"Neku didn't know what to make of this guy, he seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders but the clumsiness was a bit of a mismatch." While a good observation, this is a comma splice.

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

OKAY HI SHIKI.

I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO SOME SHENANIGANS DINA I KNEW IT.

But, seriously, two and a half years later or no, it's great to have you back. Man, you, CG, and X all resurrecting in roughly the same time period, plus I actually wrote something TWEWY... Gah, it makes me wanna write Muse even more now! Damn my own crappy fanfiction habits...

And I also hope to see more chapters from you soon! You should definitely swing by SOSS for a chat, tho (and I should, too), cause things are getting Saucey as always!

Well, looking at the forums, it seems like the internal strife is on the horizon. Watch yourself, guys, there's a super powerful Noise threat on the horizon...

Hmm... That StrawbEri UN is really getting out of hand, huh... Is it from the Noise? Or something else? Man, you just keep piling on the suspense, Dina! I hope your inspiration holds!

And one last note that I'm glad to see you up and writing again! Hit me up sometime if you wanna chat and hang around sometime! Miss you lots!

-Avi

Please allow me the loudest of creams because Dina has returned from the dead.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

...You may now return to your regularly scheduled review.

But no, seriously, Dina, it's great to see you posting again! Just in time for SOSS, too! Speaking of which, you should totally stop by the forum. We've missed you loads.

Oh, wait, we're here for the new DECK chapter. Should focus on that.

Wow, a new DECK chapter...

Well, uh, sorry, Clubs, but you might be in for some bad news...

Oooh, some interesting insights into DECK life. Provate tutors and technical reports, huh? Definitely not a place for the weak-willed...Stay strong, Neku!

Whoopsie, it's been three days and still no Shiki. And of course Beat thinks Neku knows where she is. I sense some of Dina's usual NeShiki antics in progress!

But, uh, if the CARDS can automatically call any other CARD, doesn't that mean they could just call Shiki's card. I'm assuming she doesn't have it on her, but it still seems like a point to note.

Also if they have all DECK correspondances, that just means they have the J0ker contacts hanging around somewhere...just hidden.

Gah, look at all that foreshadowing with Neku's scar there. Out of curiosity, were you planning on involving Kazemaru in this fic at all? Or is that a secret?

Hmm... Hm... HMMMMMM... Neku, whatchu hiding there bro...

Have I mentioned that I love the way you've fleshed out the shopkeepers? Because I really do. You manage to build on what they have, toss in a bit of TWEWY flair, and weave them into the scene to boot!

And there's Omura. This can only get more interesting from here...

But Omura. If something's wrong with Neku's CARD, how could he possibly message you with it?!

Oh, nice exposition placement. Dialogue is the way to go, though it does feel a tiny bit contrived for "pop quiz!" suddenly. It gets the job done, so I'll say you're fine, though.

The department of each prefecture, huh? So may different possible DECK departments! .

Neku's psychic foreshadowing scar is afoot! What crazy type of Noise are we facing off with today?

Aw, poor Shooter. Don't worry, little buddy. I'm sure you'll get your time in the spotlight soon enough!

"That was in indication that it did depend some[what] on visibility."

Oh, it's a deer! That's really cool, though bad for the Spades. Hm, I wonder if it's just a high tier like the fox noise or if something else is involved underneath it...

Well, okay, the deer can talk. That answers that question!

"Storm Warning!"
There it is! There's the chapter title! OOoooooh!

Neku doesn't like hospitals, huh? Bad experience, buddy?

Hmmmmm, you keep teasing in all these different threads I wanna see where they all go, Dina! You're so good at this...

Aw, Shooter's a two. That's cute. I'm sure he's just excited to be a member. Though J0ker got me used to Pokoni being in slot seven... A nice contrast of dynamics!

And look at Neku, bein a leader! You're well suited for this, Neku, even if you probably don't think you are!

Hey, Omura agrees with me!

Oh, there's Shiki's CARD. Thank you for completing my thought, Dina! I shoulda had faith in you.

Well, if Omura's stopping by the Hearts next, I'm sure he (and we, the readers) are in for an interesting time...

"Neku didn't know what to make of this guy, he seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders but the clumsiness was a bit of a mismatch." While a good observation, this is a comma splice.

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

OKAY HI SHIKI.

I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO SOME SHENANIGANS DINA I KNEW IT.

But, seriously, two and a half years later or no, it's great to have you back. Man, you, CG, and X all resurrecting in roughly the same time period, plus I actually wrote something TWEWY... Gah, it makes me wanna write Muse even more now! Damn my own crappy fanfiction habits...

And I also hope to see more chapters from you soon! You should definitely swing by SOSS for a chat, tho (and I should, too), cause things are getting Saucey as always!

Well, looking at the forums, it seems like the internal strife is on the horizon. Watch yourself, guys, there's a super powerful Noise threat on the horizon...

Hmm... That StrawbEri UN is really getting out of hand, huh... Is it from the Noise? Or something else? Man, you just keep piling on the suspense, Dina! I hope your inspiration holds!

And one last note that I'm glad to see you up and writing again! Hit me up sometime if you wanna chat and hang around sometime! Miss you lots!

-Avi

Dang, this was such a good AU. I understand if you've lost interest in TWEWY and don't want to finish it or whatever, but I wanted to let you know I enjoyed it.

Alright, time for a long overdue review!

First, congrats on creating a mainstay for Shiki's character with the Phantom Eri interactions. It's something that let's Shiki unwind as a character and articulate her thoughts in a unique manner that so far as avoided being stale. Good stuff!

}NOTES ON MAKOTO{ You play up Makoto's indecisive "I know what I need to be doing but not how to do it" nature pretty well. He's a great pick for a second in command, but I can definitely see problems arising if he has to take over for Shiki completely.

Shiki's inner conflict throughout the chapter is wonderfully executed. Her struggle for self-worth and affirmation are understandable in her context and lack the usual contrivance one would expect from a teen on the matter. She has a certain air of maturity about her, but it's still obvious she's in over her head and needs help feeling her way through life. Give her time though, and I'm sure she'll be amazing. (Might take till the end of the fic, but I'm willing to wait!)

Great foreshadow with Shiki forgetting Mr. Mew at the beginning. Her mental attachment to him is weakening. It's a very nice, subtle way to show how she's growing distant from that which makes her strong.

}NOTES ON NAO{ I've always liked Nao. The way she phrases everything as a question, the way she unabashedly plays the cutesy role, there's just a certainty in her ditziness that's difficult to hate. I'm glad you've captured that here. Putting her as a Nine though... it makes me wonder what she's like in action!

}NOTES ON AILY{ Aily (along with Ayu) is one of a few shopkeepers that I didn't actually feel too connected to. I see you've listed her as a four, which puts into question exactly what it is that you'll get out of this role. However, as an easy-going foil and extra body, I think she'll do just fine. After all, not everyone needs a spotlight and there will always be a need for crowd fillers. You've given her just enough character that she's not faceless, but I don't see her stealing the show anytime soon.

The description of the Midori District as a mixed bag is nice, seeing as it's the homeground to the Clubs. Yes, there's diversity, but there's also a unity in purpose; a wonderful use of the environment for reflection.

"She remembered when Joshua used to use his powers for better things..."
This line feels cliche... but not enough to detract from the story. Besides, it raises the question of how exactly he used mind control for good.

"/But there might be other things besides people who might try looking for fish./"
That's a little rapid on repeating "might", I'd suggest circumventing the second one somehow.

I think it's funny that you list Nimew as an "it" in normal narration, but as a "he" in Shiki's thoughts.

"Shiki repeated {this} a bit louder,"
Personally, I don't think you need that "this" in there. You could also stand to have this as a stand alone sentence rather than compounding with the later ones.

"Suddenly[,] there was a cry{,} that Shiki could only describe..."
Comma redistribution. Puzzle it over for yourself.

Nice build up and unraveling with the Noise confrontation. Shiki's sudden loss of powers is a great point to introduce and lends some good desperation to the scene. Plus, it allows you to emphasize why only Deck can handle this threat: without O-energy it's a lost cause.

Hmm... Nimew's a sharp tack... It couldn't be somehow connected to... Eri?
No, that's just ridiculous. Nevermind.

Shiki's conflict over calling for help is a great character building moment where you use social consciousness to counteract the Straight and simple approach. It's a good writing that makes for a more complex scenario. Nice!

"She saw three Clubs, approaching from the other entrance to the site."
I feel like this could use just a little more preamble. Something like "Looking up" or "wheeling around", something that connects why she /now/ sees the three Clubs.

}NOTES ON FUMI{ I LOVE the gamer slang this kid uses! It's a very creative use of the otherwise garden variety Mus Rattus characters. I do wonder how a low budget Rattus like him can afford the latest and greatest in gaming, but I think it might be an element you plan on using later, like as a way to keep his powers evolving. At any rate, he's a solid setup with a colorful personality besides. Great work!

}NOTES ON YUMI{ As the counterpoint to Fumi, Yumi plays her part well. I get the feeling that her powers are kinda unreliable/cumbersome due to her position as a two, but she's also something of a wild card that you can play later on. Like the Gamer, she has room to grow. At the same time, she's fine where she is as just another member of Clubs. Maybe you could incorporate literary quotes into her character speech style though... that might be interesting.

}NOTES ON RAYCA{ Oh my golly-goodness... a bling warrior? This is probably the most creative clubs setup so far. Even if it's the "Sizzling Gaze" psych, or whatever "Eyes Full of Light" activates, playing it as a unique ability works well here. Also, adding some pomp to the mix gives you the opportunity to operate some internal tension in clubs. She's a necessary literary element because she's willing to state her own opinions on what's wrong with the situation where as most of Clubs is too easy going to bring any discontent to the table. In a way, I wonder if she's only a five because of such qualities...

}NOTES ON HIDEKI{ Hideki has always been one of my favorite food vendors to visit. He just has a simple, quiet happiness about him that puts you at ease. His iteration here holds the same qualities. Although I'm sure he's well appreciated in Clubs, personally I wonder if he'll be more literarilly significant in how he contributes to Deck as a whole.

}NOTES ON AYU{ In this situation, I think one of Ayu's most notable qualities is how high she is ranked without being a blank. Clubs upper crust seems to lean in that direction (minus Makoto, of course!) so having her to play counter is an important element. Should this ever become a Blanks vs. nonblanks situation, she's in a tipping point position where she's close to many of the blanks but can still side with the nonblanks. Of course, only time will tell what her role truly holds...

}NOTES ON TSUBASA{ Personally, I'm not sure how to take this guy. As the sole male seller of DB, I'm sort of confused as to what kind of person he could be. Having him be connected to Sota and Kyo is a good choice though, as it gives him a context to build off of and a dynamic to fill. If Sota's the swashbuckling, romantic hero, and Kyo's the Skate Legend, I think it gives Tsubasa the option to be the sophisticated element of the group.

The way the living-room conference deteriorates is painfully well done. There's sort of a dominoes like feeling as it appears more and more that certain sentiments had already been decided before things had even begun.

Also, nice play on Makoto's honorable side. It shows why he's a Jack: he can take responsibility.

The ending brings up a number of questions and leaves us eager for whatever's next without feeling like lazy writing. How does one leave Deck? And if she does, can she ever come back in? Intriguing...

As always, You've done a wonderful job with delivering something fresh and enjoyable that still noticeably furthers the plot. Hopefully I'll be a little more punctual with my review whenever the next chapter comes out. In the meantime though, Love and Peace. May you get your laptop fixed.

Oh, and you get a gold star for lack of typos! Add it to the collection and have a cyber High-five.

And the plot thickens with the Thread 104... Whatever that's leading to, I have full confidence you'll make it amazing.

May you ever be inspired,
Yours,
-CG