i wanted to cry

*burst into tears* Poor May! Why out of all people, she have to die?

So sad

I'm too lazy to log in but literally I'm crying right now. A real tear just fell down my cheek. THANKS A LOT PAL.

But seriously this was so good and sad and angsty and I loVED IT.

we're going to get kicked out of the fandom #stopsydneyandaryanna2k14

oh my god... I'm crying no joke :(((((((

simply beautiful

wait though... where was May all this time?
her death had only been recent then... WHAT?! PLEASE CLARIFY :(((

That was really, really wonderful. :) I'll write this review as I listen to Remembering Sunday for the first time haha

I'll try to nitpick out the faults first:
(just as a head's up, I'm going to try not to mention points already made by other reviewers in fear of redundancy, though I do agree with them)

1) Make sure you always try to show, not tell. Right off the bat, "...though he declined" is showing. How did he decline? Did he shake his head? Push it away? Hold up a hand? It's a small detail, but a larger concept to always remember.

2) Avoid adverbs and/or unnecessary adjectives. The idea behind this is to have your writing as condensed as possible, and maybe even trace back to showing not telling. (There are a ton of super enlightening articles on this just a Google search away. :D) For example, ["She's alive," Drew said firmly, "She has to be."] Instead of "said firmly", you could use "maintained" or "retorted" and halve the word count. Or, if you feel descriptive, you could just get rid of "firmly" and paint an even better picture by saying something like, ["She's alive," Drew said, yet judging by Solidad and Harley's expressions, his ears weren't the only ones his words sounded hollow to. "She has to be."]

3) ok so I said I wasn't going to be repetitive, but it's important and you do it a lot so :P but don't join two clauses with just a comma. You could change that comma into a semicolon (but preferably not too often), sometimes an em dash, add a conjunction, or just turn it into a period.

4) [Max coughed, "We haven't...all compete," he informed, as if he read Drew's mind.] [She bit her lip back, "T-They found May," she revealed...] Don't have more than one dialogue tag with each piece of dialogue unless one has a conjunction or something. Though for that matter, don't have an action serving as a dialogue tag that doesn't describe how the dialogue is being spoken. For example, the action of coughing doesn't really make the sound "We haven't gotten any news about the case", and biting your lip doesn't make the sound "T-they found May". In those cases, just end each clause with periods.

I would've liked more description for the battle, but maybe that's just personal preference.

And some spelling/capitalization typos. :P

That aside, I liked this story. A lot. I guess I'm masochistic in that I'm always looking for something to give me feels, but this satisfied.
There are a lot of wonderful lines, ex. "Every rival was waiting for him, everyone except her." and basically the entire May/Drew scene. The two rarely get serious in the show, but if they did, that'd be the tone their conversation would take on. There's this urgency and almost ethereal feel about it, and it's not just because it's May's spirit/ghost (ok it might be because it's her spirit/ghost) and I love it. I'm wondering if May knew Drew was in love with her when she was confessing everything to him...if she didn't, all the more beautiful and bittersweet. :')
I love the format, though it did take me three readings to realize that the first scene was the beginning of the Grand Festival and May had just gone missing a few hours ago, as opposed to weeks or months like I thought. That aside, it's the feeling that we're running through a very realistic, action-y Grand Festival along with the more emotional, distressing part, and the balance between the two sides is great.
The only thing content-wise that I wasn't so keen on was the ending. The first five paragraph were great. They were emotional, beautiful, and easily pictured. However, I'm not really sure what to make of the last two lines. To me, it symbolizes that Drew and Solidad are moving on from May just like that, and it's a little unsatisfying especially considering that we just had five beautiful, emotional paragraphs. In addition, those last two lines feel out of place because the prose suddenly simplifies so much, and it feels a little awkward.

Anyways, I really like this story. Overall, it seems that you have a natural knack for writing, it's just grammar and syntax you need to clean up on. :) Faved!

:( Poor baby drew! Ugh this isn't helping me, I've been down in the dumps cuz I just read a book series and the main character died! But this story was really good, I love your writing style and I might be stalking your profile :-0 haha

Aw, this is so sad and sweet.
Poor May, and all those who love her.
The part where May sort of came back to Drew, that was amazing!

Introduction:
- I feel compelled to point out that I love that you wrote this with music. I tend to do that with a majority of my own stories, so it is interesting to see how others music inspired stories turn out.
-I do like the summary, it is interesting and draws the reader in.

Content:
-"She swore that she'd beat him to Top Coordinator first;she wouldn't back out of a promise." I love this sentence. It's a great way into Drew's mind and in a way shows the relationship between the pair. It sets the story up for his mind set. And I like semi colons.
-I feel as though Harley is a bit OOC, primarily to the girl that Drew was comforting. I feel as though he would be a bit more "in your face." That's just me. Given the fact that the last pokemon episode he was in reveals a more love/hate relationship with May and Harley, I can see him being a bit too out of it to be more...Harley. If anything, though, I do feel as though he'd be more sulky by himself, rather than with Drew.

Grammar and Formatting:
-"Drew balled his fists, his eyes wandered upon the window as he gazed at the outside world." The comma there should be a period, since those are two separate sentences. There is a way you could rewrite this to include a comma, but it flows better as a period.
-Harley: "Though I made in to the top four in my venture," This was something I noticed a few times, and I can't tell if it's a mistake. If there's nothing after the dialogue, such as "'...in my venture,' he said." then the punctuation should be a period.
-When using ellipses (...) be sure to write out the full "..." otherwise it may come off a an accidental double period.

Conclusion:
-I love this story. It sets a mood and it stays the same throughout the story. It even has this sense of suspense.
- For a story like this, the word count seems perfect, at a little less than 3000 words. It has all the details this story needs- no more, no less.
-There have been a lot of "May/Drew's ghost and/or death" ideas, but somehow, I feel as though this one is one of the best. It feels complete, it's written well, it's easy to read.

CRITICly Anonymous

I personally like happy endings, but this was so emotional! Beautifully written. :') Poor May... no wonder why she was gone. Bittersweet would be a good word to describe this story. :) Cool idea.

contestshipping is never going to happen, if ever May reapper in the anime its going to be without Drew losers, fuck contestshipping