I love it I have not stopped reading since 1 this morning hope you finish it

Holy shit I remember reading this a while ago and I was about to go to sleep but wanted to see if any AOT fics

Oh My Gosh this story had me hooked at the first chapter. you could tell this story was very well thought out (unlike EA's attempt to make devils cartel) each chapter is very well written and all action sequences gets my heart racing and makes me desperate for more. So Thanky you Mercstouch for taking a failed attempt at a sequel and making it so much better. Thank you for making me interested in this game again.

Thanks for the awesome update! I love your characters; they all have such distinct personalities and characteristics! You've done a really good job developing them.
The thing with the bat actually made me laugh out loud )
I'm liking your version of Devil's Cartel a lot more than the original and can't wait for the next chapter! Thanks again for the update and nice work!

By the way instead of saying clips say magazines or mags that's what there actually called now if its an m1 garand you can say clip because it helps load the bullets

Another very nice action packed chapter. I applaud how well you manage all the characters. It's a lot to keep track of. The action moves along at a nice pace and is consistent with the frenetic situation that the team is facing. Salem is a good leader but you get the sense that he's just a bit out of his element. I like how keeps sort of self auditing his skills by reflecting to how Rios might have done it, or if Rios might have scolded him for an action. I get the idea he is realizing just how tied they were and just how different it was to do what they'd done as a duo with men who are in fact operationally strangers. Fiona's presence seems to add to that friction and I had the sense that he's trying very hard to play the middle ground. The tension between Amp and castle and then Amp and Salem is an ominous precursor to future is just no room for that type of behavior on a team. Amp will need to be punished. Nice touch with the All state long jumper memory.
"Well that wasn't so bad." Salem breathed. Very nice line, Salem all the way. It reminds me of when Rios is scolding him during the Miami section of AoT after he lies to Cha Min about Clyde still being alive.
Salem: "Don't worry we'll think of something."
Rios somewhat pitiously: "You always say that and we never do."
He's an eternal optimist. It was a nice touch too that Salem grabbed the board. You describe their hesitancy about going across it very well. Flying a world apart from walking out on a twisty scaffold plank. Then Amp tries to drown Castle! What's this guy thinking? Salem really needs to put a boot in his A** as soon as possible.
P.I. in trouble. That big guy is bad news. Nice little bit of dialogue too just enough but not too much. It lets the reader know that the guys is a very bad man. The shirt is a nice touch as well. It will keep him focused and grounded and hopefully alive.
Hope for more soon. Thanks for posting because it's a damn sight more interesting than the games take on the situation!

AWESOME! This is by far your best chapter yet! So well balanced between action and the emotional back story content. The battle is very well done. The subtextual aspects of these two really starting to come together. It's not a bad thing but the P.I. Castle section out shines the Salem section. The description of the first aid is nice. The skill saw/table saw very cool. oh nice touch that Castle carries a spare shirt fo P.I. very subtle and poignenet in a way. man the table saw I hate table saws so that just scary as h...!

A great chapter filled with well written action. I think the little note explaining the convoys line up worked well to alleviate any confusion. Breaking the paragraph up into short ones subtitled with their identity actually set up a quick, snappy pace for the writing. So no complaints from me. The only issue I might question, or suggest caution for, is the sheer amount of characters you are juggling. That can be confusing for a reader sometimes. Regardless you take on a lot here and manage it all quite well. I applaude your skill at being able to juggle so many different points of action and have it flow so smoothly. I tend to get lost in it.
Wow Salem is back in Mexico that can't make him happy. He's going to have a fit when he meets Fiona. I can't say I miss Alpha and Bravo, good riddance. You do a nice job of interweaving the cannon action from the game with your own work. You strike a comfortable balance between the two. So often you get stories where the dialogue is just written out verbatim but with it mixed and embellished as you've done the story is doing exactly what you were striving for I think. You are creating an alternate storyline to fill in gaps and correct continuity errors and what we all know was just bad storytelling by the writers.
Nice job expressing Salem's terror at once again being trapped in a burning car. Syncing it to his fear of elevators was a great touch. The little scene over the music choices was well done also. The guys teasing Amp and again a taste of cannon dialogue to keep us in touch with the game, his 'girl friend's high school graduation' . Avenged Seven fold. LOL my laptop is actually propped up by and A7X lunchbox so that I can get a WIFI signal from my neighbor! It needs to be even with my kitchen window sill or I have to sit outside.
What else? Amp and Baker fighting...nice touch to set up that little bit of storyline. The barrels not really blowing up like in the movies is funny too. good thing they had grenades.
The dialogue is well written and flows with the never ending high paced action so overall you have another great chapter.

Thanks for posting! Oh a question though, is it just my computer or has the website fixed things so that we can no longer copy and paste from a story to the review box. That used to make it so much easier to pick out and discuss blocks of text. I can't do it anymore.

Great chapter and I was excited to see it! The way you define the scene changes is working very well. The insertion of the break in chapter eight does wonders to clarify what you are getting at. That Rios worries over Salem returning alone to Mexico is a very astute concern textually. Well done. You slide Nala into the fray and she has her say, again a very nice touch. This tale just keeps improving with each chapter. Good job! I love the little glimpses into the guys' rooms. It serves so many purposes. It introduces them, it lets us glimpse their interactions with one another...just a very well done bit of writing. P.I. speaks Russian, Castle has an eye for P.I. wow...you have really given these secondary characters a lease on life; there's all manner of subtext getting laid down here. I need to re read and dissect it. But for now I have to go and walk the dogs. Good job and I hope to post soon. Life's just interupting me too much as of late.

If P.I.'s Russian is coherent maybe tell the writer what it says. That's my only quirk with this chapter.
Thanks for posting see you soon!

Holy hell. First, I'm cool with Chuy and Baker NOT being Alpha and Bravo. You handled that very well. Second, Rios' reaction was perfect. Again, great job pacingbthis out with the emotion. It was good to see Sam!

Salem stole the show. His charisma just leaps off the page for me. Then again, I have the 40th Day voice overs locked in my head. Very good work!

Partner picked! Now they have to meet! Salem's doing a good job being an authority figure. A lot of Rios must have rubbed off on him without him realizing. Good pacing with this story too. I'm feeling suspense after each chapter! Maybe its just me, but I love it.

Again, great work here! The team aspect and pairing ideas work very well. I'm looking forward to seeing who Chuy gets partnered with! Again, grest work! Oh, the chemistry between the interacting characters is very quick and crisp. They all click in conversations and I never get confused with who is speaking.

Rios are spot-on for me. MINOR spelling mistake for 'here'(you wrote hear), but it does not change my view of your writing nor storytelling! Going to chapter 3 now!

FINALLY read Chapter 1. I love it! I have not played Devil's Cartel becsuse I was let down by the lack of progression in Salemnand Rios...and Alice's death kinda threw me off. I enjoyed reading every letter and it held my attention! I don't know if Rios' daughter is canon ir not but she is a great addition to this story I think. I'm going to keep reading for sure!

This is great, love this way better than the game. Please up data soon

hey a great and exciting chapter! i can't wait for the reunion. I don't have wifi for my computer right now so I'll review more later. thanks for updating.