This story is really great! Ya got me hooked to be sure! I don't think you need to revamp the first 7 chapters, I like them. Perhaps however correct things such as spelling and grammar mistakes. Biggest one I can think of is there should be a new paragraph for every new person's dialouge.

Example, Pitch would say something ...

Then Jack follows up ...

Then Pitch again ...

And so on.

That and just using repeated words less and more descriptions and this will be even better! Keep it up fren!

Argh why do all the stories that I like stop just as it’s getting good?

pitch is too OOCC for my tastes.

I like it! **

Yay! Keep being awesome!

I like it a lot!

Good to have you back! Nice return chapter, excited to see where you go with the story. Pitch corrupting Jack's memories is something I never saw before, I like your creativity!

No More? :(

I like it alot! **

LOVE this story can't wait for the nect CHAPTER! i hope you have a GREAT week i just LOVE these kind of stories there always so intresting!

Please continue!

Really frikken awesome! Loved it please update soon.
I like how you brought out the goodish side of Pitch. Please dont make him the badguy, well evil bad in the end. It would be cool to give Jack some dark powers like black snow or nightmares but frozen over and wolves instead of soon.

Loved the story so far and can't wait for more!

This is really good you should keep going

Omg please update soon this is a really sweet book