There was a few issues with grammar and spelling, but no more than what most people have. Also, I agree with the other person who posted a review, about the chunk. Spacing it out is important. It makes it easier to read and keep your place while understanding what is going on.

These two things are relatively easy to fix. I think, for a first story ever written, it is really good. The idea is solid and I can see it going on to be a great story. I hope to see updates soon.

My first though when I clicked on this was that its one huge chunk of text. That usually isn't good. Breaking it up will help make it easier for people to read and keep track of where they are at.

Its best to make a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks, or when theres a huge change of focus

I like the idea of explaining how Semolina came to be, its something that hasn't been explored and you could do alot with this.