Chapter 5 has been revised as of December 15, 2014. May be edited soon due to crucial details left out.

Chapter 5 has been revised as of October 20, 2014. It will be posted.

Much better! And more interesting than the previous versions of chapter two and three. Great job, you're seriously improving, my friend.

You've improved, certainly. This is much more engaging than previously. I am surprised at how well you were able to adapt and change your story under so short a time frame

Chapters 2, 3, and 4 ave been revised as of October 11, 2014. They will be posted.

I think you should delete the old chapters and post the new ones once they're completed since you'd rather do that and so if any new readers to this story can have the better chapters. :)

Keep the old story, until you can report the first six chapters. So people have something to read while they're waiting for the revamp.

A whole do-over? I wonder what'll change :3 Good luck with the revamp.

First of all, I can't stand it. Your gun facts are all wrong. What the heck do you mean be a cartridge? You mean a Mag? A bullet and casing? A stripper clip? Your bullet sizes are also all off. There are no 16mm and 12mm handguns, or 16mm and 12mm bullets! Do you mean how much a magazine can hold? See me in PM for a further explanation.

You seem to be too casual with your subject matter. Reread chapter 2. You side track too much and the story feels awfully clunkey when you do. WHILE he's taking out a zombie, Rigby side tracks in his mind and even goes, "Gah! Nevermind!" Your narration meanders too much and is extremely distracting for what is at hand. Don't write the characters as if they are talking to us, but rather thinking them over in their own minds. "Like I said, it wasn't pretty." That doesn't work.

The narration is not made easy because you don't treat the subject matter seriously enough or don't offer enough explanations for what is going on. Especially in this last parts of this chapter. You explained what was going on more with sounds than with actual descriptions. "(with dried blood I might add)" instead of actually writing the dried blood on the door. Parenthesis rarely work.

The hard part about first person is that it is very difficult for dynamic storytelling. You need to be more open with visual, active verbs to flow with the action. Some chapters the conflicts with zombies are very brief or do not have any suspense. "Not the best place to try and end a zombie," which is an awkward line considering it is WHILE a zombie is on top of a Mordecai. Your paragraphs should be non existent during scenes of suspense and tension: one or two lines at best. They need to have less meandering and less character input (not that you should get rid of all of it, just lessen it). Sometimes just actions on their own are enough to give us an idea what a character is thinking.

But with characters in first person, there can also be more intimacy with their thoughts. "I had no idea what to do. I heard footsteps running down the stairs, so I did the only thing I could do- RUN." could be re-written, "The world fazed around me, blurring beyond comprehension. As I scrambled away from the monster at my feet, I heard the faint, distant sound of feet pattering on the steps. Confused and terrified, with the pain from my stomach sending shockwaves up my spine, I struggled to figure out what I needed to do. I couldn't think, but something inside screamed at me: Run."
Adding more descriptive verbs and a sense of desperation from the character adds tension and excitement. You need to find a happy medium for when you want to have long, drawn out sentences and descriptions or when to keep them short and fast paced.

Eileen seems a little OOC, but that's ok. I can't really give an opinion on Aaron, but just be careful you don't have too much of Aaron, as in so much that it overshadows the other characters.

Your story is not bad, far from it. There is just so much that needs to be improved upon. You are writing a zombie apocalypse story, which nowadays, there a lot of. Hell, even I have a zombie apocalypse story. This makes it difficult because you have to add in something that makes it unique/different from everyone else's (even different from other movies, TV shows, and video games). There needs to be something, either the setting, an event, an idea, or a theme that makes your story stand out. Mine is an endless winter and Rigby's isolation while RSM's is Mordo/Rigby romance intertwined with a kid they have to look after in a dysfunctional group. That is something you need to figure out for yourself.

I hope you will consider my suggestions to help improve your story.

Also, be careful whenever you add Author's notes IN THE MIDDLE of the story. I used to do that on my main story, but it becomes WAY too distracting and severely breaks up the action.
And yes... the reference is Zombieland.

Woah...another great chapter. So much epic. Please update soon.

Aw yeah! I hope they find Mordecai. Awesome chapter!

Close call. :o New chapter soon.

I was worried Mordecai has gotten bitten for a second then was relieved. I hope he sees Rigby again. Great chapter!

This is a great story so far and I love it!

Ha! I never even looked at this story because I thought it was abandoned. I wonder if Rigby and Mordecai will ever meet? I guess I'll see in the next chapter my friend.