So sweet, I love it

Might come back to read this more thoroughly, but now that I've noticed, Miyuki always uses "-san" at the end of others' names (barring Minami), and only Tsukasa calls Konata "Kona-chan."

Holy crap. I've read some sad, yet heartwarming fanfictions before (especially Lucky Star ones), but THIS, oh my god. This. Chapter. SCARED me! On hearing that Konata died, I was just about ready to sob! But how thankful I was when it turned out she was okay. Throughout the story, I kept getting scared that she was gonna REALLY die . Overall, this story (so far) is really well-written, and I like it! Keep up the good work! :-)

Well this story is something else. I had read it last night but wasn't able to review so I might as well leave one bright and early before I get on with my day.

The first chapter felt...rushed. While I understand that Kagami is depicted as a tsundere your writing of her reaction was extremely exaggerated. I also don't buy that Kagami would ever even conceive that she is a "waste of space". Sure it is shown in canon that she has some insecurities, such as her weight, but it isn't so bad that she is being manic depressive about it. I'm not saying that Kagami isn't capable of lashing out at Konata in frustration but something like that needs to be developed. Even someone like Kagami will only lash out when they have had the last straw and, to me, her outburst premature. There needed to have been some time for the characters to develop tension. Have Konata be more annoying than usual, teasing Kagami harsher than normal. Really get into Kagami's head and do your best to express her conflicted thoughts. She hates it when Konata teases her endlessly whether it is her pigtails, weight or her tsun attitude, but at the same time still isn't able to figure out why she loves her otaku friend.

All of this serves to build tension between the two characters so that, after a chapter or two, you can build up to the climax, which is Kagami's outburst. As I said I'm not disagreeing with the fact that Kagami could blow up on Konata. But it was something that needed to have been done late in the second or third chapter (could have made a good cliffhanger) not on the third paragraph of the first chapter of your story.

While I'm not the biggest fan of a emotionally weak Konata it is and interpretation of her character that I can accept. The attempted suicide may have been over the top but I don't disagree with it. My problem with Konata's suicide is the same I have with Kagami's outburst. It was done way too soon. Again there needed to have been more character development between Kagami and Konata. Heck you could have had a sort of dual POV where you could properly express Konata's thoughts as well as Kagami's. Get into the otaku's head. Really try to express her thoughts and insecurities. Perhaps she teases Kagami to get her attention despite the fact that she knows it makes Kagami upset at her. That Konata feels angry at herself for being too cowardly to come out and show her true feelings to the tsundere and can only express them in the form of teasing. Continue with her train of thought as it gets more and more depressive and, by the time we get to the outburst, we'll actually cringe because we would have all seen it coming through the tension building up. This suspense is what keeps readers sticking by your story.

I have a hard time seeing the Hiiragi family not all together during Christmas but whatever. It's fine if you write them out considering they are not relevant to the story anyway.

Chapters 2 and 3 were actually really enjoyable to read. You expressed the the girls' mannerisms and character well in these chapters. I especially like your Tsukasa. She seems to be so embarrassed by any sort of compromising situation. You wrote her pretty well and enjoyed her interactions with both Konata and Miyuki. I was actually surprised that Konata had asked Tsukasa to take a bath with her and how hesitant she was. I was surprised that Kagami didn't act more jealous but considering that she adores her little sister I can understand why didn't mind much.

Kagami's misunderstanding with the whole drunken thing was funny thinking that both she and Tsukasa "did it" lol.

There is a small bit of concern considering Konata's sickness and how it is going to play out in the last chapter of this story. It was endearing that Kagami would want to read manga to Konata, kind of like a mother reads a book to a child.

To be honest I feel that the first chapter of the story doesn't even belong with the second and third chapters. I'm almost tempted for you to just hack the first chapter and just concentrate on the fluff and growing emotions between the girls in the second and third chapters. There is a way to build character affection with each other without them having to kill themselves over it (literally). The quality of content from chapters two and three are much better than the first and it tells me that you were more within your element when writing the later chapters.

I just feel that chapter one doesn't simply belong. Everything that happened in chapter one needed two or three chapters of development and even then you can't just go complete fluff after the fact. Konata has just almost committed suicide. Kagami went through an extremely taxing psychological ordeal. There would have been considerable fallout after the Konata's attempted suicide. As much as you probably wouldn't want to write them the Hiiragi parents (Tadao and Miki) as well as Konata's father (Sojiro) would all have needed to have gotten involved in the story. There would have been pressing issues concerning Konata's sanity and Kagami's state of mind too. Overall it would have made a very depressing story. Sure you could give it a happy ending but there would have been hell and highwater to go through first. Suicide isn't something anyone can just shrug off nor is the effect it has on the person's loved ones.

I feel that the fluff was completely out of place after the trauma both Kagami and Konata went through hence why I felt chapter one is simply doesn't belong. You need to make a choice. Is this going to be a fluffy story or is this going to deal with the ramifications of an attempted suicide? When someone goes through suicide EVERYONE is involved and thus, writing out both Konata and Kagami's parents simply isn't going to fly.

Overall chapters two and three were wonderful chapters to read with alot of fluff and cute interactions between the characters. Chapter one is, honestly, belongs in another story.

If you insist of writing a story where Konata tries to commit suicide and have Kagami and everyone else deal with the fallout then considerable research is needed on your part. If I may make a suggestion you could send Bloodscropion4ever a message in how to write a story like this. He's really good in writing the Lucky Star characters in difficult situations like this.

Again great job on chapters two and three. I apologize in advance if my review came out harsh but, in the end, I truly hope that it helps. Take care and good luck writing your next chapter.

You update the story just to announce your website!? Damn I was getting excited to read a new chapter!

That preview has me scared...

continuation!

This was great. I loved the alternate take you took on it. Thank you for a good read and of course if you want to continue it you are more than welcome to.

Damn it that was great, *tears up*