Hahahah nice!

*chokes on fluff*

This was cute. :) Just be sure to check for capitalisation at the start of sentences when a character is talking.

For example, in the following paragraph;

He chuckled, "did you think I was going to eat the poor diner out of business? Because I would've."

You you used a lowercase 'd' instead of a capital 'd'. Remember, it's still the start of a sentence. Also, try to refrain from beginning a sentence with 'because'.

Otherwise, everything was great! I loved it. :) Great job.

-CL

Ahh I loved it. It was fantastic B)