| Reviews for Elsword One-Shots |
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Albertrojas chapter 2 . 11/30/2013 Yes! An EMxLK pairing! Thank you! And your story is great! Hope you keep this up! |
Rinkushido chapter 1 . 11/16/2013 Welcome! Good to see another author here! You have a great idea in mind, and you write with no grammar errors! Only some new authors are like that. I only have one concern, and I hope that this doesn't offend you. You have such a great idea, and you're skilled in writing, but I feel like I needed more from you. There is a rule all authors should follow in order to make a great story: Show, don't tell. You're just telling us what happened, not showing the pain Aisha had, or the feeling in Elsword's chest after being kissed, or even the events that happened between the fight with King Nasod. You have to show us what you have in mind, and do it with detail. It makes the story longer, but it excites us more. Also, you cut dialogue when someone else is speaking, example: Allegro had returned, with a plethora of potions. He sent Elsword out, to start healing Aisha. He sat by the tent, pondering about what just happened. 'What could've happened to her? Is she gonna be alright?' Suddenly, he heard a Aisha cough, and he rushed back into the tent. She was now sitting up, and her wound vanished like magic. She smiled at Elsword, and he smiled back. 'Thank goodness she's safe...' Allegro left the two alone, knowing what would happen next. Elsword wondered if she remembered what she did a while ago, so he decided to ask her. "Hey, Aisha?" he asked. "Did you-" Aisha knew what he was going to ask. She walked up to him, and gave him a sweet kiss, her soft lips on his. Elsword was shocked, but he finally gave in and kissed her back. They didn't stop until Aisha needed breath. She chuckled. "Does that answer your question?" she suggested. Elsword didn't reply. He smiled before hugging her and giving her another blissful kiss. It was the happiest day of their lives. Note that since there's no copy-paste with fanfics anymore, I had to type everything from scratch. Also, I used apostrophes for thoughts cuz I can't use italics here. All in all, your story was amazing. If you need any help, just ask me. Thank you and good luck! :) |
Starlovers chapter 1 . 11/16/2013 Awww that was really sweet! Please make more of Elsword x Aisha! Peace Out |