Ur english is fucked up...
U realy need a beta

Good premis. Details could use somw work though. For example, I highly doubt Hogsmeade, which we are led to believe is small, could have a city landscape seen from a ferris wheel. Keep writing though and I hope to see more writing as you grow as a writer.

I hate Ginny Weasley

I hate Ginny Weasley, and her possessive attitude so much, I hope she ends up dead.

warm and bubbley...Daphne Greengrass...?

They are magicals... just use your wand and unlock the door.

To be blunt, your writing skills literally sucks, I am guessing english is not your first language, I only lasted till third chapter, coz the plot looked interesting.

You keep on mentioning that harry is cold, well he is NOT, you cant just keep on writing he is cold in hopes to make readers believe he is, show this by his actions, like not replying, ignoring the world around him...

Secondly weasley, similarly to the coldness, you can show jealousy by actions you dont have to point out everything, some things should be unsaid, so readers have to use their own imagination, thats how you hook readers up...
Anyway, goodluck, hope to se eyou working on these points

Hadrian doesn't seem that icy at all?

i like your story please update NOw! PLEASE Iknow you are almost done you problem in internet connection please update dis story

This is a great story that I would love to read but you really need to go over your spelling and sentence structure errors.

OK, this could have been a good story, but trying to get through the bad sentence structure is a bit too much. Run-on sentences, wrong tenses, child-like speech, etc. Please do yourself, and us, a big favor...get a BETA! Good luck.

it looks like it could be a good story but its got some issues with grammar, word usage and because of it bad sentence structure, you need someone to go over it because it really does make it really hard to read but the idea behind the story is good you just need a beta.

great story, really like how this is turning out, i already read the whole 7 chapters and i like them very much, cant wait to read the next one

oi! it's good! however, there are quite a few mistakes, if you like, i can fix them for you, though i'm not a beta yet!

Your story has potential but stop using text writing patterns. The word coz isn't a word. Is because or cause. Use the word them instead of em. If u inyend to write use the english language properly or don't write at all.