Read this after Black Continent. I have to say it's beautifuly written.

OH MY CHERRY BLOSSOMS! I LOVD EVERYTHING HERE!

It's amazing detailed & just memorizing. Aelita handles it all like the warrior princess she is & will always be. XANA caused all this & she with help or not will finally end it's genocide. Ulrich getting picked by that helicopter he didn't see Aelita in the water. What an asshole. If Aelita finds anyone of their still alive PURRLEASE LET BE HER ODD! They need to survive this together.

This must be the fifth time I've read this story. It's just so intense and detailed, and brings a new side of Aelita's personality out. You did a fantastic job.

In response to Muffins... :)

The story is a jumble of memorable, unfortunate moments through a year or so of Aelita's life in this mess. To be fair, if you were in her naive shoes and experienced everything she has, its gonna feel like your life is just slipping past with no idea of the time. Lots of days of nothing happening will go by, and then a bunch of freak/scary/deadly things can happen in one day. Your mind is designed by nature to remember bad experiences much moreso than good, hence Aelita's retelling of lots of bad, bad things burned into her memory.

And as for the gang... That's up to you. ;) If a group of petty criminal thugs walked into platoon of trained soldiers sent to figure out what's going on upstairs... What do you think probably happened? Aelita wanted to get away from those guys as soon as possible, so she jumped ship and ran like hell when the super slim chance arose.

Thanks for the review anywho. :) Glad to see this story is getting some love!

SMPG394

Ummm... Wow... This was certainly... overwhelming? Excuse my overused meme but, that escalated quickly.

You did a beautiful job with this story, and it was affectively horrifying. Your writing was clear and expressive, and your ability to set up a situation... wow...

My only bits of criticism are:
1) You need to slow down a bit. I swear after reading this it feels like I just drank 50 cups of coffee and I think I'm going to cry at all the adrenaline. I swear, it's not good for your readers' hearts to have so many well written action/horror scenes in a row x)
2) What happened with the gang? The direction you were going in with the gang was magnificent, but then it was just dropped like it never happened and Aelita didn't gain anything from it (except a gun, but that was kind of inevitable seeing as she would eventually need one to survive).

I feel very excited to read Black Continent. I hope it's just as good as this story :)