I think that this is a wonderful story! You should write more becuase I really enjoyed reading this. The plot is so original and, just keep up the great work! And it is that, great work.

It's a shame that you haven't updated any of your stories in a year. But I think this story is the best thing since sliced bread. Apart from all the drama you experience in receiving reviews, I do think this story (and 'The Perfect Blue') has a lot of potential.
I must say I was entertained by the reviews, they were a story in itself. But that's not what I am reviewing about.
I'm reviewing to say, no beg, that you update at least one of your stories. It's heartbreaking to leave them like this...

Great Fic! Please update, cuz I can no longer take the suspense!

Right... Aside from the strange reviews you get from other people reading the story and apparently people you know.. This is good so far. I like where this is going and you do seem to be a good writer.

I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Shigasu

hey! It's about time u made a new chappy. oh i can't wait to see what happens next! so excited. oh and even though u probebley don't give a shit but i just have to tell this to someone! i was online and my friend told me about this websight that she found and i went there and then the next thing i know i see something saying ICONS. and i've been trying to make an icon but it didn't work so i was all like dude i could just download one duh! so i did and it like worked and stuff. so then i'm all like hey i could do a search on tarepanda icons! so i did and i found them and then i also found these cursors. so i thought he i could get a cursor! so i got these hella tight cursors thier like animeated so they move and stuff and they are just sooooo cute! sorry i just had to get that out cause i'm like still way to excited about it and stuff. oh and u knwo that i love your story so i meen theres nothing else i can say right except for u to update more often and ya. hey next time i reveiw i'll put a joke in. see ya next time on THE THING!

First let me clarify something. I am not "meanie" This will be the second time that I have ever reviewed a story. Usually I find them too juvenile, really atrocious, or so badly written that I don't make it past the first paragraph. I thought this story had something to it , so I stuck with it. If you the authir, or any of your readers choose or need to believe that I am "meanie", then thats okay. I was offering a sincere constructive opinion. Words can be a powerful tool if used correctly. I am still of the opinion that an English teacher or an older individual could be of some help. Preferably someone you trust and respect, who will bw honest with you. Poetic license or "word manipulation" as you chose to call it can only go so far. Yes, you can write any way you want to. Your story is good, but it could be so much better. Well I'm done. Good luck to you. PS

To the reviewr who seemed to put so much significance inot where my review turned up, I paid more attention to where I posted it. I hope this meets with your approval (sarcastic remark) Is someone disagrees or criticises an opinion that I have made, Believe me , I DO NOT need to pretend to be soneone else in order to soften or back down from what I have said. I challenge you to have this story critiqued, by someone who kbows what they are doing. Lets see who is the coward.

Whoa... v.j that was very interesting cutey! I shit you guys not, V looks across between Vegeta, and 17 Ahhhh! OMG! THe best of both WORLDS! AHHHH! Such a little cutey pie... he is a little short for aguy though, anyway,yeah I know v personally, he's my best friend! we've been through a lot together. He is not a kid, but I will not reveal his age that's his choice, but he ain't in elementrary or junior high school okay. Now v.j look below: That's meanie in using another FAKE NAME! Look, at the chapters, why would a person just passing by who read chapter 5 and is supposed to review chapter five, reviews on chapter 2! She's bullshitting Man!I know you noticed it too, if not yet you will! she already used up three spots before 45, and I think3

Nobody agrees with her so agian she takes the gutless way out! SHAME ON YOU COWARD! She was so embarrassed by your review she had to calm her demeanor and pretend to be someone she couldn't say anything else, you blew her out of the water! LOOK EVERYONE MEANIE TOOK THE COWARDS WAY OUT AGAIN! You are horrible, you don't just pass by and review the wrong chapter, chapter 2 had nothing to do what was written on chapter five, she must have known it wouldn't have gone through because she already reviewed that chapter, so she went to one that wasn't used to defend her own persona, that is so pathetic!

Now, he makes you look pathetic because you've been caught you make it obvius in your frustrate yet calm review. How could someone just review only defend the reviewr not the writter at any level, it obvious BULL SHIT!

Sorry v I know you don't like it when reviewers respond to other reviwers but she made this public, and her words all be it calm still have the same bite, she even had the gall to reinvent her statements, STUPID! Why don't you just give up already jackass! Really v think about it she was way too persistant to just back off..this is PATHETIC! I'm so angry I know this is going to be sloppy buttttt OOOOOooooOOOOoooOOOoooOooOo that gets my goat!

I don't think what he has written so far warranted such an attack, you act like he written this just for you, get a life really, you are terrible! NICE TRY RETARD!

He already has enough on his shoulders and doesn't need to be pressured here. He Is Going To Be Pissed That I Mentioned this but... he is picked on by everyone in his family; they use him like apunching bag, his father chose him to be his favorite. Which made the others angry, because they were being abused; but he was also being abused, mentally and physically. He must be exhausted. So, not only his father but his brothers and sisters took a crack at him. He is often called such names as stupid, not physically now that he's older as in STRONG he can defend his self that way,anyway because his family made a name for themselves and they throw that at him all the time, constantly making him feel inferior, and he won't say nothing about it!

He knows what he's talking about his points are persasuave ( how ever you spell it!)he doesn't mention it because he dosen't brag, or boast about his achievments he has an average of 2.9- 3.1 he gets good grades for someone who works and goes to nights school and I seen the report carrd theee which is 3.6. He also doesn't want pity either he doesn't want to act like he's a knows-it-all like YOU! I'm not like him if he won't tell you off I WILL! STOP The hating, you know you're just jealous because he can write better then you! I must admit he has a unique style, and it's not so common. also it was me who told him to defend himself; A writer has got to defend his work at all cost. So What some of it is confusing, but he says he's speaking from his mind. Who am i to argue! he writes better then yeah it makes sense to him, but not everyone on the planet! That Is WHY WE CALL IT A WRITER VIEWPOINT! His words may not make sense to YOU, but they do to most of the readers!

Grow up, and have the balls to leave your real name spineless twerp, you are ashamed because you looked pathetic so you hide behind another LIE! V you should remove the anonymous reviews. I may not be able to review anymore since I'm not awriter here, but at least you will get a chance to "communicate" without barriers...But knowing you, you will leave everything the way it is...you are a gluten for punishment I ever tell you that... You keep doing your best, and try not to let yourself get pressuredlike this... oh it's so annoying, it makes me so angry that people are so stupid. This is his story LET HIM WRITE WHAT HE WANTS! THERE ARE NO COMPLAINTS ON THE STORY ITSELF! SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND READ WITHOUT BEING A HATER!

I read your story, and I read the review by "meanie". He or she may have been blunt and a little harsh but some points have merit. To have a large vocabulary is wonderful, however knowing how to use that cocabulary is much better. You mixed metaphors, used the wrong form of some words, and interchange word meanings where the can not ne interchanged. I think you were trying to get the reader to visualize what was happening, by using descriptive words, but you really need to be careful. Some words just DO NOT

go together! I am not attacking you, or your writing style. This is just a fact. Maybe you could take a rough draft of your story to an English teacher, and he or she can help you out.

Your stringing together words that don't go together, and that mean what you are trying to put forward in your story, hurts your story.

Whoa.. Talk about issues! lol.

Anyway, hi. This is a very interesting fic. I hope you continue this. I'll be waiting for more.

I've already reviewed this chapter{actually all chapters lol}, so I had to sign-in anonymously.

This is directed to Meanie...

You are intilted to your opinion. Why take the coward's way? Sign-in, or are you afraid someone would check your BIO. Perhaps read some of your work. Discover that you are not perfect. Perhaps there are errors in your stories. Are you afraid someone would review your work as unfavorablly as you have VJ's. No one's perfect...well except Vegeta...unfortunatly he's not real. If you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen. Put up or shut-up. I would like to know if I have read any of your work.

Futhermore, if you are going to review and try to impress us with your "INTELLIGENCE" please SPELL CHECK, it's annoying. If you are going to take the time to criticize, at least spell correctly.

Please get on with your life. I'm sure their is someone else you could irritate with your cowardly reviews. It really irritates me that you chose to remain unknown. Have some GUTS...you started this.

Waiting...

Damned button... Hate that thing, any way, read futher in on your little defence. THE REASON I SAID ALL THAT WAS BECUASE I UNDERSTOOD THEM AND KNEW THEY DID NOT GO TOGETHER! SENTENCES CAN'T BE REWRITTEN USING SYNONYMS, Not in many, not in most cases can you. DONT FED ME THAT LINE OF CRAP, and I too write from my mind, not paper. SO DON'T TRY THAT EITHER! I KNOW THE TYPE YOU ARE, IT SHOWS IN HOW YOU RESPOND TO THINGS. YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT YOU WERE WRONG, SO TO TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF YOU, YOU TRIED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME. WELL IT AINT GUNNA WORK, MR "I know lots of english, but not how to use it!" YOUR SENTENCE STRUCUTRE IS AS WEAK AS THEY GET, YOUR VOCABULARY NEEDS A TUNE UP, YOUR GRAMMER SUCKS, AND JUST KNOWING OF A WORD MEANS NOTHING; YOU MUST ALSO KNOW HOW TO USE IT A SENTENCE. SO SHUVB THE CRAP, AND LISTEN UP "Sunny Boy." How old are you? No older than 12 I suspect. Your thinking ahead and using the dictionary,thesaurus, ect. is good, but know this: The thesaurus can't tell you where and where not to use the words, so DON'T hide behind the use of one! NOW IF YOUR GOING TO WRITE, MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! GO TO YOU PARENTS, OR SOMETHIG LITTLE BOY (Or girl... whatever), AND LEARN HOW TO PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER USING THE MORE ADVANCED AND SPECIFIC TERMS! READ YOUR SENTENCES, MAKE SURE YOU DON'T CHANGE THINGS MID DENTENCE (I.e., tense, charactor possition, actions already taken, ect.)

YOUR PROBUBLY GOING TO READ THIS AND DENY IT, BUT JUST THINK ABOUT THE LITERALL MEANING OF YOUR WORDS, SIMPLFY THE TEXT, READ IT, IF IT MAKES SINCE, KEEP IT, BUT YOU WILL FIND, THAT IT DOES NOT! All I really have to say about your horrible use of english. Take note, I think you have great potential, but must use the ENGLISH LAUNGUAGE CORRECTLY. And no, I don't take plesure in putting people down, but when you ask my opinion, DONT complain when its negative!

New name. Now, I understand what your saying here, but you miss interepereted my meaning towards you. An English major (Degree in) friend of mine had a field day reading this, but back to the point you used that thesourous wrong. You cannot sentry someone (as in gaurd) as you have said. They are synonyms to a point, and don't think I don't know what a thesuras is. Synonyms don't always replace their counterpart in every sentence.

"it was evident that the animal was indeed inert. It laid frozen on the ground jerking lifelessly with muscular spasms, pre-syndromes of rigor mortise as its decomposing, putrefaction body became rigid; the nerves still shuddered not knowing its body was dead."

This was a direct qoute. IF ITS BLOODY INERT IT ISN'T GOING TO TWITCH AND SPASM! AND TO DECOMPOSE IT TAKES TIME, ESPECIALLY IN THE COLD WHERE BACTERIA ARE IN LOW COUNTS!

There are other huge mistakes... Such as:

"the absorbing structure of slime marinated into the snow, staining it a faded red."

To marinate means (Quoted from an official dictionary:

To pickle in brine

To seep (Meat, Fish, ect) in a marinade

Curde qoute, but it suits here: "Wheres the beef?" You can't marinade snow with saliva. Just another one. Now lets move on to your run on-oxymoron sentences.

OH WAIT, just remembered your big problem: It went after his throught "Gee thanks vegeta, it almost ripped out my lungs." Lungs in throat (laranx, windpipe)? Hows that work anyway. Back to those oxymorons:

(Chapter 2) "he fell to the ground limply and liflessly. his blood saturated (Which was misuused), slipping down down his opened smoking mouth, the gun in his limp lifless hand still gripped tightly"

IF ITS LIMP AND LIFLESS THAT MEANS THAT THE MUSCLES HAVE COMPLETLEY ReLAXED, MEANING HE CANT CLUTCH THE GUN! HOW CAN HE GRIP WITH A LIMP LIFLESS HAND! OXYMORORN!

By the way, though the Sentry gaurds the house, the gaurd does not Sentry the house. get it? YOU CAN'T EXPECT A THESAURUS TO TELL YOU IF THE WORD IS MISSUSED! LISTEN CLOSELY: The more complex a word is in meaning, the more specific it becomes, meaning in some places where its synonym would fit, this word could not. Get it? Didn't thiks so... So on with your mistakes (random order). Any by the way, You have at least five to ten mistakes per page...

(Chapter 2) " ferociously it hovered above bardocs juicy tendorized Decolletage"

What about his dress? Thats what the word Decolletage means, that and the top of some flowers... Yeah.

(Chapter 3)

okay, now i'm pissed...stupid meanie reviewer. No WONDER why that guy want a "lesser vocabulary"...the greatest word in HIS vocabulary maybe consisted of 10 letters...and the spelling! OMG, can we say go back to kindergarte! Please, it's one thing if you are going to "critique" an author but at least have the audacity to know how to spell INTELLIGENT...HELLO! it's spelled with an "I" not another "E"! my god, and people wonder why men like george bush jr can get into office...

anywho, did it ever occur to you that oxymorons are PART OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! uhh...english class ring a bell? you know, with oxymorons, personifications, alliterations, hyperboles, etcetera, etcetera...or maybe those words are to big for you too

well, if the words in this AMAZING STORY are to friggin big for you, you might want to start considering a career in McDonald's because I GUARENTEE you will not get into a nice college with a resume type with grammatical errors such as yours! Let ALONE A GOOD JOB.

Gah, you complain about being an ignoramus WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL IT! that's one big DUH right there!

::sighs::

if this fic IS removed from , you can find it on Adimra's website:

adimra.

man...now i'm pissed...grrrrrr stupid people

you know, there are a few words in this story that i didn't know, but you know what I did? I went and INCREASED MY INTELLIGENCE AND LOOKED THE WORDS UP IN A DICTIONARY! that's right, bitchy reviewer, do you have the two brain cells to say that? DICTIONARY! and by looking up the words, I have increased my vocabulary, thus increasing my learning abilities, increasing my english grade, increasing my SAT score in the verbal section, etc., etc.

::sighs again::

i'm aggitated now...i need to look at my magazine with elijah wood on the cover to cheer me up ::drool:: lol

man, there's a reason why stupid people should not be allowed to spawn stupider children...

ok! i do not know what kind of shit people have bean writing to u and i am really sorry that people are doing that (i kind of was to lazy to read this whole thing _

First off...Please don't remove this story from FF. I know I saw it somewhere else...but I don't remember where.

Your style of writing is staggering{that's wonderful if the meanie reviewer is reading}. It's really nice to a read a story you actually have to **READ**, not just be able to skim though and get the content. With your story, one must think while they read, otherwise you might miss a crucial point. The way you write and the words you choose draws the reader into the depths, of the story.

I agreed 100% with you on the fact that's is hard to write a story and place it before the world. I wrote one just for the purpose of thanking Authors for their time and efforts. However, I am an avid reader...not a writer.

When I saw that you had updated, I was exicited! Than I saw it wasn't an update after all, instead it was a notice of defense. I had to go see what you were defending against. I was amazed...one minute praising your work, then the next basiclly saying it sucked. I was apalled at the audacity of this reviewer. I was going to e-mail this person in your defense. But, I discovered the reviewer took the cowards way out by leaving a fake name and e-mail. If you have something to say at least be able to back it up{that really pissed me off}.

Even though it wasn't a chapter update, I still enjoyed reading this **defense**. Even though you have nothing to defend. If a reader likes your work then good for them. If they don't like you work...who really cares, read something else. It's good that you write for your own enjoyment.{those are usually the best Authors}

Anyway...looks like I got carried away. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway...I LIKE THIS STORY JUST THE WAY YOU WRITE IT. Untill next update.

Waiting...