This was really cute and very well written. I enjoyed it immensely.

Yes so this is the first Corpse Bride fan fiction I've read and I must say it did not disappoint! You captured Victor and Victoria PERFECTLY! I have never once read a fan fiction that captured the characters so well! You had a great understanding of content in which you were writing! You captured the writting style and the voice of the characters amazingly well! Honestly I hope you continue to write this!

Innuendo! Oh my! The impropriety! LOL

No more Firsts? I'd love to read more!

So CUTE!

You worry about offenses too much. This story is sweet and I'm pretty sure you mean no offense to anyone ever.

Oh, Dearest! Men never become less ridiculous. They are men after all. We just become more prone to falling in love and love is blind.

Love this story so far, and i totally think its earned FAVORITE status.

This totally makes me sad this doesn't continue chronologically.

The impropriety! I love that word. LOL I'm so weird.

*giggles madly* No, there's definitely not a thing as too much fluff. I'm a sucker for dancing scenes, and this was great, from Victor having to confess he's only danced with his instructor and his mother to them playing at being strangers at a ball to Victor deciding that now's the perfect moment for a tete-a-tete. XD

I certainly don't. It's nice to see something from their kid! And I'm glad that my hypothesis was partly wrong - not deaf, just mute. Still sad for Edgar, but hey. Poor kid - losing a pet is never easy. Even when you have a father who knows exactly what you're going through. I liked the bit about Victor eating the broccoli now that Emily-the-dog isn't around to do so. And Emily Stroud is just adorable - a bundle of red-haired energy. Though I see this kid has received yet another alternate name. *patpats him* One day, people will call you what you want to be called. Anyway, it's good to see he grows up well, in what must be a very loving and caring home, and that he can always find a sweet-natured, if perhaps a little too friendly, Emily in his life.

In response to your question at the end of chapter 3, just hope that the guy you fancy has a younger sibling or two, if not they'll stay silly well into their twenties. Great writing, and you're not the only one having trouble picturing Victor unshaven.

I'm actually a bit torn in their little debate - while I myself don't mind Franklin Van Dort, I also think that if Victoria wanted to call their baby Frank, she should have suggested "Frank" or "Franklin" as his FIRST name. And yes, I too am having trouble picturing an unshaven Victor. He just doesn't seem like he SHOULD have facial hair. *shrug*

Very interesting little story - I commend you on being one of the few, the proud, the brave to give the Van Dorts a son! Almost everyone gives them a girl first (probably because of the whole 'want to honor Emily' business), and it's nice to see something different. Also nice to see that Victor, despite his desire for a girl, is only too happy to love as son just as much. Poor Victoria, getting herself all worked up over nothing. . . The parental visit was spot-on difficult - although Maudeline actually having it out with Nell? Not something I expected (though it was quite funny). Victoria putting Maudeline in her place was good too. :P As was Finis reciting his lines, and nearly forgetting a few of them.

I will, however, confess to sharing the new parents' worry over Edgar being so quiet. Hopefully future chapters will explain!

I must say, even through the veil of inexperience, your descriptions of desire in this chapter were lovely (and very accurate). :) I agree with what nearly everyone else has said here - the characters ring very true, though they are a little shy with each other given the circumstances. And again, the dialogue is a bit old-fashioned and flowery given what we saw in the movie, but it's not really that distracting. This was a lovely addition to the collection of newlywed tales in the section. I can see myself coming back to read this again when I need to feel warm and happy.

I must first start out by saying that this was an absolutely adorable Corpse Bride story I've read in a LONG time! It is well written and the characterization for Victor and Victoria was perfect! And I think the speaking within this chapter sounded just fine, it wasn't awkward or anything, it really fit the speech pattern of the two (If that makes ANY since XD) I can not get over how well this is written! I can read it over and over again! The the description, and "events" ,so to speak, that lead up to it, was fantastic! Especially Victoria's thoughts revolving around it and Victor's shyness w

And thay ENDING! XD

"Needless to say, Maudeline had been quite incorrect as regards to frequency.

Victor, it turned out, was rather energetic after all."

I sat there with my mouth wide open like... wow XD I just lived it lol XD

I hope some of this was helpful to you, this is my first real "crits" I guess you'd say!

Please write more Victor and Victoria stories w You've got a great talent!

Usually I am very disappointed when I read Corpse Bride fanfics, especially because they are so rare and the good ones are difficult to find. But I have to say that this is hands down the best Corpse Bride fan fiction I have ever read. It is so well-written! You are an amazing writer! I also like the plot and the characterization is spot-on. It seems totally believable - I can't imagine a better post-wedding story for Victor and Victoria. They act and move the way they do in the film, which is great. Amazing how you were able to capture them as characters. I love this story so much! I could read it over and over and still love it every time. Also, that ending is adorable.. "Victor was quite energetic after all." HAHA!

My one concern is that they seemed a little TOO shy. Remember, Victoria is not just some regular 18 year old girl who has just met a guy, and Victor is not just some regular guy who's just been forced to marry some girl. They do know each other a little - they did go through an ordeal in getting rid of the obstacles that prevented them from being together (Emily, Barkis, etc.). And during the movie, both characters professed their love for one another, which would make them just a little bit less shy than you portrayed them to be.

Other than that, your story is perfect! You are a brilliant writer and I can't wait to read more of your work. Hopefully more Corpse Bride stuff? :) This really is the best I've read, and I doubt I'll come across another fanfic as good as this one.