awaaaaaaaa I actually loved this!

The story was okay with a couple of grammatical errors, but nothing too jarring.

I don't know if you know this particularly, but with the way it's framed in the story, it seems as though the information about the hymen is incorrect. For future reference: the hymen does not necessarily break from sex; many people still have an intact hymen, even after having sex. Other people, who have not had sex, can also possibly have a broken hymen, such as due to intensive exercise (which seems like a more likely cause for Cindy).

Anyway. Sorry for the science lesson. Keep writing!

Haha. Good.

Cool but make chapter 2

Story-wise, it was okay. Interesting enough that I had read through the whole thing. A bit of proof reading would do this story well. There were quite a few that were glaring and it made it hard for me to enjoy your story. Nonetheless, great job on the story. :)

are they dating?

I agree good story and you should so add more :)

Great story! More?

Very nice, not too smutty which is great. Overall well written and just the right amount of steam.

That was so hot! Great story!