“Hiatus for some time.”

~Four years later~

Nope.

Ha Hiatus for SOME time I don’t think that means 4 years

is this abondened?

great story. keep writing. update soon. I can't wait to read more! This is getting interesting.

solid start but in future needs longer chapters

omg interesting plot

Hmm. first of all, there is an inconsistency in your story that is very distracting. After the timeskip, the scene change part said it's been three months but the narration soon after said it's been ten months.

Also, this might be just me but the conversations sometimes felt fast but again, that might just be me.

I'll be keeping track of this story. I'll do what I can as far as constructive criticism goes.

great chapter can wait till next one

great story. keep writing. update soon. I can't wait to read more! This is getting interesting.

Good start.

i like it i love Rayshipping Ash/Cynthia plz make a lemon

I like the story but I think it's moving a bit to fast fell free to take your time, sometimes the little details are the ones that make a story truly brilliant. Look forward to your next update

An excellent start here! I'll be watching for more!

Hmm, let's see. First, you do way too much stuff in the first paragraph. In fact, you're not following the rules of the English language. Whenever a new person speaks, you must go to the next line and make a new paragraph. Each paragraph should focus around a single main idea. Yours are way too long and as such, difficult to read. They're very cluttered.

Second, not everyone reads Naruto. I, for one, don't. Please explain the ranking system that you mentioned at the beginning. I'm very confused about this.

A common pattern throughout the chapter is repetition and redundancy. Repetition is using a powerful word like Aura twice in the same sentence or very nearby. Redundancy is when you are saying the same thing twice, but in different ways. Please proofread for this.

One thing that makes me dislike the story is that Ash doesn't seem to have a good reason to act the way he does at the beginning of the chapter. He seems to lack the motivation for change. Animals, that includes humans, only seek evolution when they become outdated and improvement is required. That is how nature works. Normally, he wouldn't be feeling down right after winning something major. However, at the beginning, he holds a very negative attitude. Something has to cause this attitude to be present in him.

I'd like to wrap this up with a final, factual error that I spotted. Compared to Ash's other ships, this shipping has a lot of stories, topping 70 total as not all stories that include Ash and Cynthia have the shipping (shame on those who wrote those, by the way).

The reason why one might think that Rayshipping isn't popular and doesn't have many stories is if they compare it to one of the four, or rather three, major shippings. The three most popular ships are Pokeshipping, Advanceshipping, and Pearlshipping (I personally prefer Pearl out of the three). The reason I don't consider Negaishipping as hugely prominent like the aforementioned three is because the watchers of the Unova saga were either "Gen-1ers" or smaller children who haven't quite grasped the concept of love.

I see that this has potential but your rushing it, you should make it slower paced