HI Author,
I really enjoy reading your story! I absolutely want to know what happened in Australia and how Mack's decision about not letting Steve into her Hydra thing is going to "bite hern in the ass" :)
And I support your decision that Steve is going to be more intelligent then in literally all the story's in fanfiction I read...
Have a nice day :)

This was an awesome read! I enjoyed every second...can't wait to read the next story

love love LOVE!

this fix is awesome so far! I love macks character

Oh, things are getting exciting now.

Only one mistake, when Mack tell Thor to get in the car, the word call instead of car was used.

Good chapter, onto chapter six.

It was nice to get more of a glimpse at what happened in Australia. I can't wait to see the fun that will happen with Thor entering the story.

Those robbers really did have the worst timing, lol.

I like that you let us see how Mack progressed into the agent that she is now. Only two things I noticed this time.

First, on the second paragraph down from the June 1st, 2008 section, you had a run on sentence. Breaking up that sentence into two or three sentences would make the reading smoother.

Second, on the last paragraph of July 18, 2008. I think you meant to put 'when she joined SHIELD' and not what was there which was 'when she gave up SHIELD'.

Sorry there was a huge lag between me reading the first chapter and the second, sadly life got busy. I'm off to read the third chapter.

I love the story so far, especially how you have written Barton. I know it has been a while since you have written this story but I would feel strange if I didn't point out some mistakes I saw as I was reading.

First, when Mack is thinking about having her old field hockey stick with her, you forgot to put the word stick in there.

Second, when Mack asked Emma if the stalker had been there when Mack wasn't on shift Emma nodded as if to say he had been there. The context clues from the sentence after shows that he had not been there so Emma should have shook her head no instead of nodding that he had been there.

Third, this one might just be a writing decision. After the scene where Mack meets Barton in her apartment, you put there was cleaning of glass, when was the glass broken? During the meeting nothing was broken. The only thing I can guess is that Barton broke a window to get in but being the spy he is, I would think he would have found another way to get in other than breaking a window.

Fourth, when Barton is reassuring Mack after the attack in the parking lot he says, "He's been taking into custody". Taking should be taken.

All of these are easy mistakes to make while writing and very easy to miss when checking a story over. I'm off to the next chapter now, I cannot wait to see Mack learn to kick some tail.

So I plan on writing my own Steve/OC story and since yours is immensely popular I wanted to read it. You mentioned Australia ten times in this chapter. You don't need to mention how Australia broke her every paragraph. Us readers will get it if u mention it once or twice and show us how broken she is.
I'll keep reading though. I'd like to see how you write Steve.

I’m late to the party but I’m absolutely loving this story. I just wanted to say that Mack shouldn’t have been given a Pisces charm because she would be an Aries (March 21April 19)

Lmao she’s a bit of a hoe. I mean friends with benefits just screams hoe.

SHIT!SHIT!SHIT! Is the sniper who I think it is?

did you really need to kill him off? I'm sure u could have not done that... like seriously