The way the characters act make me uncomfortable I know this is a fanfic but cmon be reasonable I get that ted is the only guy but to make the characters write him off as a piece of shit is honestly the cringiest thing I have ever seen your grammar is bad your spelling needs improvement and try better vocabulary words I know this review isn’t written like an email but unlike you I don’t write a story that people flock towards only to be disappointed by the amount of laziness the author has

The song Rose was telling Thorin about... was it Siuil a Run?

My friend is Mellon nin, not mellomin.

still looking for a beta. I'd be glad to help

Im sorry but these are not cliffhangers. There just chapters cut into little bitty pieces. Your chapters are so short and you even have to mark how many parts there are. Im already in chapter 13 and your only at the part where Bilbo decides to join. I question myself why I'm still reading this fanfic. It would be a pretty good fanfic if you made it more detailed, longer chapters, spelling checks etc. please at least read it over before you post a new chapter and maybe take some time to think of a good plot line. I cant believe you took a whole year to finish this fanfic... And you mean to tell me there's a sequel? This is excruciating...

OK - you're a bad writer.

Your spelling is bad. Your grammar is bad. Your story structure is bad. Your characters are even worse. OK … calling this excuse for a fan fiction "bad" is me being kind. Everything is awful. You have been told once or twice about these flaws in the reviews, but like most ignorant bad writers, you choose to ignore it.

You're a bad lazy writer because you can't even be bothered to run the document through Spellcheck on Microsoft Word before even posting it on a public domain. You're a bad writer because you don't want to improve anything. Hell, chuck whatever you want into your fiction and write for the sheer hell of it, but whether you like it or not, you're writing sucks. LOL.

I guess you could call this a flame, or constructive advice. You can choose to learn from it and improve, which would make you a good writer.

Choice is yours.

Ok. This is a good story idea, hell if you worked hard enough it could even be great. But frankly, your writing sucks. The misspellings (follow,fallow), the unrealistic circulumstances, and basically it pretty danm confusing. I really do love the idea, truly, but you need to work on things. Consider a beta, or at least spell check. Thanks.

Hi!
I'm new here, and basicly i had the idea to start a story similair to yours, though i was not awere of it during the time , though id like to ask for permision to make a smimilair story to yours. It would feel strange if i wrote a altered copy of yours , even though pretty much all pj chaos fanfics are the same. Ofcourse I'll try to make our stories as diffrent as possible. I also read some chapters of yours, and wondered if you could help me come up with some ideas so our stories don't rival each other due to the fact that they are similair, or help me on the way of fanfic writing. Maybe co-operate of some kind?

Greetings

Lat1999

P.S. Could you make the chapters longer? 50 chqpters for 63k words is a little much...

You could use more flow in your sentences. I personally do not like your style, it's good to read as a pastime but not as a true story, which would then require more editing.

Please update soon. I need to know what happens next!

dragonlady98! Don't you dare believe Guest for one moment! I LOVE THIS STORY! Keep writing please! Many other people love this story too! Keep doing what you love and please, please, please UPDATE! :-)

Your plot sucks dialogue sucks and learn to spell the word follow it is no fallow

OMG!

U never cease to amaze, dragonlady... Now WRITE!