Hello just wanted to let you know that the story is good but you might want to go back and fix a few grammatical errors. Not trying to sound like a grammar nazi btw

Please post again soon

grammar omg pls fix

There are a lot of FoZ crossovers out there, and most of them make the same mistakes. Fortunately, you've managed to avoid some of the major ones. Many authors have the familiar end up with Derflinger regardless of whether or not they need a talking sword, and they make up a contrived reason for the familiar to duel Guiche. In itself there's no problem for having a duel or getting a sword, but if the only reason for doing it is because it happened in canon, then that misses the point of fan fiction. You managed to skip those two extraneous plot points, so good for you.

But this is an amateur story and you, like practically everyone else here, are an amateur author, and there are two things that you might want to focus on in your future projects. The first is grammar. Some others have mentioned this before, and I can't stress this enough. There are plenty of authors who don't have English as their first language, and if you're one of them, then I commend you for working with a handicap, but proofreading a chapter before publishing it would make things so much better. The way the perspective shifts from first to third person and the way you mix up homophones like they're, there, and their are the greatest offenders, but are hardly the only ones.

The second is that things don't always make sense. For example, early on Colbert snuck a letter into Louise's pocket before she left his office that asked her to come back with Ruby. Why? Why would he not just tell her that instead of moving so covertly? I have to admit that has bothered me for several chapters. Another example what that you had Ruby arrive without her scythe, and then make a new one. What was the point of that, if she was going to get a new one anyway? There's the matter of Dust ammunition, but that could have been easily replaced with an Halkeginian equivalent instead of building a MKII. Finally, after the fight with Mott, Kirche arrives with a porno to save the day, just like in canon, but in canon Saito made a trip back to the Academy so Kirche would know what was needed. Here, it was as though Kirche either found out about what Mott wanted off screen or habitually carried it in her pocket. One of the most entertaining features of these FoX crossovers is to see how the new familiar solves the known conflicts, but if you use the same solutions as in canon, then it's often disappointing.

I don't know if you're still working on this story, but this is just some general advice that may or may not help. Good luck!

Cliffhanger! Oh, please update soon. The wait is stabbing me to death.

English MOTHERFUCKER Do YOu SPEak IT!

QUE in RWBY Red like roses theme, this shit just got intense...Wait were is the rest of this story?
I DEMAND MORE OF THIS STORY!

When's the next chapter out. I've waited forever. Please release soon

is Louise's mother and Ruby's mother friends?
oh and Ruby and her sister are half-sisters, they have the same dad but two different moms
but Ruby's mother Summer Rose would be Yang's step-mother.
I hope that the girls will bring Ruby's pet dog Zwei with them for Ruby as well, that little dog is cute.

you wrote the "sure" as saw but nice begining

You really need to work on keeping your story in either third or first person. You keep switching between the two, even in the same paragraphs. It's pretty disorienting.

This is interesting. I am looking forward to seeing more of this.

I hope you get reaintrested in this story it's really good

Charge into battle when they have no where to run to and they will fall.

Interesting fic. Hope to read mor3 soon