The moment you realize that you are Severus Snape

Go for a equally cunning and shrewd lady for him.
Usually Slytherins fall here but you could do the Carrow twins, they arent used ever.

Ugh you just scrwed over a good story with that disgusting pairing ugh a million times dude

priceless!

Alright this fix is weird for now but I really want to read when he will drop the act.

this is like nothing else i have ever read. its really different and good

Nice story

I think you should continue I really liked the plot of the original it was just confusing sometimes so I think that rewriting it more clearly would be really cool :)

I don't know. I found your original start to the story intriguing. Harry was devious and cunning but not necessarily evil. He was definitely topping from the bottom. I like the way you portrayed it as a game he was playing with everyone, even if he was the only one who knew the rules and the score.

In some ways I liked his thinking that led to his creation of the 'Potter personna' that lets him hide so well from everyone else. He really came across as someone who was in control and knew what he was doing, but doing it for the right reasons. It explained why I snipe was willing to help him and considered him as a surrogate godson.

Now with this edge of planned, I don't know viciousness? It seems less like someone playing a game and more evil. Or should I say less like a gray neutral Harry and more like a Dark evil one. That's been done a lot.

Not only do you have an original idea you execute it very well!

I actually like the fact that Harry has so many allies. It makes this active pulling seem more realistic. Also knowing Sirius is going to take his side give your story a bit of an edge. Are you ever going to tell us how Harry so his past problems while still giving Longbottom the credit?

Honest thought? I like the first version better. Harry 'hiding' what he is, and definitely NOT a bully. I was looking forward to Sirius stepping into his life as a strong ally. I am amused by Draco as a friend, and Sev as a mentor. Perhaps Siri and Sev could become friends - unlikely, but they have grown up, and they have Harry in common.

You consistently switch back and forth between present tense and past tense and it's distracting from the writing and a little annoying. Would you like a beta?

I do so enjoy this story. Thanks

Love the new direction cant wait to read more

it was an awesome story.. but now boooooooooooooo...