Aw man, I knew it, I thought it was REALLY suspicious that he wouldn't interrogate the prisoners which at first I thought was because he was a -bleeding-heart- really nice guy, but then it crossed my mind that if he was the mastermind and was just pretending to be nice and reasonable of them all (to get you to trust him and prime for betrayal), then he was just protecting the people working under him.
And next paragraph, I was right. I should be ashamed, I just really don't trust suspiciously nice people that have everything to gain by acting that way.
Hilariously enough, once Azula said that he still didn't interrogate the prisoners, the seeds of suspicion started and I said that I'm just waiting for him to betray us and he did the next paragraph. Amazing.

Well, it looks like they got away, but I wonder what they will do?
(I like the world building on Azula's past, by the way, but hearing more about how nice Kona the Healer was and that Ozai eventually forced Azula to kill/hit in the chest and how nice Ozai seems to have been before when they were kids really sucks because I can't help but think what could have been if mercy wasn't considered a weakness there, or at least it seems like it.)

I look forward to more :)

Back again :)

Once again I really like the simplicity of your prose: "Katara stirred awake. Aang hugged her." It's clean and allows the story and characterisation to take precedence. The first part of this is very dialogue-based, which moves it at a cracking pace.

[She managed not to hesitate] I like the characterisation of Azula, here, but where this is placed actually makes the reader hesitate, which is a little counterproductive.

[sullen silence settled] Nice alliteration here, and I like that you ended the scene on a lull and not a high.

[... or not] I love the dry humour here, as well as that nicely subtle moment when, after the drama's over, everyone just shrugs and keeps working. Azula's frustration comes over very well. I'm not exactly perfect at SPaG so I could be wrong, but I think it'd be a capital "O" here, even though it's an interrupted line of dialogue.

Azula's internal dialogue snaps nicely, and keeps the narrative anchored to her. "It's probably stupidity" was worthy of a snigger, if not an actual laugh :)

[healer. Ozai commanded] If "commanded" is a dialogue tag here - it looks like it is - there should be a comma after healer, rather than a period.

[Her voice was soft and sad] This came out through your excellent minimalist dialogue, so I'd be tempted to ditch this explanation if it were mine (It's not annoying intrusive, though.)

[robbing him of sight] I liked this unique way of saying "blinded him", though it does form a rhyme with "through the night" that I noticed even with silent reading. YMMV.

["Do it."] It could be just me, but I was a little confused about whose line this is and who it was being directed toward.

[seven of his men died] Nothing wrong with this, though it "tells" rather than "shows" - is there a way you can make this more immediate/visual? I felt that a little with the later line "and watched her mother burn alive." YMMV again.

The last line about Mai's family being implicated is great storytelling, propelling the reader forward and keeping up tension. Good work :)

I keep finding myself rereading this story, it's just so damn good! Definitely one of the best Avatar fics I've ever come across.

Oh Azula...poor poor amazing Azula.

I love this fic so much. Great characterization. Impeccable grammar. Bravo. Bravo.

Hi, it's Edhla, posting of necessity as a guest :)

I love the dialogue surrounding Azula's appeal to Aang for help, and Toph's "happy projecting" made me laugh :) I paused a little bit at "a distasteful expression" because to me that would imply the facial expression itself was distasteful, not that she made that face because she had a distaste for admitting she was failing on the whole "flying" thing :) A lot of adverbs (confidently, disastefully, etc) in this dialogue, which isn't a huge sin but a little unnecessary. Your dialogue is strong without it.

[Fire obeyed] Lovely, subtle bit of personification there. That entire section had the same writing economy from you that I've always loved; it was clear what Azula was doing and what resulted without overdoing it.

LOL Ty Lee's dialogue always makes me smile. I loved the "onnnn" whine, and the fact that these characters do have very unique voices and you never confuse who is who.

[Marpa attacked Aang] This is really nicely paced, dude. You do use 'sudden' but it works because you didn't make the novice mistake of starting the sentence with "suddenly". the paragraph kicks the energy up a few notches and really grabbed my attention.

[She exited] [She landed] I noticed the repetition here.

Loving the difference between "fire is my element" and "fire is MY element." :D Great little interjections of her self-talk, and the line about being able to smell iron and her almost offhand "oh, bugger, must be bleeding" reaction are perfect.

[Nicked artery] Yeah, I'm thinking this'll more than HURT, dear. I'm surprised she didn't bleed out, even with "nicked." And ewww on the "hand-sized" comparison. Apt and disturbing.

[projecting sincerity] I know what you meant by including this, since "thank you" would normally be a sarcastic response to someone severing your damn leg. But it seemed to overelaborate it a little.

I'm sure it's just your fandom (of which I am mostly ignorant), but I felt a bit deprived of drama in Azula's "oh yeah, just a whole bunch of bones broken" nonchalance.

Zuko's voice "tinged with sadness" was a nice wistful note to leave this one on.

Hello again, Faulty! This review is your official prize!review for your team having come in first place in the first ever RLt, Book Nook event! I am still pretty much fandom blind here, but again, I'm confident that I can keep up with what is going on.

This here: ((She placed her left hand inside, middle and index fingers extended, froze it by bending the heat out of it with her right hand. She lifted her left arm, prying the ice out of the bucket, then shot a bolt of blue fire at the well, easily sublimating the ice.)) is a really great piece of imagery because it shows Azula's abilities, how she controls them and what she thinks of them: ((Easy. Trivial.)) Her powers and skills are something she knows she should always have under control, they should come at a snap. However the nightmare illustrates that this was not always so and that Azula fears not being in control when a situation requires it. It works to show she's imperfect and that even she can have moments of doubt.

The dialogue here: (("And did she apologize for trying to murder us at any point?" the waterbender pressed.))/(("No. I didn't, and I won't," said Azula.)) is snappy and punchy. It illustrates the problems the group has with Azula's pardon and how much they didn't trust her motives, especially after she admits she's not sorry for anything that she did to them. It raises the question about whether or not they will manage to work together to accomplish what is necessary, or if they will fall apart before they even accomplish a tenth of what they need too.

(("The Earth Kingdom stands divided."))-I like that you show how Azula has a political mind and is more than capable of sitting as the countries leader. It makes me wonder about how she'd have done as the leader if her father hadn't raised her with such dubious opinions. Clearly she was up to the task, and could conduct herself and the countries affairs admirably.

(("Oh, I'm sure it was so hard, being Father's favorite."))-Zuko's bitterness is perfectly represented in this line of dialogue. It illustrates the complexity of the family dynamic, suggesting that Azula was the father's favored child and given most of his attention because of her firebending capabilities and intelligence, and specifying how much Zuko might have resented all the attention lavished upon her.

((The risk to myself would be quite small, were we to intervene, but it would be there, and in the absence of any meaningful reward, we should just keep going.))-again, the way she internalizes and judges situations and people is a strong point of her character. She absorbs everything and weighs out every action so as to ensure that she makes the right decision. However, she is also convinced to intervene, at her displeasure, and does so because she knows she has to put on the good face if she wants to achieve her end goals.

((...and it still bled from an icicle in its massive throat.))-nice little cliffhanger to close off the chapter with. It leaves me wondering as to who the murderer is going to turn out to be and what the motives behind the murder are.

Just some pointer(s):

((As always, she fell asleep within minutes; as usual, nightmares haunted her rest.))-this line was just a bit clunky. May I suggest re-wording like this: (She fell asleep within minutes. And as always, the nightmares came to disturb her slumber.)?

(("She killed you! And she almost did twice before that!" Katara protested.))-This could be nitpicking, but I don't feel (protested) works to convey what you are trying to convey. Can I suggest maybe: (Katara was compelled to point out to him how, "She killed you!" She paused. "And she almost did twice before that!")?
(("...to the Fire Nation," Azula interrupted.))/(("Not me," Toph interjected.))-both instances where you use interjected are not ones that work in tandem with their sentences (for me, at least). Interjected signifies you are interrupting someone, and neither really are doing that. I'd go with that (Azula pointed out), and (Toph hissed or grated out from between clenched teeth) to change up the tags. Just my suggestion, however :)

(("Zuko, with me," She commanded.))-lowercase s on she since it is part of a dialogue tag.

((Ty Lee beamed, and said "It's okay." Azula felt a faint smile on her lips, before returning to her usual expression.))-comma missing after said.

In all, another nice chapter. Good job!

Back for more!

[...(and the others)...] since Azula is speaking here, I think this looks really awkward. I know this is meant to be like an afterthought, but maybe you could style it better? Up to you of course.

Azula waves her hand dismissively quite a few times at Mai in the beginning. I think just ignoring her the second time would make the same point as the first dismissive hand way.

Really nice with Ty Lee trying to remember the phrase "override command", felt really natural and clumsy (can those things even co exist together? You know what I mean!).

Love the line ["...intuition is a fickle ally"].

I really like how Azula is finally showing some type of weakness. All this time, she's been portrayed as this bad ass that is hell bent on getting her way and it's nice to see her somewhat afraid of her father's repercussions and letting Ty Lee comfort her in this time. Finally, I'm starting to feel some type of sympathy for her. It was really really hard to do that before.

Azula's Daddy issues are really shedding a light onto the side of her that is rarely seen in this chapter, but I think in a way, her father's words also spur her to keep on going. She's determined to prove him wrong, to prove that she can handle what she's taken on and that she's not to be ignored. I like that.

Good chapter, see you next time!

Hello there again!

I think is just now something I'm noticing (and it took me six chapters LOL) but your use of dialogue tags after almost each and every line of speech is a little distracting. I know there's a lot of people talking and you want to distinguish between them, but I'm wondering if there's an easier and cleaner way to do the switches? Or maybe try some action tags (you may have some, but there's very rare and far in between). At any rate!

Love the little thoughts that you inject with Azula here as information is being based, it's great characterization.

I'm curious as to why you have a divider after [Katara asked of the chancellor]? From what I can tell, there's no POV change or anything, it just seems outta place.

Very very nice moment with Azula realizing that her life was (temporarily) in the hands of another. And quite like her to turn around and think to herself "well, I can always do x, y, or z to defend myself if she tries". Ever the guarded fortress, Azula,

Intense battle at the end there! There was a lot going on, but it flowed great. And yay for the ending sentence! Let's see what happens next!

Hello there, Faulty! This review is for your team coming in first place in the first ever Review Lounge, Too, Book Nook event! I am absolutely fandom blind here, but I remember this story from when I reviewed the first chapter way back when so I'm confident I can keep up with what is going on.

((Fear, guilt, gratitude, appeal to friendship, all in sequence, and she never really wanted to leave. And years of fear don't go away with a single sentence, even if it was true. She couldn't have said no.))-I love how Azula processes all this about her former friend. It's clear that she doesn't care about Ty Lee any farther than she must. What few tender sentiments are coated in anger and disdain. She holds no respect for Ty Lee, her words indicate such. She finds her weak, pathetic, incapable of saying no because she was a fool.

I like Mai's hard words here: (("Well, it doesn't work like that. Your "mercy" was just you being less cruel than you could have been. Your favors and tolerance pale in comparison to your punishment for disobedience.")) and how she basically orders Azula to (("Leave.")) when she's finished. She's wise to who Azula is, knows that her so-called mercy is really just her being less cold and vicious and that her doing something for someone always comes with a high price. However, she also admits that she wants to be friends with Azula, so her sanity is in question heh

((The Avatar leapt to his feet, pointing his staff at her, while the waterbender drew a large globule from the ocean behind her, ready, while the earthbender raised three torso-sized rocks from the ground.))-really love the way you show the three different styles of fighters here. It works to showcase how there is more than one fighting style, more than one type of belief and power.

I really like how how when Katara says here: (("If something happens, I can't... I can't bring you back again.")) and Azula immediately thinks, ((Interesting.)). Again it shows the deviousness of Azula, how she catches little things like this and files them away for later use. Azula is a master manipulator, she is a strategist, someone who uses everything at her disposal in order to accomplish her end goals.

This here: ((Normally I keep my impulses under control. Small cracks lead to larger ones. And what happened during the day of the comet can never happen again. Besides, I certainly need to keep a level head now.)) is a really great way to illustrate how devious that Azula is. She knows she must be careful, that she has to play her part and put on an act that convinces the world she's changed her ways. If not, she will be represented, or worse yet (in her mind), she will be killed. So she plays her part, banks her urges and acts contrite while plotting her vengeance.

Just some pointer(s):

((in case, she called out "I thought you didn't like those outfits."))-just forgot a comma after (out).

((princess said "Because I forgive you. I'm going to leave with Zuko and the Avatar's group for Ba Sing Se.))-just forgot a comma after said.

(("Aang, how can say that? This is Azula! She tried to kill us all. She did kill you!" Katara said, furious. "What are you planning?" she said, addressing the princess.))-you use said very close together here. I would replace the second said here with the word demanded to make her tone more sharp and her anger and suspicion more pronounced.

((said))- you tend to use this dialogue word quite a lot I am noticing. It is not wrong to use the word, but you should vary it up by using other dialogue words and actions to express what is going on in the scene.

((At noon, they set down at midday in clearing by a rocky stream, in a lightly forested area. They gathered around a campfire, Azula flanked by Zuko and Ty Lee, Mai besides Zuko, and the rest in a hostile huddle away from Azula.))-I'd combine the two sentences together here to make the section flow more smoothly. My suggestion is this: (At noon, they gathered around a campfire, Azula flanked by Zuko and Ty Lee, Mai besides Zuko, and the rest in a hostile huddle away from Azula.)

In all, this was a good chapter that established Azula hasn't learned a thing from her imprisonment and is essentially stop up to her old bag of tricks. Good job!

Good morning/afternoon/evening, whichever is applicable :)

Great use of the more literal interpretation of the expression "breathe fire", which is an actual thing in this fandom :) "Dirt road" made me pause and wonder if "the dirt road" sounded better, but it seems perfectly grammatical to me either way (and I suck at grammar.)

[And she would enjoy giving it] I love how you weave Azula's thoughts into the narrative voice here.

[Master of the obvious] Ha! Nice bit of gentle humour to complement the gravity of the encounter. As an aside, I was a little confused by the italicised thoughts; the first two seemed to me to be Aang's thoughts, whereas "political consequences..." seemed to be Azula. "Thank you, Fire Lord" also had me a bit puzzled as to whose dialogue it was.

[Zuko, expectant] Nothing wrong here; just wanted to let you know how much I like your economic prose style.

[the airbender] The first time you used this it was helpful, but the second time stuck out a bit.

[Toph said calmly] You've used "calm" in the previous paragraph (where it works); I think Toph's wording implies a sort of calmness anyway. Your mileage may vary.

[Zuko, Azula and the acting general...] Part of me wonders if this might work better as the opening to the next sequence, instead of a closer.

[Aura's don't exist] Strongly implied by her dialogue in the next line :) As an aside, I like how heavy in dialogue this chapter is - it's long, but well-paced.

[She did.] Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for not going into gory torturous detail. Less is more, and it works better this way.

[Mildly annoying] Ha! Another lighter moment without being too silly, given the fandom.

[hmph] I love the disgust in her self-talk here.

Because of the length of this chapter I'm gonna split it into two parts; see you on the other side very soon x

Hi there again :)

["What is it?" "A kitten"] confused me at first because these two lines are coming from separate people, but they're on the same line. At any rate, aw kitten! I have to admit, I don't really see right away the significance of that, but I'm sure it's just me being daft.

[the cosmetic] speaking as a woman who wears lipstick, we honestly don't use this word on a normal basis. It's more technical than natural and even here, it sounds little bit off.

Anger has a funny way of making someone stronger sometimes, I feel. I like how here, she has a moment where, though her anger made her tired, it also made her stronger and didn't distract her from her refresher session. Her head is ruling her emotions here, good thing.

I really like how, in this universe, fire and lightening are treated like humans, in which they make their own rules. It kind of feels like that, to me, the peeps of this universe understand the elements and their powers, but at the same time, they sort of don't (for example, you mentioned that they don't know why lightening is attracted to metal, which in our lives, we know why). They don't know it all; some things are still mysterious to them and I like that.

Well, damn, that little match between Azula and the general escalated quickly, boy.

Cute exchange with the purple hat! :)

Interested in seeing what happens next. See you later!

Whoa, it's been awhile since I've been here! Just a side note that it's very possible that I'll forget some stuff, sorry in advance!

I kind of feel like the beginning is a bit jumpy, but that could just be my memory of what happened before this moment not serving me well. This line here: [They waited for a few more minutes], however, does strike me as a little awkward and sudden just there by itself, but YMMV on that regard.

["...go first," Suki addressed...] this kind of strikes me as a dialogue tag, not an action tag, but I could be wrong.

The jumpy dialogue is little bit disorienting for me here at first, but at the same time, it's working in that things are moving quickly and they need to because boy, things are a-happening, yes. What I really liked about this scene the most was the promptness of how information was exchanged. There was some room, I think, to drag things out unnecessarily, but you didn't. Kudos!

I was a little thrown off by the sudden hug between Ty Lee and Azula because I swear that nothing in the text hinted to that happening except after it happened, if that makes sense? At any rate, I like how she started off by thinking "I don't need a hug" and then just let herself trail off for the sake of letting it pass without consequence.

LOL at [you never really paid attention in school]! You could just hear the *facepalm* in that thought.

[Two hundred years ago] I have to say, that was a lot of information thrown at me at once. Granted, a canon savvy person could probably follow it no problem, but for me, it was a little much. I don't really know of any way to make it easier for those reading blind to understand, so what you have here just might do. And it also gives context and background to the family history, so it might be a bit hard to figure out what to leave and toss out anyway.

You have two [she said] tags back to back ("Now try and hit me" and the line before it) and I think you can eliminate the one after [And that's leaving aside] because I think the dialogue would flow better if they were together.

[And the best thing for him] oh how I LOVE the ominous tone that seeps outta this thought.

Looks as though things are taking off toward a peaceful direction, which hopefully will happen soon. Too many people have obviously suffered at the hands of this war and it's time that this group ends it. See you for the next chapter!

Loving this chap I can't wait for more.

A very interesting twist. I liked how you handled Azula's efforts to teach herself to fly and her (grudging) willingness to ask Aang for help. Her interaction with Ty Lee as she showed off her new power reinforced the strength of their bond. She really does seem to be the only person with whom Azula can release her iron grip of control

Why was the Fire Nation airship at the ambush site? Maybe I missed something, but that seemed to be weirdly coincidental. It seems like the spirit would have chosen a different location before launching its attack rather than providing the expanded GAang with potential allies.

Overall, another great installment! Hopefully there will be less of a wait before the next one. ;)