Hunting up some more Dally and decided to go back to the first one. ;) I enjoyed your characterization of Two-Bit, with his "You know I need my beauty sleep" but underneath the cutting up really caring and worrying about Dally. Seeing your take on the night the Curtis parents died and how the boys all responded was really emotional. I like how you start it off with humor ("Both accused the other of cheating. Both were guilty."); it really adds to the shock when they get the news. I also like how you capture the relationships among the boys, that Steve is the first one to be there for Soda and Johnny for Ponyboy, then Pony and Soda clinging together, then Darry trying to help them though he's barely able to take it all in himself. This part was fantastic: "Dally and Two-Bit made eye contact. For the first time in his life, Two-Bit was speechless. For the first time in his life, Dally looked scared." And now I think I understand what was the issue in "Scant" (unless there's something more I haven't encountered yet), which I was wondering about. Totally in-character reaction from Dally. And the last line is a gut punch. Nice start!

This truly is an amazing story and represents them like they are more than what Ponyboy sees. But also... for anyone scrolling through the comments like I do. Friendly reminder that Dally will die.

That has to be the best ending I've ever seen in my life. Lolz

Oh my gosh. I just spent two hours reading this entire story in one sitting. It was absolutely amazing! I loved your portrayal of the characters! Thank you so, so much for sharing. I can't wait to read some of your others.

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I HAVE EVER READ ON FANFICTION! (I especially liked the part where Tim told dally to get over his horseshit and then at the end dally had the brick with the words: "I'm over my horseshit" on it)

This is an amazing story and I can't stop reading! I can't wait to see how it ends!

This was amazing. I loved everything...every single character. It was perfect. I loved it. Dally and TwoBit was portrayed beautifully. I never really read too many things on TwoBit, but I'm glad I did this time. It was the perfect example of the effect of loss, and the terror of rape. I loved the brotherly love of the two. I always have to remind myself that TwoBit's older than Dal, who is only seventeen. I love the protective side of TwoBit, and the soft side of Dally. I like how didn't stray from Two's personality one's perfect, and the way TwoBit feels so uncomfortable about the whole thing, and how he wishes for normalcy is real. I loved it..I love it.. God you don't know how much I do. It was just brilliant. Bravo!

~Jenn

I realized that on another book you had the characters eat Mac and Cheese and Meatballs. Is it your favorite? Idk I just made this connection. X D

I really liked the ending of this story - loved how Dally finally managed to be himself again by throwing the brick through Tim Shepard's windshield. It seemed so characteristic of Dally yet surprising at the same time. Also loved the bonding moments between Two-Bit and Dally.

I love your story so very MUCH!
Honestly, I envision the characters more like in the books. (Dally being not too tall, blonde, and leaking hair grease, Johnny having shaggy hair and having "puppy eyes", Two-Big being tall and strong ECT )

I love Tim’s tough-love speech. Only Tim can speak to Dally on those terms, and it’s exactly what he needs to hear. And this line: “I swear that little punk causes me more trouble than he’s worth.” Haha! Yeah right, Dallas. You keep telling yourself that.

The brick! Classic Dally move. Brilliant. The perfect ending. I don’t think if you had a hundred years you could have come up with a better conclusion. This ending managed to make me laugh and smile, which is amazing considering the heavy subject matter and the painful journey of shame, denial, and illness that the story most strongly focuses on. I'm so happy to see Dally back to his usual orneriness.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story!

I’d like to restate what a good job you do of taking into account the influence adults have on the boys. I like Rick, Two-Bit’s multi-dimensional mom, and the hint at a loving grandfather that you’ve given Dally in this chapter.

It was a nice touch to have Two-Bit so fed up, so filled with pent-up anger that he starts the rumble. And I enjoyed this humorous aside: “I didn’t know [I was brave enough to start it] either!”

But of course, the strongest and most moving part of the chapter and maybe the whole piece is Dallas jumping into the rumble to rescue Johnny. This is exactly what needed to happen. Dally is so used to being top dog–it’s essential to who he is–that I think the only way he could start to overcome what happened is to kick some *ss protecting the people he cares about most. Even though he was injured, I’m glad to see him up to usual antics. This will help him move away from (understandably) feeling like a victim and allow him to see himself a hero again.

“‘Dal?...You okay?’ ‘No I ain’t.’” Finally.

I’m glad Dally’s reached rock bottom, reached his breaking point so he can admit he needs help. This is the most difficult step when you’re in the throws of denial about a problem (wish I didn’t know this), but from here on out, he can start the process of seeking help and moving on. And the self-loathing that follows, how doesn’t understand why anyone would care about him...honestly, I have a hard time picturing Dally feeling this way, because he’s presented as so cocksure about himself in the book: proud of his police record, proud of his status as a hood. But I think there is a lot more to Dally that goes on behind the scenes outside of Pony’s view. More self-doubt than his arrogant, bitter grin and thumbs-in-belt-loop swagger reveal. And if insecurity hadn’t been there before, this assault sure as h*ll would have changed that.

Also, in light of this backstory you’ve given him, it adds an ominous layer to Dally’s later warning to Johnny in Windrixville that “you get hard in jail.” Even if he is going through a vulnerable time right now, ultimately I think he’d come out the other end of the trauma even more hardened.

The dialogue in this chapter is strong. It really gave me a sense of the story taking place in specifically in the ‘60s without having to rely too strongly on dated slang. I love Kathy’s use of the word ‘slick’ and Two-Bit’s dubbing of ‘Oil Can Stan.’ Tim calling Kathy his ‘sloppy seconds’ and a ‘handful’ just capped it all off. In fact, I like how Tim came off as intimidating, sexist, and flawed, while at the same he proved to be a real human being, because he was concerned about (and checking up on) Dally. The last bit is a nice foreshadow of the events in the books, when Tim shows up at the hospital to visit, also only pretending to care about an upcoming rumble.

D*mn right he's being selfish. I wish I could shout at him from behind my computer screen: ‘Two-Bit, you’re acting like such a jerk! Shut up!’ But if he had to tell anyone, Darry is the person. He can be relied upon to keep a secret, and he’s mature enough to handle the situation better than any of the other guys. I like how you write Darry: vulnerable in the very rare moments when he lets his guard down, but mostly in control, a responsible and considerate leader. You don’t let Ponyboy’s warped vision of him (as his younger brother) influence your take on the character.