the story is messed up put a mpreg or yaoi warning dude the hell

This story is terrible. Your vocabulary does not make sense. You are using words that may go together but not in the context of the story you are trying to write. And you keep using them over and over again. “Semipermeable mouth”? “Physiognomy”? Really? It sounds like your just using big words that you don’t know how to use properly.

How the hell did a Male get pregnant?

like

How did a guy get pregnent?

This ... Actually isnt that bad I have to admit this seems like a good YAOI fic. ( I think ) though the MPREG is a little off putting In my opinion but what ever floats your boat!
If only non YAOI fic were as good as this oh well

Your all a bunch of fucking idiots and you miss yaoi lover can go fuck off and die. Think you can win by blocking me, shove it up your ass bitch.

Please for the love of all that is my sanity don't let this be a sasunaru fic :(

HOLY SHIT!

Yay I'm so glad your continuing it and more chapters pretty please XD

A rewrite would be a good idea. This story is kind of a trainwreck.

The soap opera stuff is fun, but there's a lot of weird inaccuracies. Like, people don't become instantly pregnant. It takes weeks to know for sure.

And I don't care very much about the characters because everything is rushed and people are constantly changing their minds. Like, one minute Itachi and Kyuubi want to be with each other forever and have a baby, and the next Itachi is acting like he never wanted kids, or that he wants Kyuubi's baby more than Kyuubi. It's so hard to follow the story when all the characters act so inconsistently.

We also don't get to know the characters that well either. Like I couldn't even tell what made Sasuke and Naruto special to each other. The only just met in this fic. Which is weird because Itachi and Kyuubi were together since they were little kids, so how come this was the first time Naruto and Sasuke were meeting?

I also thought there was too much of Itachi and Kyuubi. I thought it was supposed to be Naruto's story? After a while, he seemed more like a side character than the main character, which sucks because I never liked Itachi and Kyuubi all that much. They are both kind of dick-ish. I liked Naruto and Sasuke much more and wished the story would just focus on them instead of giving so much time to the older brothers.

I'll read both versions if I have to.

I'm glad you're going to continue this story. I just started reading it the other day and I sooo wanna know what happens next. I bet the rewrite will be as awesome as this one. Keep up the good work.

YATTA YATTA YATTA YATTA YATTA

I like both of your plans. )