Wow, this story was really good.

I'll try to comment on some of the chapters sometime.

I really like how you had this epilogue to wrap up the story! Even if it’s still really sad that Ms. Saffron died. Seeing Cosmo’s tombstone must have been awful, remembering both what he did to them and what he almost did. That guy certainly didn’t deserve a proper burial, that’s for sure. And I can understand them wishing he was still around to be properly punished, though this way is better in the end, as there’s no chance he can hurt anyone again.

The part where they were looking at Saffron’s grave was really sad, how they realized that, although she had helped them, Cosmo had taken her life and she had been unable to get away. Even after all that time, even though they didn’t really know her that well, that has to be hard for all of them. I’m glad that Penny and Snap are helping Rudy understand that none of it was his fault, and that there was nothing he could have done anyway.

I’m also really glad that Snap was able to come with them. I remember reading some other ChalkZone stories where something happened to someone in the Real World and only Rudy and Penny would go see them/find out what was happening to them, and that always really bugged me that the authors never thought to have Snap come along. So I’m really glad you did that!

It’s nice that they all said things for her, and acknowledged what she did and the fact that, were it not for her, the three of them might not even be still alive. And who knows what would happen to ChalkZone! And I liked Penny pointing out that, even though Ms. Saffron made a lot of mistakes in working for Cosmo, she didn’t just make excuses for herself and strived to do better and make things right. And what Snap said about wishing things had been different was really sad. But I liked that he pointed out how they both realized they were wrong about each other at first.

It was nice of Rudy to leave the flowers there, too. Even if Ms. Saffron is dead, I think it’s still nice that people still care about her, and that they won’t forget her either.

All in all, this was an awesome story and I am honored that I got to read it. Reading all these chapters made me immensely happy so I can’t really thank you enough for writing this. It was very inspiring, exciting, and thrilling, and you wrapped up everything so nicely. This is definitely one of the best fanfictions I have read. I’m very excited for the sequel!

- Racingwolf

Woooo! Great story! I always loved awesome endings and yours would go on that list. The plot was fast-paced and dynamic and the characters weren't OOC. You had great characters of your own too and they were just as awesome (except for Mr. Cosmo who's a jerk-face). It's sad that Ms. Saffron had to die but at least she didn't in vain and she was honored. One of the parts that make me the happiest is that Snap fully recovered and his legs got better. I can really understand him when he couldn't take the wheelchair anymore since he's always running all over the place adventuring. So I'm really happy for that :D I would give this story 6 out of 5 stars (no, that was not a typo) and I can't wait to read the sequel! \( ' ‿' )/

(Continued)

And I was REALLY happy when Snap started to get the feeling back in his legs. Now he can go on adventures again just like he used to! Woo! Even if it took a while (and I like that it wasn’t an instant “Oh hey guys, I can walk now!” thing, because that wouldn’t make sense. xD) I’m really glad that he started to get better. Even if he had to feel the pain of the burn injuries, well, that was much better than not being able to use his legs at all. And his friends were helping and Snap appreciated it rather than worried about it, which is also awesome.

And I’m glad that, even with all the injuries he had, the wounds got better without any visual reminder of the horrific things that happened in Cosmo’s building. And I loved the ending, with the reference to the episode where Penny first came into ChalkZone. I thought that was great, a memory of their first adventure together as a trio.

I loved how you did the ending bit, of Rudy realizing that, in spite of all odds, they had reclaimed everything they once thought, almost for sure, they would lose. They WON. And I absolutely love stories like that, with characters overcoming things and triumphing in spite of it. And these three (in addition to the other Zoners affected by all this) DEFINITELY deserved their happy ending!

Great chapter, and I really like how you wrapped up all the details – even explaining things like Cosmo’s machines and Rudy and Penny’s injuries (the sort of things that some authors tend to forget). And it’s awesome to see them all happy again after what happened!

- Racingwolf

I’m really glad that Mr. Wilter ended up being okay, and that he was able to help Rudy before he set off back to the hospital. It would be so terrifying knowing that Snap might wake up, and be stuck unconscious for who knows how many years…likely longer even than Rudy’s lifetime, which is horrible to think about. D:

When they first got there it must have seemed so hopeless at the time, with Snap’s fever and infection not having gone down at all, since they know that if that doesn’t get better, Snap is going to end up dead before he got a chance to wake up.

And I’m glad Rudy and Penny finally got to reunite with their parents after all this time. Especially after they had been gone so long and had no way to contact them at all. At least Rudy was able to come up with a believable story about how they came to be injured. And it is scary to think what could have ended up happening to his parents, and to Penny and Snap, if Rudy had remained corrupted by the black chalk. It’s also good that he was able to deliver a message to Rapsheeba that day, so she knew where he was and why he hadn’t come back into ChalkZone.

It’s awesome that they finally got to free the other Zoners! It’s nice that they got a happy ending too. And the fact that they erased all of the chalk machinery in Cosmo’s building was great, too. It certainly wouldn’t be good if someone stumbled upon it, tried to figure out what it was, and realized that it was composed of chalk. o.o At least with the machines that remained, they can’t make the chalk connection if they do end up investigating the place.

I thought it was really interesting that Terry was brought up. I don’t blame her for hearing about the whole thing and thinking “Chalk World!” She’s pretty fixated on that. xD At least she’s far less of a threat than Cosmo was, so if she does end up trying anything, Rudy and his friends could figure it out.

And wow, after a day Snap was no better…that would be so freaky to see him so unmoving like that, not knowing if he’d ever wake up. I can see why it would be so difficult for Rudy and Penny to have hope; it’s not like the situation had much cause for it. And to be around Snap yet never hearing him say anything…yeah, that would be really unnerving and weird; Snap doesn’t stay silent that long in his healthy state. And I’m definitely sure Cosmo intended to kill him when he kicked him back at the Chalk Mine. D:

That was really nice of all those Zoners to come visit him and leave him gifts, though. I was really surprised when Skrawl did it. I guess even he understands how Snap helped take down Cosmo in the end.

And it was awesome when Snap finally woke up! Even though it took a little while for his memories to return. At least they were able to tell him that Cosmo could in no way hurt him again.

But wow, that whole thing really affected him. D: It’s not like Snap at all to not want help from his friends, or see himself as a burden, so he must have been really shaken up to act that way. The way he freaked out over the wheelchair, despite it being a definite step up from being bedridden, shows that this whole thing, and the fear of never returning to normal, was really messing with his mind. D: I think that it was awesome that Rudy and Penny didn’t give up on trying though, even when Snap was telling them to leave him alone.

It was really worrying that Snap might never be able to walk again, and that he started to return to his old self only to go back to being really distraught over it in such a short space of time. It was really nice that Penny and Rudy were there to help him through all that, though! Though when he started acting really weird and not wanting them to come around him anymore, that had to have been extremely worrying for the both of them, and for anyone else who knew Snap well.

I love that, in spite of everything that’s happened, Rudy STILL has the determination to not give up that he showed in previous chapters, even when it came to helping his friend. It was sad when Snap yelled at him though. D: Though it was really nice that he apologized to Rudy immediately afterward. And I really like that, in that moment, Snap actually broke through the anger and confusion and realized that there was nothing bad about letting the others help.

I also thought it was really nice that they stayed over at his house that night. And that playing that game with Snap cheered him up and made him realize how irrational he was being.

(Ugh...too long, need to split it up...)

Wow, that was an awesome chapter!

I like how you wrote Rudy’s thoughts at the beginning, when it seemed like he wasn’t going to be able to get out of this, of wondering if Penny or anyone else could stop Cosmo if he failed. If Penny were to face Cosmo and fail after Rudy did, ChalkZone would be without a protector, free for Cosmo and who knows who else to exploit. And I love how, in spite of all this, Rudy keeps fighting to do what he first promised to do all those years ago – protect it.

Biclops came at just the right time, too! I like how even he is fighting, despite his wounds. I think it’s really cool that you had characters like Biclops and Rapsheeba who usually stand off to the sidelines playing an active part in helping Rudy and the others. Rapsheeba bringing the chalk and Biclops stopping Cosmo right then both saved Rudy. And Rudy’s thoughts about Biclops were interesting too. It must have taken a lot of courage to stand up to Cosmo again, especially with there being Real World water in the cavern. And I really wonder what Cosmo had done to Biclops the last time he stood up to him all those years ago. o.o I liked the reference to The Quicksand Man you put there, too. That would make sense that whatever he did could have inspired the nightmare. And I love that in spite of all that, Biclops is standing up to him anyway! :D And defeating Draow DEFINITELY helped.

When Cosmo had the water gun, I was really worried what was going to happen to Biclops. o.o And Rudy’s own defense, the magic chalk, was powerless against that. And I’m not surprised that Cosmo just sees Biclops as a “failure.” And I wonder about his other creations too. It does seem like Draow is the only one of them Cosmo respects in any way, possibly the only one violent enough and with thoughts as twisted and evil as Cosmo’s are. But hooray for Rudy for standing in front of him, even if he didn’t have anything that could physically stop Cosmo.

And it’s no surprise that Cosmo planned to finish off Rudy’s friends after all this. D: The fact that he was going to do to Penny exactly what he did to Snap…well, all I can say is that I’m glad he never got that chance! And this time, Cosmo couldn’t stop Rudy from keeping the promise he made to them. I really liked how you wrote the part where Cosmo realized that he was losing, that his plan to take over ChalkZone was failing. And the fear that came with it. It was something I almost thought we’d never see Cosmo experiencing, after he had all the control throughout most of the story.

That was freaky how he managed to attack Rudy again, though. D: I was really wondering how Rudy was going to manage to beat him while having wounds like that. And I was really glad Rudy managed to stop Cosmo from erasing Biclops in spite of that. That must have taken all his strength and I think it’s awesome he did that to save him.

When Cosmo pointed the water gun up at the stalactites, I thought that was pretty clever. And makes sense that, even at such a disadvantage, Cosmo would come up with some awful plan in spite of it. It was lucky that Rudy managed to break away; he only did so just barely. And I thought the way Cosmo died was VERY fitting. Death by one of his own twisted plans. It was about time all the evil that he was doing finally caught up with him. And this time, he really can’t hurt anyone else anymore.

I don’t blame Rudy being so shocked, though. That must have been a horrific thing to witness, even if it had happened to someone as evil as Cosmo. But Biclops is right, in that now, no one else will be harmed by him ever again. It was over; they won. I definitely understand that even that would be a lot to take in; Cosmo had been such a threat for what seemed like so long, it would be weird to think it was finally done. In the past, every time they thought they were getting away, something worse would happen, so I can see how Rudy would still feel strange about the fact that, this time, they really are safe.

I’m glad Mr. Wilter is all right! And that was sweet of Rudy to want to visit Snap right away! But Biclops is right, he definitely needs to get those wounds treated first. XD Hopefully he’ll be able to go into ChalkZone right after that and he sees his parents again. Snap, Penny, and Rapsheeba need to know that he’s alive, and will, once his wounds heal, be okay. And I hope Biclops finds a good place to take Draow to where he won’t harm anyone either.

This was a great chapter and it’s great to see that ChalkZone is finally safe after everything that happened. I just hope that Snap will be able to fully recover after all this. Just recovering from his injuries to begin with will be hard enough, I really hope he can use his legs again. D:

Good job again, and I eagerly await seeing what happens to Snap and everyone else in the next chapter!

- Racingwolf

Finally! That awful man has been defeated once and for all. I hope that Skrawl, Snap, and Mr. Wilter are all right. Hard to believe that someone like Cosmo created someone like Biclops.

The battle is getting intense! Well, it certainly was before, but now…the odds REALLY seem against them. Rudy will have to do some quick thinking, that’s for sure!

I really like how, even though at first Cosmo was still so confident and arrogant, firmly believing he would win without much of a problem, and by the end he was showing real fear. It’s nice to finally see HIM as the one being afraid, after all he has done.

And Rudy is right about both Ms. Saffron and Snap. Saffron was the one who recognized that what she was doing was wrong and strove to amend her mistakes, to become a better person. She also was the reason that they were able to escape from that horrible building at all. So she certainly has more strength than Cosmo has ever had, regardless of what he may think. And he’s also right that if Snap hadn’t been captured and tortured, he would have been at Rudy’s side the entire time. And even now, in spite of what’s happened to him, he was able to help Rudy by attacking Mr. Cosmo when he did. And even aside from all of that, Snap is REALLY strong just to go through all of what he did. To still end up doing his best to help Rudy in spite of all that…that is really impressive. But neither of these things are anything Cosmo would understand. To him, being strong only means having power, and not having physical weakness.

I really hope Biclops and Mr. Wilter will be able to get out of this okay, too. Cosmo really has screwed things up for all of them, even Penny and Rapsheeba back at the hospital, even though they aren’t currently in danger while Cosmo is distracted with Rudy and Skrawl.

At least with all that has happened, Rudy is determined enough that he can fight through the pain of the injuries he got before. Though his recent one…I’m not sure about that. D: And it’s good that Skrawl stands a fighting chance against Draow, despite not having much of any real weapons or defense in comparison to him. And when Cosmo was licking the blood, I was thinking, “Wow…this guy is crazy! o.o” Then again, we already knew that. XD But things like that just emphasize it. Unfortunately for him, that tactic didn’t work very well in unnerving Rudy. He just keeps fighting.

I really like all that Rudy said to Cosmo. It’s really awesome to see, after so long of Cosmo having the upper hand against all of them, after Rudy being frightened and afraid of him earlier, standing up to him again.

But wow, what Cosmo said about it being all Rudy’s fault was really twisted. Even going so far as to use Rudy’s promise, his determination to protect Snap, against him and portray it as a stupid, terrible mistake. And then blaming Ms. Saffron and Snap for what happened to them too…this really drives home just how horrible and manipulative he is.

But even though that blaming thing had worked to an extent in the past, even though he once would have believed those lies, even though he had blamed himself before, Rudy’s not buying it this time. This time, he’s far too smart for that. He knows that all of this was caused by Cosmo and no one else, and Rudy’s not going to let him mess with him like that again. I thought that part was really, really awesome.

And it’s also awesome to see Cosmo actually showing fear of him. And Rudy finally telling him that all his lies are a load of crap and that HE’S the one at fault. That was so awesome to read.

And even through all this, Rudy still showed mercy and didn’t even hurt Cosmo unnecessarily. He’s definitely a far better person than Cosmo claims he is, that’s for sure! I’m not surprised Cosmo took advantage of that, though. That was rather shocking that he actually managed to stab Rudy, though. o.o But if anything…that’s definitely a sure way to get the police to believe his story, so in a way, Cosmo might have that backfire on him in the end. But crap…I have no idea how Rudy’s going to manage to pull through this now. D: At least he can still stand, which is a good sign. But he’s really going to have to come up with something fast now.

And it’s sad that Penny can’t really do anything to help Snap during the operation. She probably wouldn’t even be able to go back and help Rudy in time. And to think that Snap could die any minute…she must have been so scared. D:

But wow, that was such a relief when they were told he ended up pulling through! She and Rapsheeba had to have been so happy! And yet, the possibility of permanent damage is still there, a very strong possibility, must be worrying too… Snap would be really scared about it whenever he wakes up.

Once again, I really love how you write the emotions of the characters in this story. Penny and Rapsheeba’s reactions in this part made a lot of sense and fit perfectly. I hope that Snap ends up waking up soon, and that his friends being there can help him. And Rudy…I hope that Snap can find out as soon as possible whether or not Rudy succeeded in what he set out to do; Snap will still be worried about him whenever he remembers where he is.

Great chapter, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. I really want to find out what happens to Rudy and Snap!

- Racingwolf

I was really wondering how Rudy was going to get out of this, and I think it’s awesome that Skrawl decided to come back! Even though he has no real incentive to risk himself to help Rudy anymore. It was also good that he was able to hold off Cosmo for a short time, at least having the advantage of size in this case. But yeah, that must have been really strange for Rudy to witness. xD Considering that Skrawl nearly had him killed with Robot Rudy in a very similar place when he was ten. But now he’s helping him.

I’m wondering about Skrawl’s reasons, too. I wonder if what Rudy said did get through to him after all. And I mean really get through to him, not just the more fleeting thoughts he had back in the earlier chapters. His excuse wouldn’t fool Rudy anyway; since when is Skrawl going to do something for someone because he ‘owes’ them? XD Nice try, Skrawl. But wow, it must have taken a lot for Skrawl to actually start being guilty over the things he did in the past. Of course, the situation they were in itself could have prompted a lot of change, but I really wonder what he must have been thinking throughout this whole thing to finally realize and come to that.

Haha, I also like how Skrawl acted so confident and unafraid toward Cosmo. XD It was really cool because anyone who stands up to Cosmo is awesome. XD And seeing confidence – even Skrawl’s confidence – must be very encouraging to Rudy, too. And I also thought it was nice that Rudy does still care about Skrawl getting away safely and not getting injured again. But this situation doesn’t really allow for a good chance of that, even if Skrawl DID get out of the cavern. At least against Draow, there can’t really be any magic chalk used against him.

And all the while Rudy is here he must be so worried about his friends, and his teacher. And especially Snap, after he saw what happened to him… And finding out just how intelligent Draow was certainly won’t help, because that does make him a much more dangerous opponent, even more so than they originally thought. And when Draow asked Cosmo who had injured his eye, it made me kinda wonder if he’d hold some grudge against Snap for being the cause of it. He did certainly seem displeased by it.

The sad part where Rudy was wondering if he would ever see Snap alive really made me feel for him. And it’s sad that he blames himself for failing to keep that promise…when in reality, he didn’t fail at all. He did his best. The only “failure” here is the one responsible for this…Cosmo himself. I understand why he wouldn’t realize any of this then, though. D: I hope he still has a chance to help Snap in whatever way he can, even if it’s just being there as he recovers…whether or not he can fully.

And I like to see Cosmo showing some fear when Rudy ran up toward him with the chalk. It shows that he knows that Rudy actually has a chance, even just a small one, against him, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he was remembering that long-ago battle with Mr. Wilter all those years before. Yet in the midst of all this anger, Rudy still doesn’t want to seriously injure, let alone kill, Mr. Cosmo at all. He is much braver and stronger than Mr. Cosmo…who will probably never really understand that.

And this part:

With a twisted smile on his face, Mr. Cosmo said, "You don't have it in you...do you...? You'll always be weak... Like Ms. Saffron and Snap. Ms. Saffron died because of it...Snap will soon die because of it...Today, you will die because of it."

That…really just makes me hate him even more than I already did, if that’s possible. Come on, Rudy, you can beat him!

And whoa, hearing the drilling noises from the operating room would be so freaky for Penny and Rapsheeba. o.o Especially with them knowing how risky the procedure was going to be. And it was sad when they remembered the birthday party, how happy everyone was there, especially Snap. And I can totally see how that would seem like ages ago since that happened. So much has happened since then that it would be so weird to think that a few days ago, things were ‘normal.’

That alarm thing was really freaky. o.o I was REALLY wondering what was going to happen at that point. The way you wrote Penny and Rapsheeba reacting to all this was really well done too. They must be beyond devastated now… With Snap so close to death, with the infection and fever to worry about too, I can definitely see how hopeless it would be for them.

Great chapter, and I can’t wait to find out what happens to Snap, and to Rudy and Skrawl back in the Chalk Mine. Great job again!

- Racingwolf

This is getting really intense! Come on, you can do it, Rudy!

I was really glad to see that Skrawl was able to get out of there in time. Interesting how he hesitated though; he does seem like he’s been starting to really care about Rudy and the others, even if only a little bit. It’s a good thing he’s out of the way of danger though. While injured, he wouldn’t be able to stand up to Mr. Cosmo, especially while he’s using the black chalk.

Again, I really like how determined Rudy is to stop Mr. Cosmo and end his reign of terror right here, right now. That he’s so focused on making sure that he doesn’t hurt anyone else, in spite of the odds being stacked against him. Now THAT is the real Rudy, not the black chalk corrupted version that Rudy still somewhat fears may have been himself.

Even though Rudy doesn’t have as much experience, I’m glad that he can still hold his own against Mr. Cosmo, at least managing to block his attacks and avoid getting hit. And he’s right about the fact that, if he told people in the Real World he was kidnapped, they would believe him, as he’s been gone a long time and Cosmo was known to have associated with him at the school.

But even with Cosmo’s injuries and his disadvantage, it still seems like the odds are stacked in his favor. Even though the pain does cause him problems, he’s still a considerable threat, though luckily probably less so than if he wasn’t injured. But it makes sense that the black chalk might have been giving him strength or the ability to ignore pain, like Rudy guessed. And Rudy’s also right in that Cosmo’s disadvantages are still disadvantages; he still has a blind spot that Rudy could use to his advantage.

I liked that it explained why the black chalk wasn’t healing Cosmo. Makes sense that something so twisted would only benefit the user once, to possibly trick them into thinking it was beneficial at first, but that was it. At least Cosmo can’t get Rudy to pick it up again if he was badly injured, since he’d know that wouldn’t help. And Cosmo is so twisted that he’s still trying to get Rudy to join his side. But of course Rudy’s having none of it.

Also, I really like how you wrote this fight scene. It was really engaging and easy to follow what was going on, while being really exciting at the same time. And little details like how Rudy had to be careful not to let the black chalk touch him when he got close to Cosmo just make it that more interesting.

I’m not surprised Cosmo went back to threatening Rudy’s life and trying to force him to give up through having no choice. That’s definitely like him. I think it’s awesome that, in spite of the odds, Rudy still won’t give in.

I’m glad Biclops will be able to help Tsere out while Penny and Rapsheeba get to the hospital. I really liked how you described Penny’s memories of Snap being attacked, and the way she reacted when she looked at him now. This is a lot worse than any way he’s reacted before (which was already plenty serious enough). Not moving at all is a very bad sign…

I had forgotten about the hospital being damaged for a moment. It was a good thing that Penny was knowledgeable enough to be able to restore power to the hospital for the time being. And it makes sense that getting the device out of his head would be the utmost priority, as he likely wouldn’t live otherwise…but this…this is definitely a big risk. Especially as Snap would have been weakened by everything that happened…being carried off, falling off the ledge, the fever getting higher… Crap, I really hope they’ll be able to somehow save him without any permanent damage. D: But this is definitely not looking good.

It’s pretty scary how, even though injured, Cosmo is still faster than Rudy and it’s taking all Rudy’s effort to dodge the attacks. And he was running out of stamina… The idea to shoot the cannon at the stalactites was a good one, and although that ended up destroying his weapon, at least it also destroyed Cosmo’s.

And again with more of Cosmo’s lies…luckily Rudy’s too smart to even consider such things, knowing exactly what Cosmo is capable of. And crap, that part where he injured his hand…I’m not sure if that was his drawing hand, but if it was, that’s definitely going to be a problem. o.o And the fact that he’s on the ground with Cosmo about to murder him in cold blood…that is actually terrifying. I definitely want to see what Rudy’s going to do!

Great, exciting chapter, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

- Racingwolf

Once again, sorry for not reviewing other chapters even though how awesome they were.

HOORAY! SNAP ATTACKED MR. JERK-FACE! Although Mr. Cosmo kicked him right in the mind control device... Crap, this could be really bad (or should I say this WILL be really bad) for Snap. Hopefully Penny and Rapsheeba will get him to the hospital in time or I will punch my wall and cry in the corner for a couple of days.

Ooohhh... Mr. Cosmo and Rudy are gonna fight? MY BETS ON RUDY!

Great chapter and keep going!

(Continued!)

Rudy and Penny’s reactions to that were both heartbreaking…at least Snap is still breathing! But crap, he’s in big trouble… D: I hope that Penny and Rapsheeba can make it to the hospital okay, and that they won’t be too late…

But in spite of all this, Rudy’s determination to stop Cosmo at the end of the chapter was awesome. He was right about everything he said. And I’m really glad he isn’t afraid of him anymore. And I think he’s right with Cosmo being a coward. It really amazing that he’s standing up to him like this. I really wonder how the battle will go. Cosmo has the advantage, the black chalk, but at least with his missing eye, he’s going to be distracted somewhat by pain, and not used to using just one eye. But wow, I can’t wait to see how this goes down!

Great chapter, this is definitely one of my favorites so far!

- Racingwolf

It’s interesting to see that Draow’s been around for so long! I guess he decided (or was told) to lay low until Cosmo’s plan started coming into place. That’s strange, though, how he didn’t speak until that moment, and even Mr. Wilter found it odd. And that thing about the black chalk is really worrying…how it can simply be recreated by those it corrupted. And there are still other artists who have used it that are out there somewhere…and if it does bring memories back, well, that’s a scary thought. It makes me wonder what’ll happen to Mr. Cosmo after all this is over. Mr. Wilter’s right in that letting him simply walk free would be very, very bad…and he’d only end up doing things like this again.

It was sad that every time Snap spoke, you could tell how weak he was getting. D: Even if he wasn’t outright injured again by the recent kidnapping, he was already in pretty critical condition to begin with and anything that would make it even a little worse would be a really big problem. And the fever rising and spreading numbness is scary… o.o

There was really no way to get him to the hospital at that point with the commotion outside the mine, though. And when Draow showed up and attacked them, I really wondered what had happened that Biclops hadn’t been able to hold him off. I was really glad that Mr. Wilter could save Rapsheeba, though Cosmo ran off with Snap… And wow, that part when he said Snap was “so much fun to break”…makes me want to punch that guy. DX But good thing that Rapsheeba was able to slip away from Draow to bring the magic chalk to Rudy and Penny. There would have been a lot of trouble if she hadn’t been able to do that…

Seeing Rudy so distraught about what he was forced to do was really heartbreaking. I’m glad Penny could be there for him, and convince him that it wasn’t him doing those things at all, even if he doesn’t yet fully understand that. I really hope he does, though. All of this was forced on him by the black chalk and Cosmo’s plan. The whole description of what Rudy had gone through while under the black chalk’s control was so freaky… I don’t blame him for being so distraught over the whole thing after that. D:

I’m glad that he knows, at least on some level, that Penny was right and none of that was actually him. It was a warped version of “him” that the black chalk created. But wow, to know you came so close to being gone forever and replaced with…THAT…that would be so frightening. o.o But aww…I hope Penny can get through to Rudy about all this in the end. He did more fighting it than any other artist in the past had, and THAT is a major accomplishment. He really did try his best.

And what he thought about the Zoners shunning him if they’d known…that is a scary thought. D: Hopefully if Skrawl ever decides to mention it, they won’t believe him. XD Or they’ll get the whole story and understand what REALLY happened. But yeah…it’s really great that Penny could help him feel better!

And once again I really like the way you write the emotions and reactions of the characters in this. When Cosmo appeared with Snap, it was really clear how shocked Rudy was, and how horrible Cosmo was for taking him away from the place that was trying to save his life. Even if Snap wasn’t injured again yet at that point, Rudy knows that the fever and infection could easily get out of control without the right medicines. And I also thought it was interesting how even Skrawl was a bit shocked at the whole thing, even though Snap is his enemy and Skrawl doesn’t need him for anything.

And whoa, that part with Ms. Saffron…that was seriously twisted. Definitely something that Cosmo would do…just to mess with them. The title of the chapter is very appropriate; he is a complete monster. And poor Rudy thought it was partially his fault for not warning her…even though he tried his best. No, Mr. Cosmo is the only one at fault here.

But wow, the way he just outright blamed that on Snap… o.o That was just cruel. And the way he said it so blatantly like that… I’m glad that Snap realized exactly what he was doing with that, though.

And yes, hooray for Snap fighting back! That must have taken every ounce of strength he had left, every amount of courage. But that’s awesome that he could finally do something to help stop him, even a bit, after all he had done to all of them. And now that Cosmo is injured, and half blinded, that does give Rudy an edge over him, a better chance of stopping him. And yes, it was awesome that karma finally struck Cosmo back! It was especially fitting that the knife that injured him was the same one he’d used to injure and torment Snap before. Even if Snap didn’t mean for something that serious to happen, it’s definitely what he deserved. Well, at least part of what he deserved.

That fall sounded pretty dangerous to Snap, though. Even if he was lucky in that he didn’t receive any new injuries, that definitely would have harmed his old ones. D: But whoa, I really wasn’t expecting Cosmo to kick Snap in the head like that. o.o That sounded like he was struck really hard…and it hit the mind control device, too…crap, this is not good. D: Snap’s a lot smaller than Cosmo…even being kicked in the head normally would be bad, but with that hole and that device still there…I really am not sure what’s going to happen to him. D:

I don’t blame Mr. Wilter for being so surprised that the hospital was attacked; from his point of view it would seem to make sense that Cosmo would go after Rudy if he entered ChalkZone at all. But to attack the hospital, injure those Zoners and damage a building that was meant for helping and saving lives…that’s just like Mr. Cosmo to do. DX

It’s a good thing that Tsere wasn’t too badly injured that he was inhibited much, and that Mr. Wilter and Rapsheeba could immediately go after him. But they’re definitely right to be worried; away from the medicine that’s fighting the infection and keeping the fever down, Snap’s health is going to spiral downwards again…and it could easily get to life-threatening again. I doubt Draow was very gentle with him, either.

I really like that Mr. Wilter let Rapsheeba come along. I’m glad that he didn’t make her stay. Hopefully she will have a chance to help them in all this! And Mr. Wilter was right, she does know modern ChalkZone much better than he does, and that in itself is a big help.

But their theories for why he kidnapped Snap were awful…I wasn’t surprised when they were correct. Bringing him there just to watch what was happening…that sounds like something Cosmo would want to do.

The whole time Tsere and Draow were fighting, I thought that would be pretty worrying for Snap. With Draow moving around so fast and maneuvering in the air like that, that had to have made Snap’s already frail health worse. D: He even hurt him just to keep him quiet…

And the part with Mr. Wilter realizing that fighting in the air was a mistake was freaky…and Cosmo just dropped Snap like it was nothing. DX And saying he deserved it…what the heck, Mr. Cosmo? But wow, it was both surprising and creepy to see Draow talk. It showed that he was just as eager about all this as his master, and wasn’t just blindly following orders for the sake of obeying his creator.

I’m really glad they were able to save Snap! And that Snap was able to thank them, even in his condition. That was really close, though. o.o I wonder what Cosmo will do now that he realizes Snap survived and is headed into the Chalk Mine with the others. And they really didn’t have any other choice; with Tsere injured, they can’t really go back to the hospital quickly enough, and even though Biclops stopped Draow, Cosmo’s still around, and they can’t really stay out in the open…

I really like how you wrote that part where Rudy was about to kill Penny. The whole thing, their reactions, and how Penny was so worried that she had lost Rudy forever was really well done; the scene was so intense.

For Penny, there really must have been no hope at that point; Rudy was corrupted and Skrawl was injured; she surely felt that she was alone in that point, and knowing that Rudy might never go back to his normal self…that would be so terrifying.

But yes! I was so glad when Rudy started fighting back. He couldn’t do much, but what he could do bought Skrawl enough time. And I really like how you did that; how he didn’t just overcome it so easily, but it took someone else actually removing the source of the corruption from him to fully ‘win’ against it. Hooray for things not being too easy or simple. xD

I felt so bad for Rudy when he realized what had happened. He must feel so horrible for believing he caused the death of those Zoners. Though it really wasn’t him, and he had been forced into taking the chalk in the first place. I loved the part where Penny was trying to calm him. I just hope that he’ll listen to her and she can help him understand and realize things better.

I’m really wondering what’s going to happen…Cosmo won’t be pleased that Rudy broke through the corruption, and I’m not sure how long Biclops could hold of Draow. Even if he could stop him completely, Cosmo himself is the biggest threat. And Snap’s fever and infection are going to get worse pretty fast without being at the hospital, and there’s not much they can do about that now…

Great chapter and I’m excited to see where it goes!

- Racingwolf

That was close! You really had me worried there, but it looks like the tables are turning again.