Excellent! It was so dark and deep and exactly the kind of thing I like to read and live. Positively excellent.

weird at first, but very deep and interesting

Absolutely breathtaking. Exquisite in every sense.

I just loved every part of it.

The vain thing was just awesome, and This was just perfect:

"Can you see me next to her? Can you see me naked and messy, my rosy fingers pushing inside, trying to fuck some innocence in her? Can you see us watch ourselves? Can you see our faces when we for the first time see us together, the highest form of beauty and perfection?"

Yeah, just perfect.

Keep going! I can't wait for the next chapter! It's quite odd but cool that she watches herself masturbate... Keep writing!

I just love this. I've read this so many times and it's just amazing. That mirror-thing and the jump poem. My absolute favourite.

v.v Thankyou.

freaky. but cool. i like dit.

m...wow...very well written! i liked it a lot. wonderful writing.

"I woke up once to the sound of her masturbating, when I opened my eyes I saw her watching herself with my pocket mirror. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. The mirror is useless now; I can’t see myself in it anymore. " great

wow. that's awesome. your writing rocks!

The story needs to have some type of begining and end this story has neither also needs some kind of contents instead of just sex. you cant tell where the story's going.

:)

poety "sin" poety
i love the poety good job

That was really good. You're a great writer! Keep up the great work! _

Wow. That was amazing. I don't think I've ever found something so wonderful and deep on before, great job!

Amazingly written. The poetic aspect added a deep sense to it. It was intense and a bit haunting, and while being semi-graphic, it wasn't dirty. Beautiful.