I hope you continue

Need new chapter. That is all.

OK, when I first read the chapter's title "off my chest!"
I was thinking something totally different.
:D

dang you and your cliffhangers!

I have only one criticism for you so far.
A new paragraph every time the speaker changes.
reading some paragraphs when Jareth and Sara are speaking,
its difficult to tell who's talking without reading the sentence more than once.
that is all. thanks.

A very Interesting Judgement.
But a very fair one at least. Redemption is not out of reach.
I like this story and will keep reading.

Well that was INTENSE!
hahahaha.
I can't wait to see how this plays out.
I will say that you do have a good mix of description and action.
A little more description may be in order though.
As Sam always tells me, use all of your senses.
Sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.
Did Sarah feel cold as the darkness took her? Could she taste the "feel" of the darkness as it consumed her?
Did her father feel the pain of what he had done and what she was doing to him? Did his skin crawl as the electricity of the power flowed through him? Did Sarah feel Jareth's love seep into her, body, bones, and soul as he sang to her? Stuff like that.
But other wise very well written. I couldn't wait to read what happened next, and then after that, and then wanted more. When I find the time, I WILL read the rest of this. :D

I love this! Please update (:

cool story

Well I have read a few chapters now and I like the story so far. I think it's so nice idea to have Sarahs father as fae and to think Toby being able to be born again (don't know why, but it sort of scares me). It was kind of mean to just kill Karen off, but hey, according to story she had it coming.. Love Jareths mother and I'm interested to find more of hes family. Also about the two who want domething bad to them. Hope to get change to read more tomorrow. :)

My gosh :) I just started reading and this is starting so well.. I think I'm going to love this story so much :)

Caper can stop reviewing if all she or he can do is complain. Don't listen to a word! This is a wild and fantastic story and I am loving every word! I can't wait to see how Sarah and Maya save the Underground! Keep writting more! I am rooting for you! Take us home!

Poor Raidon! That had to be hard!

YAY! The bitch is dead!

UH-OH!