Yes! Finally a long story! I liked it a lot and it actually took me more than 5 minutes to read it. I liked the way you sort of rewrote the story. It's cool. Good job!

Incredible story. The descriptions were vivid and real. It felt like I was really there.

dude thats fucked up

it doesnt end like that

have you played the game, he dosent kill her the mast does. he shots the mast

Pretty good, but next time use paragraphs and seperate the speech from the main text.

it's called paragraphs.. use them. You have good writeing techniques.. but you got parts of the story missing and wrong (I.E. You mixed up jack lupino with angelo punchinello)

This is an excellent re-write of the game. Good job.

An Excellent retelling of the story of the game. Description is excellent and recreates the atmosphere of the game.