Greetings. I am obliging your request for review from Reverse Tag.

I'll say right off the bat that I love the interactions with Darwin when Kristin went beside the moon pool. The innocent, teasing nature of Darwin's interactions with Kristin are a nice and soft touch compared to all the darkness that previous chapters had involving the now deceased Len.

That little summarization of her reflecting on what Kristin went through during her ordeal (to include the physical and psychological consequences) add great realism to this tale. Her humanity is quite well shown by her empathy with Len at the most basic level, namely the bereavement for a loved one. That is the most profound and telling part of Kristin's character, her empathy with a woman that was intending to outright murder her.

I also think it neat that she at least tried to talk to Kamik. Hey, she owed him that much given the man managed to save her life. I had to sympathize with the fact that his sister had committed suicide and, worse still, that the full brunt of the prosecution was going to land on his shoulders.

I also appreciated the Bridger/Westphalen scene at the tank, starting with when he startled her with his quiet but not intentionally sneaky approach. Their little heart to heart made me smile. It annoyed me, too, that Agent Moonin (Agent Gibbs with two XX chromosomes) seems to have spearheaded the effort to put a reprimand into Bridger's file. I do understand that orders are orders, but it still does make me feel that it was a tad spiteful on her part.

Right, as far as feels were concerned, the line where Kristin says that his integrity is what she loves about Nathan and the subsequent kiss was a nice little scene that pulled at my heartstrings.

I love the little public display of affection with their hand holding before they get to the launch to Pearl Harbor.

I also like the ending sentence, where our two star crossed lovers (hopefully that reference doesn't have the Bard spinning in his grave) know that the future contains adversity but they can deal with it if they do so together.

That also put a hook in me. Surely there have to be more fan fics of yours following this story for subsequent adventures of the SeaQuest where Bridger and Westphalen are an item. Hopefully we see their wedding in one of your future tales.

An Excellent Work,

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. It's Theodore Hawkwood from Reverse Tag, the Room, once again. I shall oblige you with a review of Hand of Wrath.

Right. Enough prattling and time for a review.

I definitely have to say the first paragraph of this chapter painted a picture quite well in my opinion. I can see the SeaQuest brig clearly in my mind's eye (even if it's been years since I've watched the show) with Crocker standing annoyed and Kamik displaying a very 'Spock-like' calm. It's vaguely reminiscent of Panmunjom to me.

The dialogue between Kamik and Nathan provided a great denouement as well as showing (as opposed to telling) us what motivated Kamik. I have to say you clearly are an author who does her homework because Kamik's tale is reminiscent of a few stories I've heard from many Native American communities (as well as Maori ones in New Zealand) and abusive relationships. Also I find your use of Aleutian terms to add even more authenticity.

In short Kamik is a well developed original character. His story that he tells of his motives for joining Len (and definitely experiencing the equivalent of buyer's remorse), his desire to protect his sister from an abusive husband, and his hope that Bridger understands him are all details that make him a sympathetic character. Glad to see that my initial impression many chapters previous that he was more than just a henchman was an accurate one.

The end of that first scene where Bridger reflects on if the situation were reversed (i.e. Kristin in dangerous circumstances) that he too would be subject to going against his conscience is rather profound. It's also a great way to show the human side of Bridger, because I'm sure under the same circumstances any human being with a heart would be seriously considering Kamik's course of action.

The second section being even more characterization of Kamik was certainly one much hoped for. I did find myself, during the conversation he had with Bridger, wanting to know even more about this character.

I did smile when he got one over on the UEO about the Raven pendant. While he is a criminal, yes, and should be held accountable for his actions, I do feel some sympathy for the character. You do a fine job painting this fellow in a shade of gray.

The story of Kamik's hukka, Kirima, does serve to add a nice little hook. I wonder if her safety will be established in the next chapter. It does compel me to want to read further.

The hooks for me, are Kirima's story arc, whether Kamik's prosecution will be to the fullest extent or mitigated by his cooperation, and Kristin and Nathan starting their lives together.

If this is the first story in a series of a new SeaQuest where Nathan and Kristin are openly in a relationship, then I find myself compelled to read it.

Great job.

Glad to get you in Reverse Tag once again and I now I can start the denouement of this particular tale.

Right, now onto the roleplay.

I have to say the title grabbed my attention, Sine Qua Non. Yet another bit of a foreign language, in this case Latin, that caused me to briefly take a gander at the Miriam-Webster dictionary website. Not a bad thing, by the way. The translation of 'Something that is absolutely needed' functioned as a neat little hook.

One it's a neat hook because it functions as something telling the reader that there is a need for a denouement before a conclusion. And two because I can picture the 'Something that is absolutely needed' being a discussion that Bridger and Westphalen absolutely need to have. The latter, far more than the former, is what compels me to read this tale further.

The steady beeping of the EKG being the noise that Kristin awakens to is rather standard but not to the point that it's cliche. In any case you do well to include what she'd likely hear or see upon returning to wakefulness.

I like the fact that for both Bridger and Westphalen you had them coming into wakefulness at roughly the same time. The two scenes were of an adequate length to show the principle two characters for this scene waking up and (hopefully?) getting ready to talk.

And in the third scene when Tonya asks Kristin is she ready for a visitor I have to admit I was thinking 'please say yes'. And lo and behold I was pleasantly surprised.

I had to smile at the dialogue. Bridger's line about 'getting used to watching Kristin sleep' is endearing and sweet. Reminds me of the Aerospace song from Armageddon, Don't Wanna Close My Eyes.

The apology and the make-up and the kiss at the nearing end of this scene were all well done with not an iota of excessive melodrama. I definitely had to smile about the idea of the 'small town' rumor mill of such a small boat getting in on the captain and medical officers' relationship.

I have to say the ending line about the guest deciding to talk, but only to Bridger to be a great little hook for the next chapter. I'm glad Kristin's alright, and she and Bridger are on the road to a new chapter in a life spent together (to include being subject of ship rumor mill, but whatever).

I must say it's a well written tale. A great denouement begins here.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. I'm glad to get you again in the Reverse Tag. It's been ages since I've reviewed this particular fanfic.

Right, now onto the review.

I like how you're opening this chapter with Kamik's equivalent of buyer's remorse for having aligned himself with Len in the first place. I get that sense within the first four paragraphs. The most effective ways you show as opposed to tell this particularly lovely fact is that sentence where you say he should have realized this fact from the start.

The subsequent line of walking a fine line between assuring Len of his loyalty and trying to retain his sanity (oh and his life) while working for a mad woman. His reflecting on these regrets is a good little break from the action of the last chapter before it begins again with Bridger and company entering the fold.

I like the little touch of the flooding of the base through the sealed and failing water tight doors, it clearly illustrates the predicament of the cast if they don't leave Len's secret base somehow.

Starting the second section from Ben's perspective was another great touch. You do a great job of showing the anxiety he has to be feeling while his friends and colleagues risk their lives and he's basically stuck waiting. I'm tempted to make a waiting for Godot reference here but it eludes me at the moment.

Ben is concentrating on piloting the boat, true, but you also capture the suspense as to the fragile state of affairs for Dr. Westphalen very well when he's catching snippets of the conversation Dr. Levin is having with SeaQuest. And even more helpful for suspense building is the fact that due to weather the communications are starting to act up. It certainly makes me wonder if Dr. Westphalen can be saved. The severe hypothermia and asphyxiation pneumonia lines not only show Levin's medical expertise, but also highlight Dr. Westphalen's critical condition well.

The tension from the earlier scene of the tense ten minute ride back to SeaQuest continues when the patients of the mass casualty scenario that was the past chapter arrive at Sickbay. The combative Len resisting all treatment and muttering nonsense is a touch of showing how the sudden immersion in ice cold sea water affected her as well as her already precarious mental health. And finally that section ends on a suspenseful note when the need to inform Dr. Levin arises. I'm left with the question 'inform him of what'.

But you transition into the part where Bridger is needing to undergo treatment, touching on that particular thread of the story. Good characterization here, because his one fear of not being able tell her he loves her is definitely shown without it being melodramatic.

It provides for a good transition to several hours later when Bridger regains consciousness and the denouement can (hopefully) begin. It seems like it will be a gradual denouement given there are three more chapters left before the epilogue. But that's not a jab at the story in the least.

Well I'm glad Bridger is getting his relief because Kristin is stable if unconscious. And that he got some news about that alarm he was worried about. That sure concludes Len's storyline, given she's dead, unless she had something more nefarious for her final revenge hidden. But that's a matter of a different kind.

I like the ending sentences' imagery. The steady beeping of the cardiac monitor and the fact that tomorrow is hopefully a chance for a reconciliation and a new beginning. The question of what Kristin's awakening is going to bring makes for a rather compelling hook for the next chapter.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. It's Theodore Hawkwood from Review Tag once again. Good to catch you again.

Right, now onto the review. I'll have you know I'm writing as I read.

I'll tell you the first thing that caught my eye was the title, Amor Vincit Tenebrae. It caused me to make a google run to see what it meant. A couple mouse clicks later I found out the title translates into 'Love Conquers All'. It definitely gave me a ray of hope that Kristin's salvation will be at hand. But I do have to read on further to see if this is, in fact, the case.

I will say that you captured the tension felt by all hands aboard SeaQuest with the first few paragraphs. The fact that the usual whispered banter over headsets or between crewmembers on neighboring stations has all but vanished captures that rather well.

The call from Special Agent Callie Moonin (Gibbs with two XX Chromosomes for sure) was another thing that caught my attention. I'll admit it is partially because I enjoy the fact that she's a female Gibbs (inevitably making me wonder how those two would work together on a case). The argument between her and Bridger was certainly on-point, and I could honestly sympathize with both characters, Bridger trying to rescue the woman he loves as well as someone who's a valued crew member and Moonin trying to save an innocent life but also attempting to do so without undue risk.

Nathan's thought at the end of the first scene, the one where he's mentally hoping that Kristin will hold on, was short, simple but expressed quite a lot. Especially to me, who has been reading this story rather steadily.

Crocker's aggravation about going in blind really speaks to me, to be honest. No one in military or law enforcement situations likes the notion of going in blind for anything.

In that same scene you do a great job of showing how far back Crocker and Bridger go back. The phrases that readily come to mind here are 'for he feared the reaction if they did not' and 'just how stubborn his friend was'. These show Bridger's resolve (and Crocker's knowledge of that) in addition to Crocker's knowledge of how Bridger would likely react to finding Kristin in less than one piece.

Somehow I wasn't surprised Nathan broke away from the main squad trying to find Kristin on his own. I definitely was damned sure Len accounted for THAT in her plan. It was a nice cliffhangar for that particular portion.

I definitely like the fight scene around the pool and the fall into the water. The suspense was killing me as to what would transpire. Somehow I guessed Bridger would triumph, partially due to the title of the chapter, about love conquering all.

I somehow thought Len was going to perish in that fight, but somehow I also wasn't surprised that she survived this chapter. She does, after all, have a few more chapters to cause mayhem. It does put a hook in me to wonder just what mayhem she may yet cause. Or if she somehow survives this entire story in order to cause mayhem and havoc.

Dexter's words about Kristin being found but NOT looking good definitely was a grab at the heart for me. I hope that they can save her and the translation of the chapter's title does give me hope for her survival.

The ending of the chapter about the 'greater danger yet to manifest' makes me wonder just what other thing Len has planned.

Great writing as always.

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. It's Theodore Hawkwood from Reverse Tag, the Room once again. Here to continue to read and review this excellent fanfiction of yours.

Right, now to get on with it.

I have to say that the first paragraph definitely grabs and engages the reader right then and there with what she is going through. We saw that near drowning in cold water torture numerous times through this story, but we're seeing it with fairly descriptive writing, here in these first two paragraphs. She's kicking and struggling for that primal urge but someone's holding her underwater. Something horrifying yet so well described. Way to go.

Len's first words after a damn near drowned Kristin Westphalen from the ocean were certainly a demonstration of her psychotic mental state for one thing. I definitely could see the intended symbolism in these near drownings as a way to get her point across to Kristin.

I definitely thought, as I finished the second segment of this chapter, that the chill Nathan was feeling after that odd dream wasn't about to fade away anytime soon.

In the third scene one thing that caught my attention was the translated Aleutian language poem. This was for two reasons. The first was Tim's explanation about how native languages are tough to translate because no formal lexicon quite exists because they're passed down orally (this particular line is a small way of showing you as an author who clearly does solid research). The second was the piece where you mention darkness not stopping because it reminded me about Darwin's dialogue with Bridger in the previous chapter. For me it puts a hook in me wondering how helpful Darwin's going to be in finding Kristin. I shall, of course, wait till the next chapter to get that question answered.

I definitely found that third scene to be quite a good little read in and of itself. The translating the Aleut text poem from Len and the reasoning the characters applied afterward in their analysis was a great way to show the talented intellect of the SeaQuest crew.

I had to grin about the line of dialogue where Bridger elected not to wait for the NCIS team (I imagine Agent Moonin being fairly irate at the results). It was a nice little smile/wry grin moment in the midst of the darkness.

I can only imagine Nathan's emotional state that he's trying to ensure he has a handle on because he has to make good decisions in this very tense time. All in all this is definitely an intriguing read and it has me on the edge of my seat hoping Kristin can be rescued and she and Nathan can kiss and make up after the quarrel they'd had earlier in the tale.

Your SPAG is flawless throughout this tale.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. It's Theodore Hawkwood from Reverse Tag again. Great to get you again. And now to the review.

First off I definitely found Special Agent Callie Moonin's first line to not only be fitting for the circumstances, but also one that would sound like it came from an NCIS agent of another fandom. Namely that of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. For whatever reason I could swear those two are exactly alike personality-wise by that first quote. Agent Moonin going toe to toe with Gibbs would be a most amusing sight, methinks.

I think you characterized Agent Moonin quite well, and the reactions of the rest of the crew to her were pretty good as well. Namely Chief Crocker, Captain Bridger, and Doctor Levin's reactions to her scathing words were most on point.

A little further into this chapter and I definitely did get yet another dose of the feels. It is sad to see that our young Charli did not survive the end of the past chapter. It is tragic because she was well thought of as a brilliant young intern, to include by the abducted Dr. Westphalen. But she made her choice, even if it had permanent consequences.

At the end of the meeting in the wardroom I definitely was left with another nice little hook, namely hoping that Lucas' technological skills would help pinpoint Len and her lair. And through the whole meeting I definitely shared the crew's 'ah-ha' moments where Dr. Levin revealed who Len actually was and her connection with the late Marilyn Stark. For whatever reason I compared and contrasted Dr. Levin's explanation with how Ducky from NCIS would approach a similar situation and had to smile at that juxtaposition.

The scene by the moon pool, with Nathan Bridger, was yet another great dose of the feels. It shows the inner turmoil he must be feeling, especially the self-recrimination about if he hadn't fussed at Kristin over Darwin's injury that nothing would've happened. Well, that can't be guaranteed, for sure, but that was certainly a powerful inner monologue.

That little dialogue with Darwin at the moon pool was pretty sweet, but to me it was clearly more than just a bit of fluff. I can't help but think that the Shadow Rock and Dark Sky phrase is a clue of some sort and that Bridger or someone on the crew may well sort out what that means. I do hope that he does fill his promise to Darwin.

The fatalism that Len approaches Bridger ultimately finding them, together with her psychological analysis is a mixture of coldly analytical and dangerously psychotic. And I can't help but think that Kamik's thoughts near the end regarding the instability of Len juxtaposed with the geological instability of their base are some sense of ominous foreshadowing for subsequent chapters.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. It's Theodore Hawkwood once again from the Reverse Tag. I am glad to once again have gotten a hold of you during the Reverse Tag game.

Right, now for the review.

I think, first off, the first paragraph is excellent characterization of Kristin. It shows her emotional reactions to struggling to catch her breath after her near drowning at the hands of Len's hired muscle, Walt. You bring some great imagery of her coughing and gasping. It also rather neatly shows her more clinical mindset to what she was going through at the moment as she assess the medical risks of hypothermia and pneumonia if these near drowning moments continue.

With the first section I definitely think the dialogue between the Len and Kristin was excellent. I could hear Len's menacing and semi mocking tone, particularly when (in my mind's ear) she practically spat out the words, 'Saintly Nathan Bridger'.

If nothing else this definitely showed us that Len clearly isn't right in the head (delusional possibly) but definitely resolved. I shudder to think what is about to befall Kristin. I do hope the good doctor can be rescued and fast.

The conversation between Kamik, Walt, and Len is definitely a great display as to how deeply disturbed the woman is. What makes Len such an effective villainess I think is the fact that she seems to have thought her plan through, as horrifying as it is. The touch with the virus aimed at SeaQuest is nicely done. I do hope that if it does strike SeaQuest we get to see Lucas' brilliance as he manages to deftly defeat the bloody thing and get them back on the tail of the miscreants that have abducted Kristin.

I found that detail, 'twenty-one steps' to nicely describe the cell in which Charli is currently confined. I find the technique of repeating that measurement twice in subsequent sentences to be a great way to show the audience what a cramped space she is imprisoned in for her transgression. It shows her as feeling trapped, as do her memories of talking to Layla/Len.

Wow, nice characterization of Charli when you mention how cold and unsupportive her parents are. Hate to say this, but they certainly had a role in messing up that poor girl's life. That being said she still made the conscious decision to aid and abet Len and her mad scheme.

And I also think that her father is an abusive prick who deserves a kick to a rather sensitive body part with a pair of steel toed boots worn by a powerlifter or karate master because he messed his daughter up badly enough. But that's just a personal thought of mine.

I again appreciate the cliffhangar at the end as I'm wondering if Balducci and Stayton are going to be able to apply basic first aid quickly enough to ensure that Charli doesn't bleed out.

Great story, again, and I'm glad to be able to review you once again.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

Greetings. Long time no see/review, it's Theodore Hawkwood again from a new review game with an early (at least from my part of the world) Easter gift of a review of your excellent fanfic.

Right, enough of that now, time for the review.

And the first thing I noticed about the first scene is that it is a more complete view of Marilyn Stark's death scene, from her perspective. It's a nice carryover from Chapter 7 where we saw Marilyn's death scene from Len's perspective.

Two things I think you did very well in that first scene:

1) You completed the garbled transmission we've seen at least twice in this story, thus adding more depth to Marilyn's last words.
2) Relating to the first point, your treatment of said last words was such that repeating them served a purpose to advance the plot by adding more emotional impact.

The theme of madness was covered well enough by the first section that you could have made it its own chapter and the title's name, 'Through A Veil of Madness' would have been quite accurate.

Now the second scene was another piece of the plot I was looking forward to, that is what would happen if Charli Barrett were under interrogation.

There was a minor issue I noted, that is the calling of Chief Manilow Crocker sir by Ensign Stayton. Given Statyton, as an ensign is a commissioned officer and Senior Chief Crocker is a Chief Petty Officer (and thus junior in rank to Stayton) he shouldn't be calling him sir. Stayton would call him 'Senior' or 'Senior Chief', not sir, since Crocker is not a commissioned officer senior in rank to Stayton.

Military nitpick aside this segment was pretty good, because it put a hook in me asking just what that piece of evidence Stayton found and gave to Crocker. Bravo for that small hook for making me want to read further into the tale (as if I needed any compelling reason to keep reading).

I have to admit I had a dose of the feels when Bridger recounted to Charli that Dr. Westphalen had been most kind to her, and that Charli, through her complicity with Ms. Psycho (i.e. Len's) scheme is throwing her life away. I do hope Charli goes 'back to the light' and tells the crew what she knows so they can effect Dr. Westphalen's rescue, otherwise it will be most tragic to see a clearly talented student through years of hard work away.

Now the scene in the wardroom was yet another dose of the feels as we got to see Kristin being tortured by Len and her accomplice. Bridger really is in a helluva an emotional state, but you do show his resolve when he makes that promise (in his mind) that he's going to get her out of this situation.

I like the little touches you have in the dialogue Bridger has with Len. Len, though she is mad with grief, is clearly a calculating psychopath. I mean she's playing on the emotional connection Bridger has with Kristin to the full hilt. I found her toying with Kristin's hairclip to be a nice little touch in that scene I must admit.

I'll also add that the dawning comprehension (for Bridger) as to whom Len was seeking to avenge was a great note to end that particular section of the chapter on.

I also liked Lucas' dialogue with Ben about 'I'm not a kid'. You present his frustration at being unable to solve the technical problem well. But then he has that breakthrough near the end and I do hope that it does put them on the path to the rescue of Dr. Westphalen.

Now the last piece is a bit of character development for Len. She's clearly mad, but she still has a conscience. That line about her questioning is it worth it when she's done, and that what she will do won't bring Mari home shows that this woman is a complex villainess. Still doesn't make me sympathize much with her, though, as she's still a horrible person.

The ending with the order she gave Walt and Kamik makes me dread what's in store for Kristin in the immediate future.

As usual, very good writing and lovely to see you again.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood

I am sorry to see this story end. It brought back some fond memories of this show and I've looked forward to your updates. ;) I kinda miss the old days when I first discovered fan fiction.

:) Had to re-read this to make sure I remembered the details. Love the way you're explaining the characters' reasons for their actions.

Fantastic opening paragraph. Where did you research this stuff? I’ve never been in a situation like this before, so I have no idea how a person’s body would react. Showing Kristin’s frustration by having her pound her fists on the floor was a fantastic detail. Really shows how helpless she is.

Nathan hurt his hand last chapter. Kristin hurts her hand this chapter, albeit less severely. Nice touch.

Good exchange between Len and Kristin. I really have to admire Kristin’s bravery, even in the face of her impending death she’s not collapsing and still has the strength to be pissed the hell off.

Nice use of the sunset as a backdrop for the conversation between Len and her cronies. The tremors and smoking volcano really add to the tension.

I like how the lies Len feeds Charli aren’t entirely lies, at least from Len’s point of view. She even picked names similar to her and Marli’s real names. I’m surprised Len didn’t turn out to be her cousin. I guess the whole “cuz” thing in their e-mails was to throw them off the trail in case they got ahold of her laptop.

I feel really bad for Charli. I hope she doesn’t die.

Finally caught up!

“Testicular fortitude” is a great little phrase, it says a lot about Mari. She’s a tough lady. Maybe even thinks of herself like one of the boys. I liked the little details about her relationship with Len. The scene of Mari’s death is beautifully written. I especially liked that last line. Great exchange with the pirates, too. For a little while I thought this would be a twist and Mari would actually survive.

Although, I wonder about revealing the circumstances behind her death so soon. In the previous chapter you made it seem as though the seaQuest was responsible for destroying her craft and it seems a bit odd to shatter that illusion in the very next chapter. Of course I’m not familiar with the episodes you’re referencing, so perhaps this is common knowledge.

I like your reveal of Kristin’s ID. You explained what it was without actually coming out and saying it right away, which as a reader I found really enjoyable, since you left me to figure it out for myself.

Interesting revelation about Charli. I’ve been wondering whether her graduate work was legit. Nathan seems to think she doesn’t fully understand what’s going on, but I wonder. Maybe Len offered her something in exchange for her assistance?

The bit where Crocker reiterates Nathan’s feelings for Kristin felt a little redundant. I feel you’ve done a good enough job establishing Nathan’s relationship with Kristin that you don’t need to repeat it again, especially during such a tense moment when the reader is focused on the suspense.

Oh snap, a reporter fed Len information? I really wasn’t expecting that.

Goddamnit I love Len. She’s such a perfect villain. I love the way she plays with Kristin’s hair clip while tormenting Nathan, that’s such an awesome touch.

Noticed a slight inconsistency: Lucas shouldn’t have to listen to the audio when he’s decoding the message. He could simply turn off the computer’s speaker. Otherwise, nice work with the hacker talk. I have no idea what it means but it sounds like Lucas does!

Fantastic work overall.

Okay, seaQuest. Not a fandom I’m familiar with…in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it. Wait…I think I saw a YouTube play through of a game that sounds similar but ay danno :P
Shouldn’t be too much of a problem, though.

Lol, Internex.

Okay, so that is definitely some serious beef that this ‘Len’ has with Dr Westphalen…and if as it seems because they murdered his…partner?…then I guess that’s quite justified. I’m going to assume the dead woman is the Marilyn Stark of the summary?

The prologue has already piqued my interest, and that’s a good thing. However my lack of familiarity with the fandom hampers it a little. Nevertheless I liked it…though I’m not sure how much I can comment on the writing style given how short it is.

Moving on to the first chapter…

I like the description of the dresses. Very concise, but just enough to give me a snapshot image of them.

The dialogue-heavy section after works really well, I think; it flows, it feels natural, and I’m already feeling slightly awkward with the sort-of argument between Ben and Katie. Again, however, non-fandomness means I don’t really know what these people look like or why you refer to Lucas as a ‘boy’…I’m assuming he’s not a child, given he apparently is in the Navy, but still. This isn’t a criticism, by the way – I’m not saying you should assume everyone knows nothing about the fandom, heaven forbid – it’s just an observation. I certainly wouldn’t bother describing, say, Harry Potter in a fic unless he’s radically different from canon.

Okay, so Lucas is a little younger than I assumed, given he’s enjoying the company of a teen. And now I’m confused again.

Well, that ended on a vaguely bittersweet note. I thought the whole dance sequence was really well done, and the romantic scene between Nathan and Kristin was beautiful.

I have a few small criticisms to make about the writing style. It seems a little stilted – nothing overt, just that occasionally the short sentences feel like I’m being (to use the tired phrase) told, not shown. I can’t really pick on an example, and I know I’m hardly one to talk, but it still feels that way. Another one would be starting sentences with ‘But’. That feels wrong. Is it, grammatically? I don’t know, I never really bothered studying it – my whole knowledge of English grammar comes from reading a *lot*.

Those small niggles aside, I really liked this. Now, how does one end a review…rem…well done?

Satan :)

Hello there, good to see you once more in the review game. Glad I was able to get you again for reviewing.

Right, now onto the review proper.

I'd like to first emphasize I've never seen the episode that is referenced by the first two lines and forms Bridger as Len's White Whale (couldn't resist the Moby Dick reference, but Len makes for a great Ahab with two X Chromosomes).

I apologize for the slight tangent in the previous paragraph but that was to amplify my upcoming point: Your. First. Three. Paragraphs Were. Bloody. Powerful.

For the first line I could hear Marilyn Stark's last transmission in my mind's ear even with only a very basic understanding of what happened canonically (Wikipedia was quite helpful in that regard). Even in text form and in italics (to indicate a memory) it definitely was a gripping sort of thing.

The second paragraph was also quite gripping to me because it added a shade of grey to Len's otherwise 'dark' personality. You did a wonderful job of showing her as a woman who is mourning her lover. I found that last sentence where the last burst of static was akin to a death knell to be a heart tugging touch and in that sense I did feel some empathy towards Len even if she is a villain. It was a great job to show her as a more complex character that we can still hate, but still have some empathy towards.

The third paragraph does a great service to the fear of every sailor (or any who set foot on any watercraft) that of drowning. It was quite reminiscent of moments in great submarine movies like Das Boat, U-571, and Crimson Tide, so great job after that fact.

Even that first sentence that told us that Len tried everything short of hardcore drugs to escape her torment touches at the basic human experience of mourning.

That sympathy, at least to me, wound up going away somewhat in the fourth sentence. Especially with the depiction how Len's mind conjured what happened to Mari in her final moments. I now wonder just what is in store for Dr. Westphalen.

So in the first segment of the chapter alone you've managed to make me, as a reader, feel some sympathy for the main villain and also remind me that she is in fact a villain in roughly the same breath. I find that a wonderful touch.

Chief Shan's questioning of Charli was well done. I wonder when exactly they're gonna figure that Charli had scanned Dr. Westphalen's ID? It looks like her story of not seeing the good doctor isn't likely to check out, but I shall wait and see how that is in fact going to unfold.

I found that scene with Cynthia Westphalen to be a scene of interest to me. Not only does it show the relationship Cynthia has with her mother and with Bridger, but it also showcases an interesting technique (writing-wise) for depicting conversations over communication systems of any sort. I found it fascinating that you used italicized words to refer to Bridger's words, as the party at the distant station. As I'm used to writing thoughts in italics, that technique caught my attention in a hurry.

Alright, technical piece aside, it was still a scene that conveyed the mood of Cynthia quite well. She's clearly upset, frustrated that both NCIS and now Bridger (seems like she was expecting less vagary from Bridger - whom she knows I gather - versus strangers from NCIS) is VERY obviously not helping matters in an emotional sense. Malique coming in to comfort was a nice way to end this scene, even though I'm not even sure if Malique is canon or another OC.

And now the next time Kristin meets Len served as a stark contrast. I wasn't quite sure if I should simply view her as a woman driven mad by mourning, or someone who was aware of her lover's actions prior to the latter's death.

The near drowning, or the cold sea-water torture that Len inflicted definitely shows the woman to be a cruel sort, every bit as much as Marilyn Stark sounds like she might've been as Kristin's mental descriptor of her as ruthless seems to point out.

A nice little ending of the chapter, with the transmission from NCIS to SeaQuest and indicating that Charli's story didn't add up, what with the School ID piece being brought up. I definitely think Charli is about to get a good talking to/interrogation in the next chapter.

In either case this was yet another great chapter to yet another great fanfiction that I enjoyed even with relatively scant SeaQuest knowledge. Thank you for authoring this work.

Theodore Hawkwood