I can't wait for the next chapter so please update this soon.

This is a fun and different take. I will look forward to more.

this is stupid but has great idea

Huh. This looks interesting. This'll probably be quite a ride!

I must say, as a follower of yours, this fic has problems. it's an old one so it's to be expected but still, I'm honestly taken aback at just how much of an *utter douche* Saito it. He mocks her for not understanding stuff, but then gets mad at her when... she doesn't understand stuff. Like a washing machine, or shoes. Oh, and then mocking her for being a religious fanatic... yeah, at this point, Louise is the victim here and Saito is just... ugh.

I wanted her to kick him in between the legs throughout the entire thing. HARD. I get the idea behind it, but the problem is, Louise has literally done nothing wrong. She never committed any crimes, but Saito did, and the whole idea of society being okay with this is disturbing.

And what makes it worse is that, in the LN, Louise only acted like a bitch to Saito cause of several cases of him acting like an idiot... like trying to grope her through her blouse. Looking for a camera to be fair, but still it was a more legit reason to be mad than being mad at being taken from home.

Like I said, I know this is an old fic, and News Feed is proof of how far you've come in writing skill (Take the hint and get writing!) but it's really kinda shocking in some places.

Anyway, best of luck.

I'm not going to lie, it feels really hypocritical to praise seeing Louise in the position, but whenever it's Louise doing it the cries of 'slavery!' never cease.

Also, it seems FF ate your chapter.

Seeing Louise in the inferior position is a rather interesting change; she doesn't have the same protectoins for het tattered pride

hmm, Saitan's Gate is always active, it doesn't triggers with the eclipses. That's just one of the fuck ups the anime did, one of the many many many many things the anime got wrong.

You know, I find it rather hard to buy that they're living in a modern world when Saito treats Louise as subhuman. You would think that in a world post human rights movement (and where magic is apparently also public knowledge), that human rights would also be extended to human familiars. Frankly, the disparity between the two is all the more jarring for the fact that Saito should know better.

So Saito expects a girl who he knows is essentially from the middle ages to figure out and operate a washing machine? Seems legit.

Follow Your Dreams! (Cheesy Alert) xD

Truly justified.

Oh my... Louise messed up. Intriguing...

I can understand where you are coming from - I went the other way around - wrote an initial novel, self-published it on , discovered and started reading stories, and wound up creating a series of stories to explore my ability to write in this genre.

If your work turns out to be similar, it may not be classified as a rip-off - Ms. Rowlings didn't create the genre but she did create the Harry Potter universe. If you keep from duplicating her universe and its characters, then you probably would be called derivative at worst. Try to be original if at all possible. My novels (the one published and the ones still unfinished) are all based on what I've read over 50 years - fiction, science fiction, fantasy, romance, romantic comedy, films. The hundreds if not thousands of books have added breadth and depth to my writing and

Put out your magnum opus on a site like smashwords, cross post where to pick it up on here and let us give you a review. If it is anything like what you've been writing here, . ?termMary%20Sue will defintiely not apply.

Thanks for mentioning this, I'm going to have to self-critique myself to make sure that I'm not creating Mary-Sues myself.

Please come back and finish this! Also, the best of luck on your future endeavours.

SAO is my favorite anime XP just saying...and if it was a total disaster then it wouldn't be popular enough to get a second season starting this July, don't speak ill of something like its a fact when its really an opinion. I'm sad your not going to write anymore cuz I really enjoyed this fanfic. I'll keep following this story in case you change your mind...Till then good luck.