I see you either lack respect for your readers or your truly a seven year old writing a story.

Well done with the lemon

Grammar of a child I see. What can I expect this is fanfiction? Home to the shittiest stories out there! Why am I even here...

... sigh ... Dude this story is hard to read. I feel like just giving up trying to read it.

The bate not a bate grammer mistakes like that is so annoying ... one after another after another every thing eles is good but is ruined by the former you know ... sorry about flames but i hop its constructive and not burning ...

I thought that touka would have the first lemon. Oh well. This is a great story and I hope you update soon. I know it is overkill but I kind of want to see naruto use Kirin or a perfect susanoo

Great chapter story so far please continue this story soon.

i always envied those who can freely write how to express love (lemon), everytime i do so, i will always enticed to turn it into rape or NTR. but honestly... i think it is preferable if it was more romantic. you know... something like Condor Heroes would be good.

it is good to be physical but i think in writing, the expression felt between the atmosphere shared by both the lover would be more preferable for the readers. after all... being too descriptive in physical description would made it lack the emphaty shared to the reader.

so why don't you consider it?

Yes continue. And first lemon to short but this first time right so i think is fine you can learn from read lemon story
The Contract By: YagamiNguyen . Is dam good heavy lemon

DarkChild316, story author,
Fox King jm. some story is lemon

Ugh, can't get into your story I only have read about a quarter or a third. can you get a beta reader...

anyway good luck, it looks good and Romance of the 3 kingdom is almost always good.

Just some of your mistake regarding this chapter
Jumbled sentences.
Is and are are not used correctly.
Capital letter in the middle of sentences and it isn't use in a name.
Missing punctuation marks.
Future, present and past tense are mixed.

So from what I can tell from this chapter is that you've heard about the new Koihime game that's coming out and have seen the images of Sonken Bundai, Kaishin, and Empress He.

Very good chapter and the lemon was very good

Nice

Ok I know most of the Koihime character but who are those merchant girls Ai, Yue and Ne? I don't remember hearing their names in any of the Koihime games or anime I've seen. Anyways there are some small grammar errors here and there but all in all this is still a nice story

ok good luck on exam