Just out of curiosity why do you call Twilight's mom Twilight Twinkle instead of her cannon name of Twilight Velvet?

epic

very good.

How strange. How very strange. To begin with, I just read four-hundred fifty thousand words about ponies. I don't even LIKE My Little Pony! But this is crossed with Nanoha, so it may have been something of an inevitability.

Speaking of which, this is a Nanoha story that really isn't gay at all. Maybe it says something about my proclivities that I find this even a bit jarring. And though I don't profess to knowing too terribly much about the pony fandom, my general impression has been that also spends a lot of time frolicking in the lily fields. Coupled with the tightness of my goggles, I find this rather odd (Admittedly, this is a personal thing.) I get the distinct sense you get your digs in on our tribe at times, though: Luna ribbing Celestia about Twilight's idolatry, and the tsuntsun Trixie/Twilight vibe that I may just be imagining near the end.

Digging deeper, the degree to which these two canon have been twined together is unexpectedly interesting, and the interplay between bureau mages and the Equestrian rulers is never dull. In truth, Luna and Celestia are the most interesting characters, and the flashbacks and explosion of the past are entertaining. Maybe it was intentional, but they tend to steal any scene they're in. Badass pony-gods are surely a welcome surprise. ("You. Will. Burn.")

The handling of Fate is another strange point. The whole thing where she's apparently become a pony permanently raises a bunch of questions. Has she even tried to assume her old form? And then a strong platonic sister bond is established with the main character. I guess that's a sort of thematic closure?

The mechanics of ponies holding things isn't even something I want to speculate on.

Also, my compliments on your diction, grammar, and structure. Even on things that people generally flub, you carried the day (though I may have noticed one instance of taking a different "tact". Or it may have been someone else; I cannot recall). And no breaking narrative flow with author's notes and other banalities. I approve.

I fully expect there are things I'm forgetting, but this is dragging long enough. I suppose I'll begin reading about the exploits of Dr. Spaghetti and his miscreants next. Well met!

My thoughts are slightly conflicted here.

In one hand, it is a nice enough story that is very well written and it certainly deserves considerably more attention than FFN seems to have given it.

In the other hand, this fic plays it safe. There are positive sides to this, but ultimately I find the lack of originality in the overall plotline a missed opportunity.

The story is a very good read, but not a terribly memorable one.

Here is for hoping I enjoy StrikerS even more.

This chapter was pure awesome especialy the fight scenes with Celestia seriously shes the greatest and most badass princess ever!

Wow, this story is just so good. I love how you incorporate the original characters from both worlds together. I don't know why this doesn't have more reviews, but you definitely have a loyal reader awaiting the next update.

A good chapter, and overall good story. I really enjoy reading Fate and Luna's interacting with each other. Can't wait for more :)

looks great so far. keep it up.

THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU! You are a GOD!