No Sanity Without Electricity

Cuts to: Marsh Residence, Morning. A man on a bicycle rides by and chucks a newspaper at the front door. it lands on the welcome mat.

Cuts to: Stan's Room. Stan is sleeping. His alarm clock goes off; it reads 11:00. Stan gets up, and a second later, the power goes out.

Stan (Bewildered and Puzzled): What the Hell?

Shelly (Yelling from her room nearby): GODDAMN IT! I WAS TALKING TO A NICE BOY ONLINE AND THE FUCKING POWER WENT OUT! (She comes out of her room and runs into Stan in the hallway)

Stan: Well ,it's probably just the weather (He gestures to the window). You can see dark clouds outside. I'm going to brush my teeth and hit the shower. (He goes to the bathroom. Water can be heard turning on)

Stan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! THAT'S FREEZING! (Shelly laughs)

5 Minutes Later, Stan is seen walking out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, and without his hat.

Cuts to: Stan's room. Stan walks in and gets his mobile phone to call Kyle. 2 Rings are heard, until Kyle picks up. The scene cuts between Stan's bedroom and Kyle's living room.

Stan: Hey Kyle, it's Stan. How's it going?

Kyle (Ike is sitting next to him): Oh great. Ike and I are watching a 'Family Guy' rerun right now.

Stan: Wait. So, your power isn't out from the weather?

Kyle: No, it's not. And the weather isn't that bad.

Stan: Oh. Well, the main reason I called was to see if your power was out.

Kyle: Well, it's not. (While Kyle is talking to Stan, Ike is heard laughing at the TV and Herbert the Pervert's voice can be heard on the TV)

Herbert (On the TV): Do you like popsicles?

Chris: Well Sure.

Herbert: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I have a whole freezer full of popsicles. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Stan: OK, well let me call Cartman.

Kyle hangs up and Stan calls Cartman. Cartman is on the couch playing on hid Xbox when Stan rings. Cartman answers.

Stan: Hey. Is your power out?

Shelly (To Stan): Hey. Do you think it could be because of the late bill?

Stan (To Cartman): Hold on Cartman, my sister needs me.

He turns his attention to her, and she holds up the bills. All have 'Late Warning' labelled on them.

Stan: You think so?

Shelly (Frustrated): Put tow-and-two together you stupid turd! Your friends have electricity and we don't!

Stan: Holy Shit! (Gets back on the phone) Okay Cartman. I now realise that my parents ran late paying the electricity bill.

Cartman (Laughing): Hey, you have no electricity like Kenny. Ha, and your Dad has been arrested for drinking and driving! Hey! Maybe you have an alcoholic dad like Kenny! (He continues laughing)

Stan (Who is pissed off)- I'll kick your ass, so fucking hard, Cartman! (He hangs up)

Stan calls Sharon.

Cuts to: Tom's Rhinoplasty Waiting Room. Sharon isn't that busy when her phone rings. She answers it.

Sharon: Hello, Tom's Rhinoplasty. Sharon Marsh speaking.

Stan: Hi Mom.

Sharon: Hi Stan.

Stan: Listen, the power company shut off the power to our house because we didn't pay the bill on time.

Sharon (Moans): Alright. I'll call them. (Hangs up)

Shelly: What did Mom say?

Stan: Mom's calling the power company.

Shelly: GODDAMN IT! I WAS TALKING TO A BOY ONLINE!

Stan (Being a smartass): I thought you were a lesbian. (Gets swatted by Shelly)

Stan: Ouch! What about food? Won't our food spoil in 24 hours if we don't get the power back on?

Shelly: Well, I'm not worried, because, I CAN ALWAYS EAT YOU!

Stan runs out, screaming.
End of Act 1

Act 2
Cuts to: Marsh Residence, Late Afternoon. Stan is seen running out the front door. He turns right.

Cuts to: The Park Basketball Court. Bridon Gueermo is seen shooting hoops, when Stan enters from the left.

Bridon: Hey Stan. Wanna challenge?

Stan: Sure. Anything to avoid my sister for a while. I will say I'm glad you're not after my girlfriend Bridon. Now, enough chatter, let's play ball!

Bridon: I heard you were worried about that. Why would I want to fuck up your life by stealing your girlfriend Wendy from you? You were helpful to me, after all.

Stan: You're right. I'm being a dick. Bridon, you're a good person.

30 Minutes go by. Bridon- 15. Stan- 11. Kyle enters from the right.

Kyle: Hey Stan. Is your power back on yet?

Stan: No, so I'm here. Before the game, I called by sister on her cell phone, and she said she'd call Mom at work. Mom said she'd be home by 7:00pm.

Kyle (To Bridon): I challenge you.

Cartman enters from behind some bushes.

Cartman: Good thing Bridon isn't black Kyle, or he'd kick your ass like all those Black kids did at the Denver Convention Centre.

Stan: HEY CARTMAN! YOU'RE GETTING AN ASS WHOOPING! (Jumps on top of him and punched him. He gets off and gives Cartman a swift kick)

Stan: You fucking hypocrite.

Cartman: Well, my mom was able to get the power back on. She has a way of working with the power company when she forgets to pay the bill.

Stan: Oh. I bet she calls a power company official to come out and sleep with her.

Cartman starts crying. Kyle and Bridon burst into laughter.

Stan gets Cartman up, and they watch Kyle and Bridon play basketball. They're two off the school's best basketball players.

7:00pm. Stan walks home. Kyle, Cartman and Bridon also go off to their homes.

Cuts to: Marsh Residence, Foyer. Stan enters through the door. The power still isn't back on.

Stan: What the fuck is going on?

Sharon (From the kitchen): Stanley, watch your language! I'll call them.

Sharon gets on the phone.

Power Company Official: Mrs Marsh. It would be another 3-6 hours before the order is sent through.

The conversation ends 2 minutes later. Sharon is pissed. Randy comes through the door and goes to the fridge.

Randy: Well, I'll just lie on the couch and have a beer. All we can do is wait from them.

Stan: Well, I'm pissed off Dad. Can I have a beer?

Sharon: No Stanley. Now get upstairs and have a shower. (Stan goes upstairs)

Cuts to: Master Bedroom, Marsh Residence, Midnight. Sharon gets up and picks up the phone.

Power Company Official: We were going to send the order through but forgot because we're working on another big project.

Sharon hangs up and goes back to sleep.
End of Act 2

Act 3

Cuts to: Marsh Residence, Morning.
Cuts to: Stan's Room. He gets up and it's time for school. Though one thing hasn't changed: the power still isn't back on. He gets out of bed and gets dressed.

Cuts to: Marsh kitchen. Sharon and Randy are seen. Sharon is looking at her phone while Randy is drinking coffee. Stan enters from the right and sits opposite Randy.

Randy: Oh Man. I wish Captain Hindsight was here.

Stan: Dad! Goddammit, Captain Hindsight is not a fucking genius, and he'd just tell you what any fucking retard would tell you! You should've paid the fucking power bill!

Randy: I don't have to take this kind of shit from my fucking 10 year-old son!

Sharon looks up from her phone to halt the commotion.

Sharon: Stanley! I've had it with your fucking language! Now it's time to get your ass to school!

Cuts to: South Park Elementary, Fourth Grade Classroom. Stan is sitting between Kyle and Wendy, Cartman and Kenny are seated behind them, Butters is at the front, and Bebe is shown on Wendy's right. Token and Nichole are seated together, so are Clyde, Tweek, Craig, Timmy, Jimmy, Jenny, Esther, Heidi, Millie, Lola, Annie, Francis, Kevin, Red, Scott and Allie. Mr Garrison is at the front. Stan leans over to Kyle.

Stan: I still don't have my power on yet.

Cartman laughs.

Stan: Do you want another ass-whooping fat-boy?

Cartman: No.

Stan: Your mom is the biggest whore in town, and she can suck them for a long motherfucking time, goddammit!

Wendy: Whoa, Babe! You need to calm down!

Mr Garrison: That it, Stanley! You're going to see Mr Mackey for that language. It just so happens this whole town knows that I'm better at sucking dicks than Eric Cartman's mom!

The whole class erupts into laughter. Cartman remains silent, and Stan gets out of his seat, en route to Mr Mackey's office.

Cuts to: Mr Mackey's Office. Mr Mackey is sitting at his desk when Stan walks in through the door.

Mr Mackey: Stan, I've been expecting you, m'kay? Take a seat, m'kay?

Stan sits down.

Mr Mackey: Now, you know we can't use that kind of language in a classroom, m'kay?

Stan: Yes, I know. But Cartman annoyed me so much!

Mr Mackey: Oh, and do you expect me to believe Mr Garrison stated in front of the whole class that he could give blowjobs better than Eric Cartman's mom?

Stan: Well. He did.

Mr Mackey: Guess What? I do believe he said it.

They laugh.

Cuts to: South Park Elementary Cafeteria. The boys are sitting at their usual table.

Stan (To Kyle): I'll have to call my mother on a pay phone. I wasn't able to charge my cell phone.

Kyle: That pay phone hasn't worked in this school since the 80s. Here. You can borrow my cell phone.

Stan: Thanks dude.

Stan dials his mom's phone number, and after a few rings, picks up.

Sharon: Hello.

Stan: Hi Mom. Is the power back on yet?

Sharon: Unfortunately no. They told he it'll be another 6-8 hours.

Stan: Oh. So they're gonna give us that bullshit again.

Stan hangs up, frustrated. Gives Kyle's phone back to him. He eats his lunch.

Cuts to: Marsh Residence, Late Afternoon. Stan walks through the door.

Cuts to: Marsh Foyer. The power is finally back on. Stan goes into the lounge to watch TV.

End of 'No Sanity Without Electricity'

Nice Ending, but my opeaning I think Stan hated Captain Hindsight so munch because He was his own hero, Toolshed! but I like this story & Kenny really dosen't have to worry about that because he is so... poor his family can't pay their bills so his lights are out all the fucking time, poor Kenny!

I like the Stan & Bridon basketball match and the fact that he is not going out with Wendy.

I really like the part that when Stan called Shelly a lesbian, and Shelly smacked him, now that was freaking funny! dam that Randy for not paying the power bill this is a good story.

Agreed with Colezilla said.,and yes, it would be very funny if Liane reacted to him XD
Randy is always forgetful and funny :)
At least Stan's house has light
Anyway good fic :)

Randy should've paid the electricity bill!

This fic violates the rule of no f-bombs in T rated fics. Just change the rating to M in order to fix this problem.

Drake Yagami
Moderator of Pen to Paper

I laughd so hard at the part when said he could give better blow jobs than Cartman's mom, I can imagine her telling him like to put his money whete his mouth is or something.

Also I'm glad Stan is happy that his power is back on.

The game between Stan and Brindon was nice :)
Cartman deserved the punches and the joke about his mother was real and funny XD
Also it was nice that Stan wanted a beer XD
My power got back after three days after my dad paid the bill, so Stan is more Lucky than me :o

Cartman sure deserved those beatings!

Another 3 to 6 hours? Damn, that's brutal (it's manageable though), oh well there's plenty of things one can do with out power, like read a book, play a hand held gaming system,... drink a beer, and other stuff.

I most especially like the friendly game of basketball between Stan and Bridon.

Also Stan was very good on his word. (About kicking Cartman's ass)

Shelly sure knows how to lose her temper a lot! LOL!

haha. i can imagine stan running away and shelly threatening to eat him

HAHA funny chapter, there is no doubt that Randy would be the one running late on a bill. HAHAHAH

That actually happened to met two years ago during a windstorm which I'm know Stan's pain and annoyance . LOL