You seem to have a problem with randomly capitalized letters.

You...hold yourself to a really high standard. I think (but don't hold me to it) that your dissatisfaction with the writing is coming from having to force it. Trust me, when you think your work is shit, others will often (quite sincerely) tell you that they really like it. Not to say it's perfect, but usually better than your own opinion is. Sit back, relax, brainstorm, and, yes, sometimes buckle down and force it out, and you'll get there. Set goalposts. Join a creative writing group. Seriously, it helps. Oh, and beta readers. You always want a beta reader. Preferably one who works in the same general genre as you. My main beta reader is a literature major, and we had some issues until she figured out that a good part of my style was due to the genre and not oversight. I know some (Okay, a lot) of this sounds trite, but all I can do is tell you what works for me and hope it helps! Good luck, I've enjoyed what little you have up so far! (Especially the foreward/prologue. I was really disappointed when the emphasis tags were removed from the official English translation.)

There was a tip I learned from a test I took. Write a little every day so that the idea stays fresh in your head. Not sure if it will help, but you never know.

I think argo's speaking quirks are excellent, keep it up

I dont realy think it needs a rewrite but your the author.

No te preocupes, escribir es dibertido, por eso hiciste este fanfic, solo recuerda lo que querias hacer, despues tomalo con calma

Well the story didn't seem that bad to start off. If you ever get it up and going again it might even be a good read. Of course starting this far into the the death game could limit the hell out of your options in the SAO story line. Then again I am almost sure that the game itself is to be her familiar so I wonder how your going to work that out. Anywho, I wish you luch and good tidings and thank you for this story, what little there was of it.

Keep trying, it is always hard to begin a project and we all know how hard it is to continue a thought. Write an outline of what you want to accomplish with all the pertinent plot points and a few poignant scenes. Then flesh them out and connect them and you should have more than enough for a good chapter.

Well this is an interesting story idea.

I look forward to seeing more of this!

Keep up the good work and good luck with the rewrite.

Rewrite notice? Well alright...

But you sure as hell better actually write it, I was liking this story.

Quite interesting though from that first half of the first chapter I was expecting some random OC from Alfhiem with hacked magic skills...

Ah-hem, so ya I adore me some «words in these» for some strange reason, probably Baka-Tsuki's fault...

Cheers!

-Ran (Good luck!)

The summery was kinda vague and more general than they are usually meant to be.

So... if I understand it correctly Louise will end up in the Floating Castle Aincard as a consequence of the Founder's hidden "troll" implant in the Summon Familiar ritual.

There was a rather good story that followed the same plot (with Klein, a secondary or even tertiary character but still more developed than Saito, replacing Saito) and I do hope this one surpasses that.

Great chapter! Update soon!

Fun, Louise gets the info dump, but still doesn't fully understand the situation just yet (you would probably have to live it for a while to understand the mess in SAO).

I'll be waiting for the next update.

nice story, so far is very interesting, hope you will turn louise in some kind of badass just lightning from ff

It's pretty good. You go with a 'show don't tell' approach and go into a lot of detail and don't skip things like most would. I look forward to your future chapters.