My eyes were watering several times while reading this fanfic... I know it's been years since this story was updated, but I feel a need to know if the intended ending was a happy one... This is too depressing to just leave it like this! With all the cliffhangers, I kept reading and reading this in one sitting, hoping for a happier moment, but found none. I thought, "Even if I have to wake up really early tomorrow and it's getting to be close to midnight, I won't sleep well if I stop at such a depressing point". And now, it's still a depressing point. I feel like Soujiro... Smiling, but actually feeling like i'm about to cry. Smiling to distract myself and try and trick myself into thinking everything is okay.

As much as I praised your other stories, I feel like cursing your ability to write well in this story, because it's caused such unpleasant emotions. I probably shouldn't have read this story, at least at this point in time. Not so soon after feeling so uplifted by your other stories. I wish you had more Soujiro stories, especially uplifting ones, so I could stay up even later to read. As long as there was some sort of happy ending, or at least a solution that isn't totally depressing (like suicide), I would feel like I could sleep well. Why must your writing ability be so good? Ha, I'm caught between being in awe of your talent and drowning in sorrow because of what it was brought into existence - this story.

I looked up the tv tropes page for recommended Rurouni Kenshin fics, and when I saw that you had written a whole bunch about Soujiro, I knew I had to read it. And I'm not saying that I didn't like it, because I did, and I'm not saying that I didn't like it, because I did, absolutely, and I'm not saying that it wasn't well written, because it was, but after this last chapter, I still have one last question.

WHAT
THE
HECK?

You led us through that unbelievable series of occasional ups and constant, crushing downs, and you stop here? Here? Would a happy ending really be that bad? Soujiro left the show eager to see the world, and he left your story barely hanging on to his will to live. How is that a happy ending? Well, I guess if you were going for one, this wouldn't be under the drama/angst genre, but is this really an ending at all? I mean, he didn't give up on what he wanted, but neither did he obtain it. I think I understand what you were going for, that all the problems in life aren't going to wrap themselves up, that every day is a struggle to be the person we want to be, and that we need to believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even when we're too far away to see it. And it's beautiful in its determination in the face of such brutal realism, but I just wish that you would cut that kid a break sometime.

By the way, it's not to late to add one last chapter to this masterpiece. And you could end it with happily ever after instead of owari. You know. Think about it.

And here we are at last.

I felt a terrible sense of sadness in the first half of this chapter. Not that the second half was better in that regard, but I wrote this review as I read.
Needless to say, that's because of how well you wrote it. It must have been hard, albeit interesting for you as a writer to do this all those years ago. It's very hard to enter this mindset I think, and with everything considered - the story, the events, and the fact this was the end of a 'series' of yours. I wonder how long it took you to write this story, in particular this chapter, obvious reasons of being the final one, and for its content.

I was lucky to have been listening to 'To the Beginning' by Kalafina as I read, which happens to be one of my favorite songs for the emotion it brings to me; together with the chapter, it worked perfectly for the soundtrack I think it needed.

Aizawa was fascinating. The way you described his difference when looking at Soujirou in comparision to Kenshin, the reader feels his kindness, but indeed the fear
doesn't really go away either. He appeared to be a truly beautiful character for its essence, that's fascinating for someone who appeared in the final chapter for such little - but crucial - time.

This felt really, just sad. I had been anticipating this moment, of finishing this fanfic and therefore your series, because I wanted the accomplishment feeling, but I knew it would be sad, it always is. The way you end it is painful because it leaves the 'space' open, but that's what happens in the original - and that's a good thing. He's found a new wish, and that's beautiful in itself. But it does kind of feel heartaching to see all this, all these events, and this finale. I feel bad for Ojisan and Obachan, and we're left to imagine how everyone else carries on after this.

That is very, very good.

I want to be inspired by your stories because you wrote them with the flow, the detail and the emotion I'd like to achieve. I knew I'd feel this way when I ended this (also I haven't read such a big fanfic - couting your whole series - for a very long time) and right now it feels a bit overwhelming and numbing, but that's good and that is the result of a very, very good writing.

And actually, I'll leave a final note here: after I finished reading, there was a long pause between that, finishing the review and posting; and in that in-between, I enjoyed a break and appreciated everything a little differently, a little better, and felt very grateful for that. I thank you for that, because -you- brought me that shift of mind, even if just for this while, that allowed me to experience this. I'm very thankful I read this story and was able to appreciate this. I'm a little word tangled right now and I'm not able to describe what I want, but the point is, thank you. "As long as it lasts". You brought me that.

Thank you for writing this, for sharing and for keeping it for over a decade so people like me can enjoy it and feel this amount of amusement and heartache even now, and now, for creating this impact in me. I want to save this feeling and this story in my head. "Okaerinasai" fanfic, Soujirou's family, this whole story, were the ones I really registered and liked.

best regards
HsValmor

To avoid spamming, I've kept reading and writing this review throughout the days it took to read several chapters. Took me a while, but it's done.

I loved how you made Soujirou think the words Kenshin pretty much represents in himself, how being alive -simply by being alive - there's the possibility that things will be better. And as those words are particularly important to me too, it was nice reading them. I loved the breaking scene, the whole scene in the police, I felt so sad for him, you just want to try to make him feel safe again. This conflicted pleasure of reading situations like this is what I love the most. All I kept saying was 'poor Soujirou, damn leave the kid alone'

It was so, so painful to see Soujirou suffer and being broken by the pressure and horror of his own actions. It almost felt how it would be so much easier for him to let go and shut his emotions again so he could survive this (a frequent struggle I imagine Soujirou going through while writing) but again, it's even more painful to think that's the only 'sane' solution that seems to be possible at this point. It was really painful and therefore extremely well written. (Even though I read through several days, I still wrote some parts of the review as I read, so I didn't know the Tenken image would appear by the time I wrote the previous setence). Using Tenken in this way is a simple but extremely reliable and appropriate way. The way the 'voice' kept responding, I think everyone has listened to that horribly true but accusating voice, I certainly have so I really felt this. Soujirou still has an inner strength indeed, to fight and win against himself at the very least.

Now we arrive at these final chapters. In between this time my internet connection is down so I literally screenshot the fic so I could read at home (out of curiousity, chapters 9-11 are all around 17 screens of text)
I have said this several times: I really, really like the way you write. The little details in description don't make it boring, it's rich and very flowed at the same time. I loved to see how Kenshin and Sano are to realize something is wrong and go to Kyoto. As for Soujirou, he's become so human in its more basic needs - support, love, to be able to continue at all. I really like the scene with Chou describing how Soujirou was last he saw him: how it's clear but still subtle how Soujirou's mindset was adrift, even disattached, thinking he was back at Shishio's time, and then breaking down again. You had me scared in the dream where Ojisan and Obachan die, too.

I love Saitou's character, but find his coldness and bluntness so hard to write - you did it perfectly. He pretty much summed up everything for Kenshin like he would in the original. Well done here yet again.
I like the bound of blood explanation between people who've fought for their lives. It's interesting and I can indeed perceive it. And I could perceive Soujirou's state of mind, of anxiety, when he returns home after killing the prostitute; I find it particularly hard to efficiently write the feeling of both numbness and uneasiness that that anxiety creates, and you've been doing it several times, several times good. This last time you wrote tit, I just had to envision the sight of the house, as if I was in Soujirou's place, the light, Obachan coming near, and I could see and feel in my head what you were describing.

I didn't want to spam your inbox with several entries, but keeping my comments in a certain order helps me assimilate the story better, and also works for mind pinpoints in the future, when I re-read your story and check the reviews. I wish I could have read more (peeked content from future chapters) but after all only read 1 tonight

Soujirou's care for Tomi was so beautiful. His care is genuine but he still makes mistakes. I really like the relationship they have, it's very pure. You made a great choice when you created this.
Sano's confrontation too, he's good intended but he's a hard head ahah. I liked Kenshin's worry for Soujirou, and I wish I could read more tonight because it's the perfect way to end a chapter and make the reader want more.

also forgot to say in the other review that the bit with Kaoru and Kenshin's slap mark was hilarious

the scene when Tomi curls up to Soujirou while sleeping was so adorable. I hadn't imagined Soujirou with a friend like this and it's really good. It might be obvious by now, but I really like your writing.

I forgot to say before that the idea of Soujirou having a job - and now a family - is so strange and heartwarming it was wonderful. And I genuinely teared up just a bit in Kotori-san part, not only it was heart breaking as it also reached close to me. It's a very, innocent is the way that comes to mind, way to join Tomi and Soujirou, because it was all thanks to Kotori-san indeed. They are building such a beautiful bond, these two.
It's wonderful to see Soujirou with this child, and that final line of Kenshin seeing how they both address him the same way was awesome

By some reason even though this is now the Autumn Arc and not the Winter Arc, I have a special type of soundtrack to listen to when reading your Soujirou fics, the Winter albums by Nox Arcana (Winter's Knight and Winter's Eve) they are very beautiful and bittersweet, if you want to give them a try.

I don't think I've said how much I love your OCs too. Tomi turned out so nice since the moment she showed up, and I can see the parallels between them. I'm sure some confrontation will eventually arise.

The paralleled timeline was nice too, and to see some of the Kenshingumi again too. I liked how you wrote Soujirou's reaction to Kenshin.

The image of Tomi taking Soujirou's hand as he is carried by Sano was so beautiful, actually.

My biggest impediment with your fics are the size, I like to read carefully so I end up taking a little time, but that's the way it's meant to be. I'll see if I read 2 chapters a night and I'll leave individual reviews most likely, hope that's alright

... Quite some time ago, when I was a rabid fan of Rurouni Kenshin as a whole, I came across your old site. I started reading your Soujiro story, and for many hours, I couldn't take my eyes of the screen. When he began to feel to bad, when the angst started piling up faster and faster, I stopped reading, because I began to cry in front of my computer.

It was about a year ago, and today I reread the whole story, including the parts I hadn't read.

I love it.

The way you portrait the characters, not only Soujiro, but all of them, including your very good OCs, is superb.

I love the way this takes you into the heart of the character Tenken no Soujiro, and as he is my favorite character, I feel joyful when I read about him.

You move my feelins, in a way I haven't experienced in a long time. I laugh at the funny, cute parts, smile at the warm parts, and cry at the heartwrenching parts.

This is the best fanfiction I have ever read, and I doubt I will ever find a Soujiro story that is as deep and well written as this one.

As an amateur writor myself, I understand the feeling when you don't want to continue your work. And I am not one of those pushy people, that tries to get people working faster, or to begin working at a project again.

The only thing I want to convey (In a very round-about and probably irritating way) is:

THANK YOU for writing this amazing story, and letting me read it.

Thank You!

It is a travesty that this will never be finished. You do exactly what fanfiction should do... set itself firmly in an established world and take the characters somewhere beyond what the creators intended. You do this without making characters seem out of place, your original characters have purpose and are multidimensional.

For every mediocre fluff piece out there there should be a fic of this quality.

Wow...This truly was an amazing story. Although, the ending wasn't quite to my liking..Usually, I like it when it's not all happily-ever-after because almost everything is like that it seems...But, for the first time (quite literally), I really did want a satisfying ending for our poor Soujiro...Ah well. :D Again, though. This story truly was great. You created trials for the boy that fit so well it's uncanny. This is truly what I imagined of Soujiro, less that this truly did happen.

Awesome job. :) You have become one of my favorite authors, for no one else, I believe, can honestly display Soujiro the way that you did. It was truly an amazing and unique look at the whole situation. Again, I can't praise you enough for your works. (And I honestly don't say this often...I believe that this is the fourth time and I've read hundreds of stories...(Literally)

:P

.717

Wow... this is good. This is professional writing level good. I've never seen anything this good written for Kenshin. This is a rare continuation that is a realistic outcome for the characters involved.

It would be amazing to see this finished. You leave this at a rather climatic point, but there's never going to be a resolution it seems given the length of time since this has been updated. Such a shame considering the lack of quality found on this website. Good anime fanfic is a diamond in the rough.

Hm...this fic hasn't been updated in four years...Is it dead? I hope not. This is, by far, the best Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction I have ever read. It's absolutly amazing how well this is written, and how easily you seem to be able to get inside the characters heads. I really, really hope you continue!

~Kitsune-chan

This is more in the nature of a general review. I found your stories recently, by way of Wanderings With Werewolves, by way of the Potterpuff picture. And I love your HP stories. Remus Lupin is one of my very favorite HP characters, so a well-written story about him is always to be treasured.

But I was even more excited to see all of your Soujiro stories. A couple of them seem familiar, as if I might have stumbled over them years ago, but I can't remember now - anyway, now I've devoured every single one. I've been in love with that boy ever since I first saw Rurouni Kenshin, eight or nine years ago, and I always love to speculate about what might have happened to him after he set off to find his own answers at the end of the Kyoto arc. Your stories are so raw and painful and so beautiful and true; they're a gift to my Soujiro-loving heart. _ I've added you to my Author Alerts and I hope you're going to continue them! I want to see him get to his happy ending.

Thank you for sharing them with us!

A magnificent tale. I'm only sorry that it will probably forever be unfinished. Even so, you deserve to be applauded for this wonderful story. Soujiro truly is Kenshin's twin here.