TOLKIEN LIVES ! (stomping) TOLKIEN LIVES ! (stomping)

I liked the chapter!

This story is awesome i truly hope you keep writing it

good more please

Great chapter as always but please, please don't make the next chapter take over a year! (insert sad puppy eyes here)

Although I have to ask, is Eldarion going to be a human child or is he an Eldar child because it seems to me that it's Eldar this time.

The changes are excellent. The dialogue top notch.

9 out of 10.

Maybe it is my oversight, or my fortune not having reviewed this when it originally came out, so now I can review it again. Anyway, let's get to the chase.

This chapter focuses on the Eldar, mostly Lilien and Eloheim of Biel-tan, which is kinda cool. I like their personalities, one is melancholic and dreamy, the other more matured but had a sense of humor. What I don't understand is which word Lilien is preventing her brother from saying. "Human" is a normal term, and if not, then it is strange having to say The Great Devourer, the Locust, the Horde or the Great Enemy instead of their less exotic names all the time.

I can see some references in this story. For example, in previous chapter, you mention it was Aenarion who became the Avatar of Asuryan. Aenarion is the first Phoenix King of the High Elves. And there is also Skrekrea, who would later become a Howling Banshee fighting on Tartarus against the Alpha Legion.

Overall great writing style. The flow is easy to follow and conversations are well-written.

I suppose next time we will see a chapter dedicated to Eldarion. Not sure will you explore any of his background this time. Anyway, good luck.

Some solid effort here man. Looking forward to the next one.

If this is the prologue, I can hardly wait to see how the bulk of the story turns out.

Your characterization of both the Phoenix Lords as well as the Laughing God are nothing short of excellent, making them feel both ancient and incredibly dangerous. The events happening are tantalizing without being frustrating, and enlightening without giving too much away. Everything is balanced very well and I wasn't able to pick out a single thing I'd consider an error.

There isn't much to say about it yet, but I am very eager to see how this develops and how it eventually connects to TBWWBE.

*shivering with suppressed maniacal laughter*
More...

Ohhh, new chapter!

ok that was a good chapter

So just more confused then anything else really I think I get it but also not, anyway great chapter and can't wait to see more where it gets clearer.

A wonderful undertaking. The work is comprehensive and the plot is very compelling. With this first chapter you’ve successfully invoked emotion in at least one reader. Because you clearly know what you’re doing and don’t need boot liking I have two critiques;
1) Some of the language could be further developed. More dynamic, visceral words with colourful similes could show the aspect lords as elemental forces of nature.
2) The dialog is too protracted for my taste. With masters like these I expect that they measure the weight of every syllable before it passes over their tongue. Condensing and extracting it from the large descriptors, with the skill you’ve all ready demonstrated, I expect you could pack even more punch in your dialog.

I also have a cautionary word to counter balance the advice from the Disciple of Ember. True, doubt can cripple the weak of heart. But the pursuit of doubt is the road to self-improvement. It’s much like a shadow, doubt is never there when you shine a curious light on it. So I’m glad to see you rewriting, it show a level of dedication that is to be lauded.

So great chapter, I like the sort of insight into the Phoenix Lords court and stuff which I think is quite though bloody curious about stuff like the spirit stone and also the craft world you chosen as well, though that last line really messed with me but anyway can't wait for more.