Beautiful writing here. I hope it gets your attention once more as I am hooked.

this chapter hurts even more when i realize that trunks and goten would've seen this too... my poor kids ;;

I am so confused by this piece of fanfiction.

It's well written, and u like what you did with changing povs every chapter.
But It is a little heavy on the dramatics. I also have a bit of a hard time accepting all characters done up to now can be.. happy to relive an entire childhood. The slow way. Seriously, I get bored with a movie if it's more than 2 hours.
The thing that confuses me most, is you seem to hate it yourself. I meam, ok i can get this one was hard to write but you seem to hate the idea of it.
Anyway, I really don't think the story is cliche, regardless of how many cliches you've tried to put in here, on purpose. It is cleverly done and yes, touching. It hasn't taken me 5 years to read. That much is certain. So.. would be awesome if you update. Hope my rev doesn't give you the idea I don't like the story. Because I'm really enjoying it and hope you update again. Thanks for sharing!

Just dropping by to hopefully encourage you to post soon! It's been quite a while and I'm eager to read the next chapter. I hope everything is well with you!

I can't believe I read a new chapter to this story! Feels like a long time ago I read it for the first time. Please don't stop for any reason, don't take sooo loooong again, this is excavation my type of stories.
Hope to read next chapter soon.
Though I hope to get to his adulthood fast enough if your updates are slow. Lol

This was very well written and very emotional. Thank you for updating!

I screamed.

I actually, legitimately SCREAMED when I saw you had updated.

Just thought you should know that.

LORD ALMIGHTY, WHERE DO I START?

Yamcha's POV! FINALLY! I've been waiting for this since the beginning. I'm so happy you chose to break away from the typical 'Yamcha loathed Vegeta' stance so common in fanfiction, especially because (as you pointed out in Chapter 3) there's very little indication of this in canon, and it was actually Tien who never quite managed to let go of his grudge. Call me crazy, but I think one of the biggest missed opportunities of Dragon Ball Z was Vegeta x Yamcha brOTP. It coulda been a thing.

The total injustice of Vegeta's situation is absolutely maddening, which is something you've touched upon in previous chapters, but it really shone through here. Yamcha's rage is so poignant and piercing it's almost a physical presence on the page. In a way, his pain and anguish is actually my own - as the reader, all I can do is sit back and watch as Vegeta is subjected to some truly horrific things, and no matter how badly I want to reach through into his realm and help him, I can't; I'm just frozen. This whole 'POV character as audience surrogate' thing you've got going on is so unique and refreshing and wonderful.

Vegeta, oh, dear sweet Lord, please let me hug this boy T_T You know what I realized at the end of this chapter? He's three weeks into a twenty-five-year-long imprisonment. Twenty. Five. YEARS. It's so often overlooked because Dragon Ball Z is this silly, candy-colored series about space monkeys and the like, but Vegeta's backstory reads like something out of Game of Thrones. This chapter is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the reprehensible things that happened to him - that were done to him - when he was such a small child. There's a real sense of hopelessness and desperation in your writing, a real sense of suffering, that never fails to make me feel like there's a ball of lead sitting in my gut.

I love how much Nappa loves Vegeta - I truly do. Other than Frieza, Nappa was the closest thing Vegeta had to a father after the king died; certainly he was the only KIND father figure Vegeta had left then. I hope that Vegeta learns to return those affections, that love, at least to some degree, as he grows up; not only because that would tug at my heartstrings in the worst way and for some reason I seem to enjoy doing these things to myself, but also because his current pining for his father is really, REALLY painful - both for him as a lonely, scared five-year-old and for poor Nappa, who is continuously being rejected by the child he would kill and die for a thousand times over if need be.

What the hell is going on with Zarbon? I can't tell how I feel about him right now - obviously he's a heinous bastard for his gleeful physical abuse of Vegeta, but he also seems to be holding back somewhat, keeping himself from truly hurting the child. Does he actually care about Vegeta in some way, or is he just trying to save his own skin by not 'damaging' Frieza's most precious piece of merchandise? There's apparently something lurking 'beneath the ice', so he's not at all a benevolent figure, nor is he going to be, in Vegeta's life... so why the pseudo-kindness at the present moment? What's his motive? Such an intriguing mystery.

Okay - but there are SO MANY SLIMY PERVERTED BASTARDS IN THE FRIEZA FORCE. Props to you for coming up with the whole 'brushing the child soldier's hair as s/he walks by' thing - it sounds so innocuous on paper, but when you actually see it happen, you just KNOW there are disgusting intentions behind it. The dissonance created by Yamcha's knowledge of what the gesture means and Vegeta's childish naivety and ignorance is stomach-churning.

Oh... and 'The Incident'. I knew that whatever 'bad stuff' took place at the end of this chapter was going to be sexual in nature, and I thought I was ready for it. I most definitely was NOT. As much as I would love to hurl castigating epithets at the sorry excuse for a man who did what he did to Vegeta, I'm so shocked and horrified by his actions that I feel there are no words that could sufficiently condemn him. What kind of sick, twisted person beats the hell out of a five-year-old and then proceeds to MOLEST him - ?! I'm just speechless. THIS sort of thing - this is why Vegeta turned out the way he did. This is why he completely lost his fucking mind. This unrelenting, unprovoked cruelty and derangement. No words.

And the things that Zarbon said to Vegeta after it happened... Somehow, I get the sense that he was actually trying to HELP. Trying to force Vegeta to see the reality of his new life - that he has to be the biggest, baddest, meanest son of a bitch he can possibly be if he wants to survive in Frieza's universe. Even so, I still can't help but HATE him for the ideas he planted into Vegeta's head. HE'S the reason Vegeta became so obsessed with being the strongest, even when that goal came at the detriment of his allies and himself!

You know, with people like Frieza, Zarbon, Dodoria, and that scumbag who molested him when he was practically a baby around, it's no wonder Vegeta ends up becoming so afraid of anyone with a higher power level than him, even when that 'anyone' is a simple-minded sweetheart like Goku. Suddenly, his anxiety at having his wrists restrained by Goku in Chapter 2, and his strange promise to get stronger, makes so much more sense...

I cannot even fathom how frightened Vegeta must have been to have rejected Nappa's touch, nor the incredible depths of Nappa's rage and sorrow after he realizes what's happened. And to see Vegeta end up sitting silently on his bed, just staring blankly at the wall, possibly for hours, just like his MOTHER...

"Yamcha was doing more than enough [crying] for the both of them."

Yeah, me, too!

Wow, just wow, wow, WOW. Such an amazing chapter with so much emotion and horror and suspense and anticipation in it. I can't gush enough, this was everything I'd hoped for and more. I'm sorry for such a shitty, rambling review; I wrote it in chunks over the course of several days I can't seem to string more than two coherent thoughts together at a time. Just... WOW. I cannot WAIT for Chapter 9. You're amazing.

You know what I'm most looking forward to at this point? Raditz. I really hope he shows up soon LOL

Congratulations you just made Vegeta's story even more heartbreaking

Oh god, I'm just sitting here completely shattered. I swear, my heart is in a million pieces. I really do think this is one of the single most heartbreaking, tragic stories I've ever read, and your remarkable talent as a writer is what's making it so. I'm just totally devastated by the absolute tragedy and sadness of Vegeta's life.

And we see here a traumatizing event from his past effecting events in the present, the way what happens to Vegeta here, with that piece of trash molesting him, and why it triggered the reaction he had in the present, when Goku grabbed his wrists and put his hand on his neck. It's just becoming more and more apparent as the story progresses that Vegeta has been carrying around for years and years and years a well of trauma and pain and tragedy deeper than any of them could have ever known. My god, it just keeps building and building, one devastating even and experience after another, and again, you have to wonder how it is Vegeta even kept it together for as long as he did. And in the context of the tortures and tragedies he's suffered, it has to be making the gang feel a thousand times more guilty and heartbroken over the fact that very few of them ever really made a real effort to even talk to Vegeta, or really, truly befriend him. They're seeing for the first time that he's suffered a life beyond any kind of cruelty any of them have, or any of them could possibly have imagined. And seeing this particular period in Vegeta's life, and this particular event, seen through Yamcha's eyes, really puts it into perspective, because Yamcha, out of all of them, save obviously Vegeta, has probably had the hardest life, has suffered the most loss, and been deprived of the most, and so he fully grasps probably better than any of them, the true devastation of what it is Vegeta went through. His despair and agony over the loss of his mother and father, the feelings of helplessness, the feelings of failure, and Yamcha's own inability to do anything, how that's just exacerbating his own frustration and feelings of worthlessness, etc... Seeing him understand better than Vegeta at this point the true nature of what's being done to him, the perversion and sickness, because he's a grown man and can understand it in a way Vegeta just can't, and knowing how it's going to impact Veget once he's old enough TO understand, it just really gives the reader a better ability to feel the full weight of the tragedy here.

What makes it maybe most devastating of all is seeing all of this happen to Vegeta in the context of his still present hope. He still believes at this point that if he's just strong enough, that if he just works hard enough, just tries hard enough, he'll someday be reunited with his father, someday see his home again. And both us as readers and Yamcha know already that that's never going to happen. They can only know the tragedy of seeing a child who is going to be made to suffer and tortured for the greater majority of his future life, and will never see his father again, never see his home again, never get to take his rightful place as the future king, etc... It's just truly, truly heartbreaking, in a way I really can't put into words.

Vegeta is just surrounded by so much danger and so much hostility and cruelty, and he's so SMALL, and just so young, just five years old, and the helplessness and vulnerability of him is just one of the saddest things imaginable. He's already been through more than most adults, been through more than any child his age should ever have to suffer. And we can see because of all this trauma the way he's already starting to disassociate and detach himself as a means of dealing with it, and how that's going to impact him in the future. The way he keeps all of his pain buried, and refuses to let any of it out. It's no wonder he suffers from such sever panic attacks as a man.

I really adore the dynamic and connection you've built between Vegeta and his father as well, and how you've built that relationship up to be so completely important and central to Vegeta's view of the world and of himself ultimately, and how his idol worship of his father comes to shape everything he thinks about himself. It's tragic, because I think that's probably the last thing his father ever would have wanted, for his son to see himself as a failure compared to him, to see him as so great that he could never hope to live up to him.

I thought it was brilliant too the way you described how Vegeta, so different from Goku and Gohan, has always been at his weakest when angry, and how we see that come into play for the first time here. And we're starting to see why Vegeta's anger has always been such a detriment to him, because it's born of pure trauma. His mind has been severely damaged, because of the things he's gone through, and you capture so well just what happens to him when he flies off the handle, the way Yamcha realizes he just can't think straight, like everything goes haywire. It makes all of the beatings and defeats Vegeta has suffered throughout his life all the more heartbreaking, when you realize where his rage and loss of control comes from, and how it only ever serves to make things worse for him.

I'm also really nervous about Zarbon and what his intentions are. Yes, he's sort of protected Vegeta somewhat so far, but like Yamcha, you definitely get an uneasy feeling about him and the danger he poses, and what his actual intentions towards Vegeta are has me really on edge and worried. There's such a sinister quality to Zarbon here, and you're keeping it so subtle that I can't figure out yet what it is beyond him just being generally a bad guy.

I also loved how you were able to illustrate the difference between Vegeta and the Saiyans in general and the rest of Frieza's army. The Saiyans are slaves, forced into doing Frieza's bidding, and their need to kill is just pure instinct, with no real malice attached. But the rest of these men are truly evil, truly malicious and perverse in their intents and desires.

I also just feel so sad for Nappa too, and the way he obviously cares so deeply for Vegeta, and wants more than anything to protect him, but how we can see already how he's going to end up being more of a detriment to Vegeta's well being than a help, and how he's probably going to continue to fail to protect him, and from there you can see how Vegeta's resentment of him might start to grow. The whole things is just so deeply, deeply tragic, and again, in the context of his actual life, the fact that Vegeta's been able to hold it together as well as he has is nothing short of a miracle. But everyone is starting to see, I think, just how shaky that hold always was, just how unstable the foundations, and why Vegeta has always been so volatile and brittle.

Truly just astounding writing, and I can't wait to see what happens next, and from who's perspective we're going to be seeing it. I already feel so heartbroken for Bulma and Trunks in particular, in seeing the way the man they care more about than anyone else has had to suffer in his life. Again, thank you so much for sharing!

Lord, I don't even know what to say. I found this story a couple days ago, and slow reader that I am, I've only made it up to chapter 7, and will have to leave chapter 8 for tomorrow. But... I think this is probably the most brilliant, the most moving, the most insightful, and the most devastating piece of fan fiction I've ever read. I am just simply stunned with awe, truly. You've created an absolute masterwork here.

I don't even know where to begin with this review, and I'll be leaving one for chapter 8 once I finish it, but to review the whole of your story here, there's just so much about it that's so brilliant, and so heartbreaking, and so REAL, it's just impossible to know how to put into words the way it's made me feel.

First of all I guess is the incredibleness of your pacing and the care and detail you're putting into this. The way you aren't rushing a single thing, and literally taking us through every moment of Vegeta's life through the eyes of Gohan and the others, and revealing in such stark, emotional and sincere detail the absolute HELL that Vegeta's life has been, I mean, it's very nearly left me in shock. I think, with chapter 7 here especially, the horror that you've captured of what Vegeta went through, at the age of five, it's just beyond my ability to describe. Having his own mother try twice, and sincerely, to end his life, to murder his own child, and then to have to watch his mother die right before him, the trauma of all of that alone would have been enough to drive Vegeta insane I would think, let alone on top of everything else that eventually ends up happening to him. The horror of this last chapter juxtaposed against the happiness and love and warmth of those first few years with his mother and father just makes the horror that much more devastating and stark.

And the lead up to Gohan and company entering Vegeta's memories, I loved how it was told totally from Gohan's perspective, and how you use Gohan's innate compassion and kindness as a sort of jumping off point and catalyst for everyone else realizing that Vegeta is slowly losing his mind and spiraling into a seemingly unstoppable depression. And as each section of Vegeta's childhood is being revealed here, it puts into clearer perspective everything that's going on with him in the present, and we as readers are starting to understand just WHY he's losing his mind the way he is, why he's so messed up. And the more we learn, the more of a miracle it seems that he was able to hold onto any form of sanity for as long as he did. I don't think I've ever been more heartbroken in my life reading about Vegeta's childhood, and the way you capture with such truth the tragic consequences of a child being made to suffer what he does.

The way you built up the gradual deterioration of his mother and father's relationship, and how that slowly poisoned and robbed Vegeta of his own childhood and innocence, was nothing short of brilliant. Just to see that level of stress and depression and hopelessness in a child so young is deeply tragic and heartbreaking. And to see his mother gradual lose his mind, and how frightening and tragic it is, to see Vegeta himself gradually grow frightened of one of the only people he should have always felt safe and protected by, God, I just can't tell you how moving it is. You're an astoundingly gifted writer, you really are.

And how you're showing all of this to the reader through the perspective of everyone else, Gohan and Goku and Chichi and Krillin, etc... It's just genius, the way you're not only revealing so much about Vegeta's life and who he is and why he is the way he is, but how through that discovery of Vegeta, everyone else is also discovering so many things about themselves, and being forced to confront their own perceptions of themselves and the world around them, and of course Vegeta himself. You've managed to weave this story in such a way that it's as much a journey of self-discovery for them as it is a journey towards understanding Vegeta. I'm truly amazed and in awe of it. Particularly moving in this last chapter was Krillin realizing that the instinct to hunt and kill, for a Saiyan, isn't an act of evil. That it's just a genetically imprinted instinct, the same as any predator has. And of course him realizing that Vegeta has always had a normal range of emotion, and that he'd only learned to keep it locked so deep down, that no one could ever see or use it against him. It's truly profound, what everyone is discovering here, and I don't think anything will ever be the same for any of them when this is done.

And man, at the end of this chapter, with the final moments between Vegeta and his father, I just started crying. When Vegeta finally breaks down and cries, and the things his father says to him, and the realization that he can't save his son at all, after the absolute hell Vegeta's just experienced, it's just like a straight punch to the gut, the whole thing. And we really see here the groundwork laid for just what a repressed and broken wreck Vegeta would eventually become. Maybe the most tragic thing of all is how, through the irresponsibilty of everyone else, Vegeta ends up blaming himself for all of this, ends up thinking it's all his fault, and from there, we can begin to understand how he developed such an awful obsession with becoming stronger and becoming the best. This idea that he can't let his father down, that he was meant to be his people's savior, that his father expected that of him, and he can't fail. And you understand from that too just why Goku's achieving Super Saiyan and killing Frieza instead and being stronger was, ultimately, so devastating to him. It's just soul crushingly sad.

I seriously can't wait to read more of this, and to see how it further develops, even while at the same time dreading it, knowing, if it's even possible, that Vegeta's life is going to become infinitely worse and more tragic still. How anyone could hate him or feel anything less than deep compassion and sympathy for him after this seems like an impossibility. Just truly a brilliant piece of writing, and I feel so lucky and honored to be able to read it, and so grateful to you for sharing it. I'll be leaving a review for every chapter you post from here on. It's the least I can do for your allowing us such a powerful look and examination into one of the best characters in all of fiction. Thank you so much! I'll be off to read chapter 8 tomorrow!

this story has some interesting ideas

This story make me cry , it's so sad, watching a kid go through these horrible things.
Your words are touching,make my heart update soon :)

I'm so glad you updated. I really love this story and the way you write this where the story is in Vegeta's point of view but he's always seem through another character's eyes as well. This story has never failed to make me feel strong emotions and I love it

Oh my goodness. I hadn't expected this. I wasn't prepared... but now I am HOOKED. I must know what happens next. Who gets to be with Vejita in this next arc? Is it bad that I almost can't wait for Yamcha ? And oh my Kami , Trunks and Goten!

I would really like for this story to be continued,is there any chance for that?