Oh, and P.S. - idk whether it’s my luck or not, but I’m seeing a pattern here with Edmund. Blindness then muteness...hmmm...

Me: ah, this prompt is vague, interesting, and probably worrisome. Imma try it!
Me, after chapter 1: I HAVE UNDERESTIMATED THE ONE WHO WROTE THE BROS BEING SLAVES WHAT HAVE I DONE.
I see you are persistent and consistent with the quality of your work. Sadness, hope, and tHE PENDANTS-
The Orelius POV was genius, and it only adds to my liking how every Narnia ff author adores Therapist!Orelius. It’s everywhere, and the world is better off for it. All your stories are great, sad, and hopeful, btw, and that’s with and without Orelius. My fav!
Okay, you’re great at twists. It didn’t shine too much in “Refined by Fire”, since because the whole story was centered around many different chess pieces of situations/characters, I was on my guard - I was thoroughly invested in the plot and the turns of it, but it never had a truly catastrophic ‘oh shit’ moment, because I was always on guard for it, and the story wasn’t made to be surprising. It threw me for loops, but that was more a product of the flow of the plot and narrative. This story, though? With Susan’s death, I wasn’t expecting that twist at all! You played your cards right. Your summary was left ambiguous, and after chapter 1, I thought I found out why. And a few chapters later, when you ‘revealed’ how she died a bit, I though “oh wow, she’s really dead. There’s the backstory.” And it totally felt like something you would write! The grief would build up through the chapters, as will the emotions had at Z’s death/survival. Edmund would reveal more over time (which turned out to be slightly true). This story was truly about the three and dealing with grief - there was no air of uncertainty because this felt like a plot you would write. And it was brilliant, because I had my guard down, thinking any more twists would be about Ed’s experiences and/or the bad guys. But no! There was a twist! And it shows how cunning and faithful Susan is as a sister and as a Gentle Queen. It showed some character in both the baddies. It made for a great ending! Usually I hate end-of-story twists, but this one felt like it added to the story - not just changed it. I really really liked that. And it didn’t take away from any of the pains went through beforehand by the characters, either. One of the most perfect plot twists I’ve ever seen!
All through Orelius’s POV, we see their Majesties be kids, be monarchs, and be hurt (besides those awesome Susan POV’s). And I think this story lends to that narrative well, as all three of them act those roles at their fitting times. In only 17 chapters you captured all of their phases, and I feel like that was the main enjoyment for me - seeing them as cunning to their captors, as strong against their fears, as broken but resilient to their wounds, and all for their love of each other and Narnia. Sometimes stories make them either grown up or childlike: sometimes stories are long enough to show this change in them: and now I see all of these, mingling with their personal personalities, in a medium-sized tale. It was such a fine time:)
You never spelled everything out - Ed’s demons stay mostly unsaid once more. But I can infer that one day he may tell them stuff about this damning time in captivity, as I can infer what Lucy’s POV looked like through all of this, and how the rest of their reign went after this. Ambiguity is a weapon and a skill, you used both super well in this story.
Thank you for an emotional, but hopeful, tale of the Golden Age. Not as dark as RbF, but I think that’s because you wanted to hold back, and that in itself is a virtue. And a talent, because you’re great at these types of stories, too. Thank you for a great read once again!

As Always,

Happy Writing~

Of course they're in another place Edmund experienced trauma...this is getting good. I've loved every word of it so far

I *knew* she wasn't really dead!

I admit, I ended up liking Oreius as the narrator, even though it was 1st person; it was a nice way to tell the story without it getting too angsty, which would've been the case had one of the Pevensie children told the tale. The two brief exceptions to share backstory, notwithstanding. It was a nice story on faith and belief in the One who holds you between His paws, particularly in regards to Susan. I liked how the boys both were overwhelmed with love for their sister's safe return, neither wanting her out of their sight or out of physical contact, just so thankful that she was alive after all. I'm also very glad Lucy rode out to meet them at the end, to reunite with her sister and to see with her own eyes that Edmund was now truly alright.

In all honesty, I kinda thought it would've served Edmund right to get spanked. I expected Philip to refuse to go when Ed told him to; after all, Ed had snuck away from him too. just saying! ;)

Thanks for writing and sharing!

Boy, what a ride! I was half sure Susan was dead! But it all ended well and the epilogue was adorable. Thank you for the story! - Ace

Darn it all anyway … one of the reasons I decided to review this in the first place was because I was curious about a term in your A/N at the end of the first chapter … and, of course, I forgot to ask you about it! So, before I forget *again*: what is "brotherly flangst"? Flangst? Something to do with angst? Okay, now I'll get to reading this chapter!
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You may have gone there, but I don't believe that Susan is dead. Yes, the summary says "very dark", but it doesn't say "deathfic" - there is a difference. So, I'll just wait to see where it goes from here. I do hope it's not all some dream someone is having.

Well-written, as usual, with characters behaving in believable ways. You did a good job capturing Peter's emotional state, for all it was seen through the eyes of a third person. Oreius does make a good narrator, observant and militarily-minded as he is, and less emotionally invested because while he may've loved Susan, she's not *his* sister. Obviously I want to keep reading, to find out what happened and what happens next!

Well, this promises to be entertaining. Good, tense start to the story, beginning basically in media res as you did and obviously all sorts of suspense and mystery with the abduction of Susan and Edmund and who this robber baron is and what he wants and the jealous woman adds even more intrigue … I could go on, but you get the idea. Also curious as to where Su and Ed were off to and hope that you'll explain that as well as the story continues.

I admit I'm not generally fan of first person (especially in long stories such as this), and I may not have read this if I had known that before I clicked on the story, but I'm intrigued enough to give it a try. Besides, we already know how much I love your writing so you've definitely earned a look. I am curious as to if the story will be told entirely in Oreius's POV (which seems odd to me) and if you do go to other view points, if they'll also be in first person or if you'll drop into third instead. I know, I know … questions which will be easily answered as soon as I delve deeper into the story.

Good start, though, and definitely makes me want to read more!

Oh this is beautiful so far!

Wow, yes. Definitely dark. But I knew you wouldn't kill off Susan! Happy that things were all mostly all right for everyone in the end...

Thank goodness Susan was still alive. :) This is a great story. It has just the right measure of angst and then humor and fluff at the end.

You know... This was the first Chronicles of Narnia fanfic I ever read... It was when you were still writing this story... in 2013. Gosh, it's been so long.

This retaught me a lesson we learned from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: never call a Talking Animal by its species name.

Nice use of wording right there.

You know, it reminds me of this meme I saw somewhere. It was a news report:

Stab victim said, "What are you going to do? Stab me?"

What is it with you and these twists? I guess I really should have seen it coming.

I had a feeling Edmund would do this. He's Edmund, after all.