I'm sorry but I thought it was really frustrating to read your story. I think your characters were all out of character. A lot of the them being unnecessarily cruel at times and angry at each other for stupid reasons. They were also really nosy about each others personal business, mainly about Link and Zelda's sex life. I especially did not like Impa and Ashei's characters for some of these reasons. I also thought you made Zelda a weak character. She didn't seem like a good fighter, user of her magic, and when it came to her thinking about Link's decision to leave or not, she would cry all the time. It was kind of annoying when Impa said about making sacrifices to make others happy and that's what they should do when they care about someone. She obviously was talking about Link and how he should sacrifice his decision to leave to make Zelda happy, but she didn't stop to think about Zelda sacrificing herself to loneliness for Link to be happy. And then I can't handle how weak Zelda was when it came to Link's decision to leave. He wanted to leave for two months-TWO MONTHS! That to me personally is not that long for someone who is adventuring. If it was six months or more maybe it would have seemed like a big deal but Zelda is supposed to be a strong character. I think she would be been perfectly fine without Link for two months. People back in the day were gone for far longer than that when they traveled or went to war. If anything, he could have still went on the trip but shortened it and returned early. Lastly, I noticed that you took out the lemon chapters that, I'm assuming, you had posted originally. Now I don't mind that those lemon parts are gone if that was your intention. However, you took the whole chapters out, which had plot in them. For example, the chapter that I'm assuming was supposed to have Link's birthday in it is completely gone. I was looking forward to reading about his party and Zelda giving him his gift but since you took out the whole chapter, because of the lemon, I didn't get to read anything about the party. Not only was it a disappointment, but it confused the heck out of me in the next chapter because I didn't know what was happening in the beginning because apparently the whole chapter before was removed. I don't know what to say about that. It was an okay story, but in my opinion it wasn't anywhere close to great.

I know they were not NECESSARY for the story but what happened to Chapter 20 and 30? it made me kind of lose my train of thought when all of a sudden I am reading about something that should be there but isn't... Confuuuused!

What happened to Chapter 20? Was it taken down or deleted?

Conflict is created from a petty matter which should have been immediately dismissed, then everyone deflates when a wacko blondie screeches at the fighters. Then the wacko blonde calms down after Mr. Heroic Greenie says "I love you"... Unless conflict between characters actually has meaning, there isn't any point in adding it in. This has happened far too many times for it to continue at this point.

This gets really frustrating to read sometimes. Whenever things finally start to return to normal, or something interesting is about to happen, someone says a couple words which causes embarrassment for Link and Zelda. The entire story doesn't have to revolve around embarrassing the two.

So is this it? Because this was reaaaaally good.

Oh no, Impa knows o-o

While the writing quality of your story is good, please note this part of the Content Guidelines:

"Please note FanFiction does not accept explicit content, Fiction Rating: MA, and the rating is only presented for reference."

Please remove all of the detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature in the story if you want it to remain on this site, or upload it to a site where the "Fiction MA" content is permitted such as AdultFanfiction.

Lovely fic, looking to read the sequel, and hope this ends good. Aww indeed baby of these lovebirds would be nice indeed.

After reading this, I feel compelled to write a review. As a whole, it has numerous components I feel are important to a good story- yet lacks the subtle things that hearken to the heart and spirit. It has moments where attitude shifts, where feelings grow tender, and the masks slip away. It has the building blocks of romance.
What it lacks are the moments that make these changes- not every moment must be a change or even a step forward. Show us how these bonds are reaffirmed, so we can believe that these two are meant for each other.
That said, I did enjoy reading this. I apologize for my tendency to wax poetic, and wish you luck and insight in further endeavors.

Sorry to be the bearer of criticism, but I calls it like I sees it; things feel rushed.

First, the transitions from place to place - Link and Zelda start of in the Mirror Chamber of the Arbiter's Grounds, then they're on Hyrule Field summoning Epona. How'd they get there and when? How much time had passed in their travel from Arbiter's Grounds? Was it an easy journey? Did they encounter remnants of the Bulblin horde?.. Did Zelda get sand up her frock?

Second, the relationship between the two... wow. While not as absurdley, unbelievably fast, it still kind of just felt too flat. In your Author's Note at the beginning you noted you always 'ship' Zelda and Link together and have for a long time before you knew what 'shipping' was, so maybe you have read alot more into the relationship established between Link and Zelda. Or rather as I see it from what is offered in canon, a lack thereof; they only met 3 times (4 if you count when she was possessed) and Zelda was the only one speaking during their encounters (well, Link could be assumed to have spoken during Midna's lament), and each meeting, save for the last was rather brief; the likelihood any relationship of being friends(even THAT is pushing it... it was more like a reliance upon a mercenary out of necessity on Zelda's part for Link's ability to remain in non-spirit state in the Twilight), let alone possibly more than that is rather preposterous. Still, I'm just basing this stance from what is observable in game.

Maybe you're of those set of people who believe Zelda to be concious of everything that happened through Midna's eyes after she offered her mysterious life saving power to her during Midna's lament. If you're going down that route of fan theory, than sure, I guess there's a bit more credence to them having something, but then it would be one-sided because Link wouldn't know he was traveling with a Zelda/Midna, two in one companion. Unless the Link you've written here just falls for any girl who shows him the slightest bit of interest... OR Zelda is the rebound to get over Midna... what am I even talking about anymore? Oh, right. The relationship.

*ahem* It feels rushed, okay? It's the first chapter and they've already embraced. It's really pushing the dividing line between super-fluffy and bullshit for me, but I'm willing to give it a pass; why? Well, let me tell you the positives:

You write rather well, aside from the rushing issue. The dancing scene was... okay, dammit I'll admit it; it was cute. You write a rather believably shy Link who honestly was just doing the right thing, and the right thing just happened to be saving the kingdom from a terrible evil; why would anyone expect praise for that? Oh I wonder. xP

So yeah, I'll be reading the next chapter. Cheers.

She's either very brave or very stupid to do anything to the Queen of Hyrule

I see that you used a little spanish but its wrong both the use and the spelling it's enamorado which means "in love". You should have used amor since it literally is "love" in spanish.

You forgot that Link has chain mail under the shirt

DDDDRRRUUUNNNNKKKK