Nice.

That was a good story. The ending packed a punch.

You did a good job. You should write another story

Where is the rest of the story? Did the wife do it?

Hello PJ,
You know, one of the most difficult things to do in writing (IMO), is the short story. The writer constantly feels additional pressure of trying to convey a substantive story which aptly describes characters and plot without going overboard with detail (thus turning it into a novel) or not providing enough information; where the reader will consequently feel lost. With that being said, I genuinely feel that you hit it about perfect with your story here. Since this was a Dragnet story; we are well-acquainted with the characters and did not need an overload of description. Your story granted us the opportunity to walk into Joe & Bill’s night-watch shift, unseen. We are able to experience both the mundane moments of the evening and dramatic events that will shape Stella Brockberg’s life forever. Your story was well-paced and the presentation of Joe and Bill’s reactions to the catastrophic news was realistic as well. This story certainly underpins the varying degrees of emotion that a police detective might go through on any given day. You also highlighted another dimension to Joe Friday’s character, in that, he is after-all, human…and a human who makes mistakes. I really enjoyed this capsulized moment of Joe Friday’s experiences as a police detective and the emotional challenges, the doubts, and the grief which are a part of those experiences. Really great work. Thank you!
-Dennis

I was thrilled to see that you decided to post your story here. May I be the first to welcome you to the Dragnet realm here at ! It's refreshing to see new writers especially within such a tiny realm as this one.

Your story was well written with just enough detail to properly set the scene. I was stunned once I reached the ending, having not expected such a heartbreaking turn of events. This certainly was not predictable! You did a great job showing us Joe's mounting emotions as he's listening to the phone call and his reaction afterward. As we know, Joe Friday didn't show much emotion throughout the sixties series, but you've done a fine job of presenting a more well-rounded character rather than the one-dimensional aspects television viewers get.

Excellent first piece and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more from you. Again, welcome to the Dragnet realm!

-Kristi