I would have attempted to bash the mirror in to alert people go something being wrong

Thank you for the story. It is beautiful.

I haven’t finished the chapter but the Les Miserable reference gives me life. I absolutely adore that musical!

Chapter One

First impression... the sentences run on. Details are stuffed into each sentence, which makes things feel forced. Many of the details were unnecessary or too much, and there were parts that needed description. For instance, you described that Nina was wearing civilian clothes and even exactly what kind of outfit it was. But you failed to describe where and how Khan was being held so she could check his vitals in the first place. You also spent a paragraph describing how Khan’s eyes were like diamonds, which is excessive.

The writing style looked as if it was aspiring to be formal, which I feel suits your original character. However I think it will clash with other characters, like Bones and Jim. To combat this, showing the character’s personalities through their actions and dialogue is imperative. Although, when Bones and Nina spoke a lot about nothing in the beginning of the chapter, I could not see much of Bones personality at all.

In the end, it seemed cobbled together and somewhat clumsily written. But there are quite a few readers who stuck around, so I will as well. I hope this first impression changes with the following chapters.

Amazing story!

I'm crying.. DON'T END IIIIIIIIT!

What a wonderful read. Thank you for this wonderful experience.

Hi there. How are you? This is my first ( Star Trek John Harrison/Khan ) story that I ever read; and you are not dissappointing ; Thank you :).

*reads first paragraph* i think I am starting to remember a little bit now. lol. Not enough for me to stop.

Back for another round. I wanted to write this before I started reading. I had a huge debate whether or not I wanted to reread this or not. I remember I had very strong feelings when I read this the first time but since I don't remember what happened I am tempted...well I am going to read this again.

*After reading the chapter* - Yep still have no clue what happens. Guess I have to read on.

That les mis reference made me laugh haha

O.o
A baby
Whaaaaa

Welp
Jim knows
This'll get weird soon
Yaaay!

HORMONES ARE OUT OF WACK
Poor nina
This'll be hard

This be crazy
And its killing me
XD
I love it