More! This story is professional! Please, MORE!

Why does the picture for this story look suspiciously like a face-palm?

Now THAT is how you end a chapter.

Very well written. I'm very much looking forward to reading more, so keep the good work coming!

WB. I loved your story so far. I like the emotion that Evelyn is feeling that a treasured friend is attracted to a woman which she'll be shocked when she finds out is family. Not to mention I like how Hawke and Evelyn don't like each other immediately. It will be interesting to see how they react when their relation's reveled. Not to mention that what's happening in the powder keg that's Kirkwall. How will Evelyn survive through this whole thing.. Not to mention when she meets Fenris again. Great parts all, Keep it up when you can

Oh, poor Evelyn! Can't imagine what she'll think when she finds out the Hawkes are indeed her family.

You've done a great job with this little love triangle and Anders grief over Karl was very nicely drawn.

This story continues to be delightful.

Once again a very beautifully written chapter, emotive and powerful scenes xxx

I am so laaaaaaaaaaate with this, mea culpa!

Ok, that first scene had me smiling, tearing up and it gave me so many feels. I love seeing Anders at work, so to speak. He is a born healer and I wanted to see more of his efforts in Dark Town in the game itself. He is giving everything in his power to improve the lot of the refugees, it breaks my heart. And working in tandem with Evelyn is the perfect fusion of all that is good, kind and, no pun intended, just. Even the "NPCs" are fleshed out so well, it really made that moment come alive. Loving it.

I absolutely dig Evelyn mothering Anders, it's so perfectly endearing. They connect on so many levels, major feels everywhere. She just sees through all of his barricades, soothes without cutting deeper, yet she is firm and strong when needed as well. I just adore her, ok?

And oh oh, the second scene. I loved the introduction of Fenris. Prefer it to the ingame reveal, tbh. That moment was so intense, so heartbreaking... You got his character, his voice just right IMHO. My heart goes out to him so much. And God, of course he would be suspicious of Evelyn. And she would know how to calm his fears at least somewhat. There is a subtle layer of chemistry woven into this that intrigues me mucho mucho. Damn, this stuff is amazing, I could go on and on.

But I'll just say that I'll hop on to the next chapter. :)

This was a terrific chapter! The tension between Anders and Evelyn at the beginning was palpable, as was Evelyn's jealousy over Hawke, An interesting triangle going on there. And then everything within the Chantry was really intense and well done.

Love the story. Keep it up!

You brought a whole new light and descriptive power to that scene and I believe if I'd never played the game I would still have been able to picture the scene. Emotive and very powerful. well done and update more often please? xxx

This story looks promising. Please keep up the good work.

Ha! Lysandra is delightful, as was the whole chapter. Cant wait to see what happens next.

Ok, I admit it, this chapter had me grinning, laughing, smirking... It is so effin' perfect.

Lysandra might just be my fave Hawke now. That exchange between the sisters was touching, funny... It really portrayed a bond between sisters beautifully. You could FEEL the history, the deeply rooted love, the protectiveness on BOTH sides. I love your portrayal of Sunshine. She's often reduced to "just" a sweetie but she is so much more. A strong, smart woman, an apostate who was NEVER caught... This is, to me, one of the strongest women in the entire DA universe. She and Lysandra are so well matched, it's amazing.

And then Varric entered the picture. I loved the little touches you added to his BAMF intro in canon. There sparks are REALLY flying and their battle of wits had me in tears of laughter. Who could resist this silver tongued, charming dwarf? I mean, DAYUM. You captured him so beautifully, I adored his snark, his irresistible wit, his BADASSERY...

Another wonderful installment I thoroughly enjoyed!

I am sooooooo late with this but...

This chapter is so heartbreaking to me. The squalor and heartbreak of Darktown were so brilliantly evoked... And Anders' bitterness really tore at my heart. I so understand his frustration, his heartache and his lack of hope. And then this marvelous, tiny woman opens her mouth and filters through that darkness and pain like sunlight. She is a born healer at it truly shows here. The scene with the Grandpa and the child was so apt in its depiction of the fear, prejudice and anger even the most benevolent of mages (And I cannot think of a more benevolent mage than Evelyn) face on a daily basis. I was SO glad to see that she was able to help and that her courage, her gusto and her zest revived some of Anders' hope and will to do everything he can to prove to the world how wrong they are. Amazing.

And then the scene involving Rhiannon...

OMG I squeaked! You captured her so well, it amazes me. The down to business, no nonsense attitude as a Commander, the anguish and guilt when she is alone with the only man in all of Thedas who is permitted to see her like this. *FEELS* You also captured Loghain perfectly. That dry humor, the sarcasm...perfect. And the tenderness he has for her. DAMN.

Those scouts never stood a chance, heh. I will admit, that whole exchange made me laugh.

Well done. I am loving this SO much!

What a lovely introduction to Fenris!

This story is so fantastic, and I'm completely invested in the plight of all the characters you've introduced so far. Can't wait to see what happens next.